


(fate) it's woven in my soul

by nihonlove



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Culture, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Canonical Character Death, Dads of Marmora (Voltron), Families of Choice, Fantastic Racism, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Hugs, I'm sorry but that's in canon, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Thace/Ulaz, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person Limited, Pack Dynamics, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Protective Keith (Voltron), Secret Identity, Shapeshifting, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Soulmates, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-05-18 15:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 51,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihonlove/pseuds/nihonlove
Summary: When he sent on yet another standard spying mission by the Blade, Keith is not expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen. What he ends up finding are his soulmate and his destiny as the Red Paladin of Voltron. But can he really trust his new team to accept him if they knew he was Galra, especially when the man he rescued and is beginning to fall for doesn’t seem to remember or recognize him at all?AKA: the fic where Keith lost his father at a young age, his mother brought him to be raised in space, and he ends up saving Shiro.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Sheith enthusiasts :). This is the fic I've been working on for a while with All That Good Stuff like Space Soulmates, Galra Keith and Dads of Marmora. I've sprinkled on some Galra Culture and language too ;). I hope you like it!

The quiet emptiness of space surrounds him at all sides, the stars twinkling in the distance almost seeming to wish him well as he flies through them towards his destination. The enormous ship with its multiple windows almost gets lost in them, but looking at it Keith feels none of the homely warmth and affection he does when he looks at the stars and the planets in the far distance. The small lights of space remind him of home, of family, of comfort, but all seeing that ship does is make anger boil in the pit of his stomach. Keith swallows around his suddenly sour throat, taking a few deep breaths to remain focused and to stay calm like he’s been taught. This is no time to let his emotions cloud his judgement.

He presses at the communication button at the collar of his suit, and says, “This is Agent K-348. Agent A-579, do you copy?”

It only takes a few ticks before he hears Alryn’s familiar voice respond through the communication, _“I copy.”_

“Approaching the Empire ship under the Commander known by the name of Sendak. Requesting entrance,” Keith says, making sure to keep his thoughts honed in on his mission and allowing that to guide him through the motions. It’s best if he doesn’t let himself think too much as he works, allowing his instincts and knowledge guide him over his emotions. He needs to do his best to keep a clear head and to let himself work through this with his experience on almost autopilot. Flying just like this works especially well for that purpose. Keith has always been at his most comfortable flying his way through the open space, tiny in comparison to the huge Empire warships and bases he infiltrates, going unnoticed because of his speed and size. All he has to think about when he’s in the pilot’s seat is the flight; the way he can move weightlessly through the air, blending in with the stars and the debris of space. He’s almost comfortable here, confident in his skills and movements, and therefore unafraid and calm.

 _“Copy that, Agent,”_ Alryn’s voice sounds in his ear, a comfort in itself in how much it’s becoming a part of Keith’s routine on these missions. _“Hacking in now to open a hatch on the left lower side of the ship. I can only keep it open for 50 ticks undetected, so be fast.”_

“Have we met?” Keith says into the comm, but prepares himself regardless for speeding up his vessel and the slight loss of control it may cause. Just the thought of that sends his heart pounding, and he almost can’t stop the smile from breaking out on his face. These stealth and spying missions may be growing dull and feel pointless – although at least it’s actual Blade work over just transporting supplies – but getting to enjoy the rush of sneaking in and flying right under the radar of the Empire unnoticed always manages to make Keith’s blood sing in his veins. He knows it’s kittenish of him to enjoy the challenge and the peril of it when he should be taking his work seriously, but he can’t help the way he feels. It’s this rush that kept him sane during the mind-numbingly tiresome and mundane supply runs for the Blade, and it’s what keeps the spark alive for him now when he’s still only allowed to do stealth work.

 _“Protocol, Keith,”_ Alryn speaks over the comm, but Keith knows she’s not actually angry or worried. She wouldn’t have used his name if that was the case, and he can hear the gentle amusement in her voice.

“Sorry, Alryn,” Keith says, but can’t help the chuckle escaping his lips. “I meant: copy that.”

 _“Good,”_ Alryn says. _“Get ready, I’m almost in.”_

“Copy that,” Keith says, pressing the correct buttons in front of him and pulling the right lever to speed up towards the side of the Empire warship. His vessel is small and light and easy to maneuver, and Keith soars through the air completely unnoticed.

He lets himself enjoy the light feeling flying like this brings him momentarily while at the same time focusing on his task. Soon enough, he sees a bay door opening for him at the lower side of the warship, and he flies in cleanly and without trouble, landing his vessel inside the ship effortlessly and softly.

After his landing, Keith pauses momentarily to check if he has company with his ears, his nose and his eyes, but just as he was promised, there is no one around in the hangar. His vessel is also the exact same model and size as the others inside this part of the warship, blending in with the rest of them perfectly. Keith lets out a short sigh. Although he hadn’t doubted the intel, especially when it came from Ulaz, it’s still always a relief to see it for himself, to know for certain that there is at least one less complication he needs to worry about on this mission.

He proceeds to pull up the hood of his armor over his head, kisses the pendant he always wears for good luck around his neck before tucking it inside his armor, and wraps his long dark braid around his neck for safety. All of this has become routine for him by now, a ritual of good fortune and respite before he heads to work. Keith takes in a breath and activates his Blade mask to cover his face.

“I’m in,” he whispers into his communicator. “Turning communication off. Will contact if necessary.”

 _“Copy that, Agent,”_ Alryn responds, and Keith opens up his vessel, slipping out of it light and soundless on his feet. Time to get to work.

Just in case, Keith keeps himself hidden behind all the vessels in the hangar and their shadows on his way out, but he thankfully doesn’t run into any trouble there. His good luck continues even as he makes way to the ship proper and moves quietly through its numerous corridors. Keith has spent all his life living on space ships and bases not too unlike this one, even before his numerous stealth missions. He knows how move quick and silent on his feet, how to hide and blend into the shadows of the ship in his dark Blade armor. Even surrounded by enemies as he is, he’s not afraid. Keith knows he’s good at what he does, and more than that, he’s determined and sure. If he can do anything to help advance the cause of the Blade, he’ll gladly do it, no matter the cost. The mission comes first. Knowledge or death. And today Keith has no intention of meeting his death.

On this particular mission, it helps that most of the guards on ships like these are just plain sentries, mindlessly working through their robotic days and tasks. They’re easier to hide from since they can’t quite detect everything an actual live guard would. They have more blind spots, and Keith can hide easily, knowing they won’t detect him by sound if he stays light and quick on in his movements or by their peripheral visions. His sense of smell may not be as strong as a full Galra’s, but it’s good enough to at least know when the sentries are coming his way, and it helps him hide in time. The sentries can occasionally even be tricked because they generally only have a few ways of dealing with different situations programmed into them. If you can outsmart them, you can at least buy yourself some time.

All of this, the hiding and the sneaking, is routine for Keith by now, and almost dull in how easily he moves through the corridors. He does his best to keep focused and not let his mind wander, reciting the layout and the map of the ship he memorized before coming here. What he’s looking for should be almost at the opposite end of the ship, which is irritating and tiresome, but not discouraging. Keith has survived worse. It won’t be getting there that will be the problem, it’ll be what he should do after he gets there.

According to Ulaz, Empire Commander Sendak is keeping some sort of superweapon on this ship until indefinite notice. Ulaz hasn’t been able to find out what it is, not having the access to that part of the ship in his position as a doctor and scientist on the ship, and has no natural way of asking about it from anyone. The Blade can’t risk Ulaz’s cover being blown by sending him to that end of the ship to investigate and they don’t have the time for Ulaz to try and gain the information through other means. That’s why Keith is here now. His first priority is, as always, knowledge. Just finding out what the weapon is will be enough, and that is his main objective. Anything else would only be an additional bonus.

Keith knows this, as well as the fact that the second most important thing is to stay alive an undetected. But he also can’t help but wish he could find a way to steal this weapon for the Blade’s use, just a little. If it really is so magnificent, it could turn the tide of the war at least some towards the Blade’s favor. They could use it to really fight the Empire, to free and help the enslaved people and the planets suffering under the Empire’s rule.

Keith lets out a quiet sigh, and almost laughs at himself and his kittenish thoughts. He should know better by now than to think a single thing, person or weapon could somehow turn this war around and end it. It’s not going to be that simple. It’s what he’s been taught since he was small. The Blade and the rebel forces may grow with each deca-phoeb, but ultimately they are all miniscule in comparison to an Empire that has been festering and growing stronger and greater with each of its 10,000 deca-phoebes in power. The only way the Blade can survive in these circumstances is to remain cautious and hidden, away from the public eye and always hiding in the shadows. They can’t remain that way if they started freeing planets or letting the Empire know they even exist in any way. All they can do is what little they can by gathering information to take down the Empire from the inside and aiding the few people they can and come across. Nothing more, nothing less. One single weapon, no matter how grand, is not going to change that or the Blade’s age-old ways.

Keith knows all this. He knows. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t sometimes wish that things could be different; that the Blade, that _he_ could make a real difference. But all he can do, all he’s allowed to do right now is just to gather information, never knowing or seeing where what he finds out leads to, if anywhere. He’s still the youngest Blade, after all, and he doesn’t have access to that kind of information or right to demand anything to change for himself or for the world. All he can do is complete what he’s given as well as he can and try to be grateful for what he has.

Keith presses himself into the shadows of one of the construction pillars on the ship’s wall, and takes a few calming breaths for himself. He’s letting his mind wander again. He needs to focus and not let his frustrations get the best of him. He knows that, too. It’s just been getting harder and harder to do that lately, ever since Ulaz, too, went undercover and only Antok and Kolivan remained at the base out of Keith’s family. His mother and Thace were sent out on their own missions even earlier, as soon as Keith grew old enough to join the Blade ranks, even as a cargo pilot.

At least when Ulaz was still with them at home, Keith had someone who would listen to him talk and knew how to calm him when he grew irritated and discouraged. Keith loves Antok and Kolivan of course, but he’s never been able to talk to them the same way he could to the others in his family since they’re ranked so much higher than he is. They don’t talk much in general either and they don’t have time for him to act like a kit in front of them. Nowadays it’s even harder when Kolivan is usually the main source of Keith’s anger. Even if Keith dared to bring it up with him, Kolivan probably just explain it away in a way that makes far too much sense but is just irritating to listen to, and Antok would want Keith to train his feelings away which is not always what Keith wants or needs.

Ulaz may not talk much either, but it’s in a way that makes him a good listener, and he was always willing to lend Keith an ear if he needed it. He’d give Keith good advice on how to deal with what he was going through, and if Keith needed it, he’d cuddle him and stroke his head the way Keith’s family always does for him, usually while singing him a song or telling him a story until he felt better. And perhaps it’s the fact Keith knows Ulaz is on this very ship right now, too, but he suddenly misses him so much he almost aches with it. He wonders if he could risk sneaking off to see him for a bit after he finds the weapon, just long enough for a song and a cuddle.

It’s right when he’s considering the risks of doing just that that Keith is suddenly broken out of his thoughts by a sudden noise coming from not too far away. He can hear someone thrashing around, the sentries’ mechanical walking, and two sets of steps that seem to originate with living beings. Keith can smell them too, just barely – two sentries, one Galra and one with a smell he doesn’t recognize, but both of the latter two men. The one with the strange smell is probably a prisoner, and likely of a race Keith has encountered once or twice because there is something familiar about the smell that he can’t seem to quite place right now. What overtakes them though are voices – no, screams, of the people close by. Unable to do anything else, knowing it’s not safe for him to move right now if he doesn’t want to get spotted, Keith presses himself deeper into the pillar’s shadows, keeping as still as possible to listen in on what is happening.

“Haven’t I given you enough?!” is what Keith hears first. The words are spoken by a deep voice and accompanied by more rattling and thrashing sounds that seem to indicate some sort of struggle, likely from the voice’s owner. And for some reason, hearing the voice seems to send Keith’s heart up into his throat, making it hard for him to breathe. “What more do you want from me? Why can’t you just let me go already?”

“All this time, and your hope still hasn’t dimmed?” comes another voice, light with mockery and ire; a voice of someone who knows he’s already won the battle even before it started. This is likely the Galra Keith smelled, the jailer of the struggling prisoner. “Just accept your lot and you’ll be much happier for the remainder of your life.”

“No!” the prisoner screams, his tone taking on an almost desperate note now that cuts Keith right into the core. “No, let me go!”

Keith realizes he’s shaking as he listens to the further sounds of struggle, and he almost wishes he could cry or throw up. He thought he was under no illusion about the horrifying ways of the Empire and what they do, what happens to their prisoners when they’re captured. The Blade has lost many warriors to the Empire after all, some of whom Keith even knew and loved, like Zanva. But he’s never been this close to such tangible proof of their brutality while it’s actually happening, nor been in a position where he could actually do something about it. And it’s already far more eye-opening than he had ever wished.

Keith hears the mechanical fist of one of the sentries make contact with something, that something likely being the prisoner judging by the soft groan he can just barely detect over all the other noise. A few thumping sounds follow, the prisoner likely falling down on the ground, possibly unconscious and sedated. Keith’s breathing is coming out more and more rushed and he struggles to keep it even and silent so his tormentors won’t hear and find him.

“This one is starting to become more trouble than he’s worth, no matter what the witch says,” the mocking tone of the jailer says, and Keith barely manages to stifle his gasp that is a mix of horror and shock. If he prisoner has been seen to by the High Priestess herself, it must mean he’s of very high value and importance to the Empire. Keith may only have heard tales and rumors of her ways, but just the thought of the prisoner in her hands makes him shake with fear and an anger that almost surprises him with its ferociousness.

“Call Dr. Ulaz,” the jailer’s voice continues, and Keith swallows around his tight throat. “Let’s see if he can do something to help us… _deal_ with him better.”

“Yes, sire,” Keith hears the monotone voice of one of the sentries speak, followed by the mechanical whirr that comes from the movement of their limbs and their metallic footsteps against the warship’s floor that begin to grow closer and closer to him. Keith presses himself even more impossibly closer into the shadows to hide from them. Thankfully though, he can hear the jailer’s footsteps growing lighter and lighter in his ears, undoubtedly heading towards another direction, so Keith is likely at least safe from him for now.

Indeed, this becomes confirmed for him as the two sentries walk past the pillar whose shadows Keith is using to hide himself in. They have their backs turned on him and don’t seem to have spotted him, but that is not what draws Keith’s attention at that moment. It’s the man the sentries are dragging along by his arms, his body loose and relaxed as he lies against the floor. He’s awake, though clearly disoriented, his dark eyes unfocused and weary. But in spite of that, he’s evidently more aware of his surroundings than the sentries, and because he is being dragged with his back turned to them, he’s in the perfect position to see Keith. Indeed, it’s almost as if he can sense Keith’s eyes on him, based on the way he sluggishly moves his head just enough to meet Keith’s eyes in the darkness through Keith’s mask.

And although the man can’t see Keith’s face in return, as soon as their eyes meet, Keith feels like he’s been pierced through to his very soul. It’s as though as those eyes watch him, they’re tugging at his very being, pulling at his quintessence, as if the man is silently calling for Keith. And for a moment, Keith can barely breathe. He feels almost like he’s reliving the hardest blow dealt to him in his Blade Trials and being caressed gently and affectionately by someone he loves at the same time.

He’s almost dizzy with the feeling, his breath shuddering as it comes out. It all shocks him so thoroughly that it’s only moments later that Keith even realizes to properly take in the man’s appearance and the strange yet familiar general scent of his species, which is another shock in itself. Keith has only ever seen two people who look even remotely like this man that is apparently of some vital importance to the Empire. One of them he’s seen in the old pictures that his mother has given him, the ones that showed his blood father. The other is in the mirror when Keith takes on his less-preferred, paler form that he inherited from the man in those pictures.

If Keith is not entirely mistaken, this man is a human, from the planet Earth, just like his long-passed blood father. The same planet that Keith was born on, where his mother found her lifemate and that she lived on for a few years before his blood father’s sudden passing. It feels almost impossible to think of. Keith has never seen another person alive who carries the human blood in space. From his mother’s stories of Earth and his father’s journals, the humans’ space travelling capabilities were far behind what they’re used to in the other solar systems when they were there. Have they really made so much progress less than 20 deca-phoebes that they would make it all the way out here? And what value is this man to the Empire that High Priestess Haggar herself would wish to lay her hands on him?

As he curiously and hungrily takes in the man’s appearance further, Keith is almost disappointed to realize that this human is clearly a lot taller and bigger than he is. He’d always hoped the fact he’s so small would’ve been due to his human blood, but although this human doesn’t come close to most Galra men, he’s also not wire thin and slight like Keith is. He’s clearly strong too, with his powerful arms and legs and torso, and his dark hair is cut short except for a single white lock hanging right in front of his face. Wearing as he is the standard prisoner clothes of the Empire, consisting of a skin-tight black undersuit and a violet short tunic, all the beautiful lines and power of his body are plain for Keith to see. With his sharp jawline, strong body and dark eyes, the prisoner really is almost ridiculously appealing to look at, even if Keith doesn’t have much to compare him to as far as human beauty goes. By Galra standards though, even being shorter than the average, he’s more than admirable in looks alone, even without having much fur or the purple skin.

The tug in Keith’s being seems to only grow stronger and more painful as the sentries drag the human further away, and he has to firmly tell himself to stay put where he is and not follow that man to wherever his mechanical guards are taking him. Instead, he raises his finger to where his lips are behind his mask, hoping the man might see and understand to keep his mouth shut about seeing him. Before he can see if the man reacted to the gesture in any way, though, the sentries turn a corner and he’s no longer in Keith’s line of sight.

It’s enough to help Keith have a slightly clearer mind, and he shakes his head to further brush off this strange desperation he feels; this need to follow and save that man from whatever harm the Empire may intend on him. He can’t do that right now. Keith can’t help him at this moment, and he needs to start focusing and being smart about this. There are far too many sentries around here, and far too many risks to be spotted and seen and recaptured if he went after the man now. This part of the ship is also too far away from the ships they could use to get out of here. The human has likely taken a blow to the head and isn’t coherent enough to move fast or assist Keith in a fight if the need would arise. They would get caught very fast if Keith tried anything right now. He needs a proper plan.

It doesn’t even come as a surprise that just by this one encounter, Keith has apparently decided to save this man. He knows in his gut he won’t leave him here no matter what. He’ll save this man or die trying.

He takes a few calming breaths, trying to gather his thoughts and come up with something. He recaps everything he knows for the moment about this man and his fate. It’s what he’s been taught; to go back to the beginning if needed, to use knowledge as his greatest weapon and to plan from the ground up with what he knows. It doesn’t take long for the words of the jailer to ring in his mind and it hits him right then. He knows what he must do.

He sniffs the air, keeping his ears alert for sentries or other guards. When he detects none, Keith quickly turns on his communicator.

“This is Agent K-348, calling for Agent U-529. Do you copy?”

There is a moment’s silence, during which Keith holds his breath, before a familiar, comforting voice speaks through the comm, _“This is Agent U-529. What is the matter?”_

“There’s been a change of plans. I need your help. Can I come to you?”

A pause. Then, _“Find me in my quarters. They’re marked in the map I’ve provided as intel if you get lost. Remove as much of your armor as you can, and unmask yourself before you enter. Come in your Galra form. Try not to get spotted. Knock three times on the door when you arrive.”_

“Copy that. See you soon,” Keith says, turning off the comm once again and hurrying on his way.

…

Despite the circumstances, Ulaz’s familiar face and form is a pleasure to pained pallukas to see as he opens the door to his quarters for Keith.

“Come, inside, quickly,” Ulaz says, stepping out of the doorway to let Keith in.

Keith does as told in a few quick strides, and smiles a little when he sees that even undercover, Ulaz hasn’t been able to break most of his deep-rooted habits. His living space is still spotless and neatly arranged, all corners straight and no item out of place. He still lives in a very minimalist way too, having nearly no meaningful items, especially without Thace’s things there to mix with his own. The only small personal touch is the reading pad on his nightstand that he likely uses to keep up with the latest tales and news. Otherwise the room is bare to the bones, with only the essentials of a bed, a writing desk and a wardrobe giving it any sort of life.

“What’s going on, kitling? What’s happened?” Ulaz asks, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders and guiding him to sit by him on his bed. The warmth of Ulaz’s touch, his gentle melodic voice and his familiar scent lingering in the room soothe Keith’s nerves a little, even in a situation like this. He really has missed Ulaz so much, and he feels like he can immediately breathe a bit better in his presence.

It still takes Keith a moment to prepare himself to say what he must. He knows Ulaz won’t be happy with what he needs to tell him or what he’s about to do, but Keith also knows that he has to do this. He won’t walk out of here whole if he doesn’t.

“Did you know that they have a human on this ship? One of the prisoners,” Keith asks, keeping his tone soft and quiet, vulnerable and kittenish. This is the tone he used to get his way with his family when he was still a kit. It never did work as well on Ulaz as it did on Thace, but it still can’t hurt and Keith needs all the help he can get with what he’s about to do.

Ulaz blinks momentarily, hesitating a tick.

“Yes,” he says, his tone both grave and confused. “He is the one they call ‘the Champion.’ Sendak has received him for entertainment for the moment for his glorious deeds for the Empire.”

The Champion. Even Keith has heard the rumors of the famed gladiator fighter for the Empire’s entertainment, who against all odds has never lost a fight in the arena. It feels strange to think that human, strong as he seemed, as him, so vulnerable and hurt as he was in his earlier position. But then, what really is the Champion except just another prisoner, another pawn in the games the Empire plays?

“I want to save him,” Keith says. “No, that’s incorrect. I _will_ save him.”

Ulaz’s eyes widen in surprise, and it’s all the reaction Keith gets. But from Ulaz it’s as though he was shaking Keith in shock and horror. “Kitling, are you out of your mind?” he says, breathless. “This is a heavily-guarded ship with tons of Empire soldiers, not to even mention Sendak himself. You’ll never make it.”

“Yes I will. If you’ll help me,” Keith says, and looks Ulaz straight in the eye, trying to let all his determination and conviction shine through his gaze. “They’re going to bring him to you for some purpose. They want to hurt him, possibly even kill him. I can’t let that happen. Not when I know I had the chance to do something about it, to save him.”

“ _Silizk_ …” Ulaz starts.

Keith doesn’t let him. “I’m doing this with or without you. But if you help me, I’ll have a better chance at succeeding.”

“Why is this so very important to you?” Ulaz breathes, sounding almost pleading, and Keith can’t help but hurt for asking this of Ulaz. But he can’t and won’t let that hurt stand in his way, to stop him from doing this.

“Because…” Keith takes in a breath. “I’ve been gathering intel for a while now. Before that I was practically a cargo pilot. I know that both these jobs are important in their own ways for our pack to function and move forward, but I never get to see any actual results for myself. I never get to actually help anyone. I don’t even get any chances to. Now I have that chance. And the Empire clearly values this man for some reason. A reason that I think goes further than just plain entertainment.”

Keith pauses to think. “He deserves to be saved. I…I feel like if we help him, we’ll be doing a lot more than we know right now.” It’s not until those words escape his mouth that Keith realizes he means them. He hasn’t really had the time to think about it properly, but he’s definitely having one of those moments where it just feels like he _knows_ something that can’t be explained by words alone. But he’s learned to trust that feeling over the deca-phoebes, and so has his family.

Ulaz narrows his eyes too, in that way that shows he’s been convinced but he’s still pretending to think about his decision. But his mouth his downturned in a frown in that manner that tells Keith he can tell Keith is hiding something, too, or at least holding some information back.

And because Keith has never liked keeping things from Ulaz, and because he really needs his help, he says, “Ulaz…I think he’s my _urmerzk_.”

Ulaz’s eyes widen at that again. Twice in about five minutes. That has to be a record from him. But then again, meeting one’s kindred soul is never a light matter, much less so under these kinds of circumstances. Keith is fairly sure that if he lets himself think about it any more than this, he might actually cry himself.

“Keith…are you certain?” Ulaz says, his tone full of concern as he places one large hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Keith says, shaking his head, his breath coming out in quick shudders again as he speaks. “I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like when meeting them. You’ve said it yourself, that the feeling of that can’t really be described. All I know is that I must save him, and that I am drawn to him in a way I can’t explain.”

Ulaz purses his lips, considering his words. When he speaks, his tone and expression are soft, shadowed with sorrow. “You do understand that even if we manage to save him, you may never see him again after this.”

“I know,” Keith says, hanging his head. “But I still have to try. He doesn’t deserve this kind of fate.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Ulaz says gently, pulling Keith close to him and beginning to stroke his head. If the situation wasn’t so miserable, Keith might laugh at the circumstances he got the cuddle he wished for under. He can’t even bring himself to purr, as good as this type of comfort and closeness feels. “I’ve been considering saving him myself. He gives the people hope unlike anyone I’ve ever seen. I think he’ll do great things if he can only be granted his freedom.”

“Then…you’ll help me?”

“I’ll help you, _silizk_ ,” Ulaz confirms. “But this is likely to compromise my mission.”

“I’ll take the blame,” Keith says. “You know Kolivan can’t stay mad at me for too long.”

“No, he cannot,” Ulaz says, and his amused purring rumbles against Keith’s cheek where it’s pressed against Ulaz’s chest, before Ulaz moves to put enough distance between the two of them to look Keith in the eyes and to talk to him seriously. “Now, listen to me very carefully. We probably don’t have much time. This is what we’ll do…”

…

As it turns out, they only get less than two vargas before Ulaz is called to attend to the Champion, whose real name Keith has since learned is Shiro. By the time they arrive in the medical facilities of the ship, dressed in similar armored medical robes and sanitation masks, Shiro looks to be much more alert than he was when Keith last saw him, even strapped to the table as he is. He’s clearly struggling to get out, gnawing and baring his teeth in a mix of anger and fear, and Keith has to force himself not to look at him. He wishes he could tell him somehow that he won’t have to suffer much longer, that Keith is here now and he’ll get him out no matter what.

“What seems to be the issue, Lieutenant Haxus?” Ulaz asks a slim-faced Galra who appears to be overseeing the guards keeping an eye on Shiro as he and Keith enter the medical room.

“The Champion keeps causing trouble, no matter what we do to him. I’m afraid we need some more…persuasive methods if we’re to continue keeping him,” the soldier known as Haxus says.

“Understood. I’ll see what I can do,” Ulaz says, stepping further into the room. Keith follows him. “Leave everything to me. I know you have much to attend to.”

“Indeed. I appreciate it, doctor,” Haxus says, just before Keith can feel his eyes at his back. “Who is this?”

“My new assistant. He arrived not long ago after much request,” Ulaz says, speaking over Keith like he’s not even there. It’s the only way to be, given that Keith’s height generally gives him away as a half-breed. “Pretty little thing, isn’t he?”

Keith bites his lip. He knows this, too, is all part of the act, but it’s still unpleasant to hear from Ulaz of all people.

“Indeed,” Haxus says, his tone turning deeper, leerier. “Perhaps I might borrow him once you’re done here?”

“Perhaps so,” Ulaz says. “Vrepit Sa.”

“Vrepit Sa,” Haxus says, giving Ulaz the Empire salute which Ulaz returns, before turning on his way to leave the room.

As soon as he’s out of the door, Ulaz turns his attention to Shiro, who is beginning to struggle even more against the energy straps keeping his arms at his sides, even if it doesn’t do much to help. He looks so frightened and helpless, and it cuts Keith deep to the bone. And as if that wasn’t enough, he can also see that the foot soldiers in the room are in the process of giving Shiro more anesthetic through a syringe to the wrist.

“No!” Shiro screams from the bottom of his throat, and it comes out so choked. So long must he have suffered. “You took my hand! What more do you want!?”

It’s the first time that Keith really has the time or the attention to notice it, but now that he knows to look he can see that Shiro’s right arm is, indeed, an Empire-made prosthetic of clear metal. He’s already lost so much. Keith has gotten to him far too late. Shiro should’ve been saved long before this.

“Stop,” Ulaz says to the foot soldier, gently swatting at his hands that are giving Shiro the anesthetic. “I want him awake enough to feel this.”

The foot soldier moves away, Ulaz gives Keith a look, and Keith seizes his chance. Since the soldier’s back is turned to him, Keith quickly pulls out his blade from the folds of his robe, and it’s an easy, clean kill from behind. Keith can hear the sounds of struggle behind himself too, and by the time he turns, Ulaz has taken down the two others in the room with them.

Ulaz rushes his way to Shiro, taking out a small device from the folds of his own robe. “Listen to me, we don’t have much time,” Ulaz says as he activates the device right above Shiro’s metallic arm. Keith recognizes it as a standard Blade coordinate copier and he wonders what Ulaz is doing with that with Shiro. He doesn’t let himself wonder long though, because Ulaz is right. They’re already running out of time, so Keith rushes over to Shiro too to work on releasing him from his bindings on the examination table, ripping off the surgical mask from the lower half of his face as he does.

Before he can properly start, though, Keith can see that Shiro’s eyes are beginning to take on that unfocused look again. They’re drooping closed, like he’s just barely awake, and that’s a very bad thing in this situation. So, Keith does the first thing he can think of, and slaps him across the face.

“Stay awake, you must stay awake, Shiro,” Keith says, but it comes out almost like a plea.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” Shiro says, his voice a little muffled and confused. But his gaze is clearer now as he meets Keith’s eyes. Keith gives him a small smile, hoping it might put him a little more at ease, perhaps indicate to him that he and Ulaz are here to help and don’t mean him any harm.

“Listen. Zarkon has located the Blue Lion of Voltron on your Planet Earth.” Keith can’t help the gasp that escapes him. Voltron? Isn’t that just an old children’s tale? Ulaz mentioned nothing of this before. “You must get it before he does.” Ulaz finishes with making the table release Shiro from his bindings, and moves to help him sit up. “Come on, we must go,” he says. “I’ve planted a bomb to cover your escape. Go with Keith, he’ll help you get into a pod.”

Keith immediately goes to Shiro’s side and wraps his arm around his own shoulders to support his weight, helping him stand up. “Let’s go.”

“Who are you two?” Shiro asks again, still sounding breathless and confused, but at least he’s moving along as Keith beings to pull him.

“I am Ulaz,” Ulaz says. “This is my _silizk_ , Keith. We’re here to help you.”

“Keith…” Shiro murmurs, turning his head to look at him with a strange expression on his face. Keith’s cheeks begin to feel slightly heated at how heated and grateful and _heavy_ Shiro’s gaze feels on him. He also has to focus on getting Shiro to stand up on his own two feet so Keith can ignore the way hearing his name from Shiro’s lips makes his quintessence sing and the way he can now really _feel_ just how strong and well-formed Shiro’s powerful and warm body is against his own.

It’s a good thing that Keith is strong for his size and that Shiro is evidently becoming steadier with each step, because he’s also _heavy_. It’s a chore to even help him walk, but by the time they make it to the door of the medical room, Shiro seems to be almost lucid and is barely leaning on Keith anymore. But he’s also not taking his arm off from Keith’s shoulders, so Keith doesn’t make him either. Heavy or not, Keith wants to be close to him, to lighten any burden Shiro may have as much as he can, while he still can. He’s clearly carried so much alone. Keith won’t mind carrying this much for him.

“You two go along now,” Ulaz says, glancing around at the doorway to make sure they’re still alone, before turning to speak to them properly. “Shiro, if you survive, go to the coordinates I inserted into your arm. The Blade of Marmora is with you. Keith, be safe. You know what to do and where to go.”

Keith nods. “Come on, Shiro, let’s get out of here.”

Shiro nods wordlessly back at him, still with that strange look of something akin to awe in his eyes. Keith begins to lead the two of them towards the escape pod bay, Ulaz heading to the other direction to cover their tracks.

“Why…why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?” Shiro asks as they begin to move, his voice still hoarse and weary even as his steps begin to grow steadier and more hurried.

“I’m not sure myself. But it’s the right thing to do,” Keith says. “I just have a feeling that you’re a part of something much bigger than either of us knows yet. I think if we get you out of here, it’ll be the start of something. And I’ve learned to trust my instincts, and so has Ulaz.”

“But…you’re Galra, aren’t you? Why would you help me?”

“Not all Galra are born alike. Not all of us are with the Empire, despite appearances,” Keith says, huffing out a breath.

“Sorry,” Shiro says. “I didn’t mean to offend.”

“It’s fine,” Keith says. “I wouldn’t trust the Galra either if I were in your position.”

They reach a crossroads of corridors, and Keith only barely has the time to hear and smell the sentries passing the crossing corridor before they make it in their line of sight, so preoccupied is he with other things. Heart in his throat, he pulls Shiro behind the pillars, clasping his hand on top of his mouth for good measure so Shiro won’t make any surprised sounds to give them away. It’s only when the sentries’ footsteps are far gone that Keith dares to breathe again and remove his hand from on top of Shiro’s mouth.

“Sorry,” he says, still quietly gasping for air.

“It’s fine,” Shiro says. “Actually, I think I can help with this. I’ve been keeping a track of the sentries’ movement patterns. I’ve managed to time it. I was planning to use it to help me escape.”

“You still can,” Keith says, giving him a smile. “It would help a lot actually.”

“You’re willing to trust me on this then?” Shiro asks.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Keith says.

Shiro blinks momentarily, as if in thought, but in the end, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, the two of them wait in silence for the next pair of sentries to pass, after which Shiro counts the pattern by gently tapping the finger of his metal arm to time their movements. As they prepare to move, Keith grabs a hold of Shiro’s flesh hand so they won’t get separated, guiding the two of them through the corridors as Shiro keeps telling him when and where to stop so they won’t be detected. Keith can’t help but think they work rather well together, and that Shiro’s warm, strong hand fits unbelievably well in his own.

They’ve almost made their way to the escape pods when Keith both feels and hears the tremors of the bomb Ulaz planted go off just as planned. He and Shiro are far enough for it to not affect them, but Keith speeds up his legs anyway. The bomb will be a good distraction, but it doesn’t mean they’re out of the woods yet.

“Come on,” Keith says. “We’ve gotta hurry.”

Shiro nods, and rushes forward alongside Keith. They’ve been mostly making their way out in silence, aside from occasional verbal warnings, but Shiro is apparently tired of that because he says, “Is your name really Keith?”

“It is. Why?”

“It just…it just reminds me of home,” Shiro says, and he looks and sounds so painfully sad as he says that that Keith wishes he had the time to hold and comfort him properly. “It doesn’t sound very Galra-like.”

“It’s not,” Keith admits. “My father was human. I was born on Earth, much like you.”

Keith hears Shiro gasp, feels the way it makes his body tremble in their joined hands. “Then how are you here?”

“My mother is Galra. She took me here,” Keith says, just as they finally make it to the door of the pod bay.

“We’re here,” Keith says, before moving to press his hand to the lock screen by the door to open it. Thankfully the Empire technology doesn’t differentiate between anyone with any sort of Galra blood or tech on them. It even accepts commands from part-Galras like Keith. The Empire’s biggest weakness, as always, is their arrogance. They never would imagine any of their own kind would turn against them.

“Come on, we have to get you out of here,” Keith says, dragging Shiro along and inside the pod bay.

“Wait!” Shiro says just as they step to the other side of the door and it closes in on them. For a moment, Keith thinks he’s heard or seen something that Keith missed, but all Shiro does is use their joined hands to drag Keith closer to him and pull him tight against his own body in an embrace. Like this, their size difference is all the easier to see and feel, and Shiro’s firmness against him makes Keith’s skin tingle and his insides squirm. Shiro really is a beautiful man, and despite his dirty garments and what must be phoebes of torment, he feels so alive and smells so wonderful. Keith would be honored to have him as his kindred soul, and as his true bonded lifemate, were the circumstances different. Shiro is so warm and strong, and yet his eyes are so gentle and soft as they look down upon at Keith. Keith doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him with such reverence, like he’s everything that matters to Shiro in this world. Keith lets himself hold him in return.

“Come with me,” Shiro pleads. “You can’t stay here. We can leave together. Who knows what they’ll do to you if they find you?”

Keith bites his lip. For a moment, he actually considers it, the Pull between the two of them, the Pull of kindred souls, sizzling inside of him. It would be the biggest relief for this inexplicable longing he feels for Shiro to leave with him, to perhaps spend the rest of his days with him and bond with him in time-honored fashion.

But both reason and duty win over relatively quickly, and Keith forces himself to put a little distance between them to look Shiro in the eyes and shake his head. “I can’t. I can’t leave my family to deal with this war alone. Besides, I came on this ship to do a job. I still need to finish it.” He makes himself smile a little up at Shiro, hoping it might instill some comfort and trust in him. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. And you must go now, before we’ll both be found.”

Shiro frowns, his eyes turning almost liquid in the soft way they gaze upon Keith. He reaches over to caress the side of Keith’s face with his flesh hand and stroke his cheek with his thumb. It’s firm and gentle at the same time, and Keith’s throat becomes tight with it, with how much he wants to be with this man. “Will I ever see you again?”

“I don’t know,” Keith admits, tears beginning to burn in his eyes. He doesn’t let them fall. “But I hope so.”

Shiro seems to take that as some sort of affirmation, because he begins to lean down. Keith meets him on the way, getting on his tiptoes and letting their lips meet in a soft, brief kiss. It sends tingles down Keith’s spine, his whole body coming alive in a way he never knew it could be with it. He could so easily be lost in this moment forever in Shiro’s arms, to make this all count and last, but he knows he can’t. They don’t have the time, and they must be sensible about this.

So, he forces himself to pull away, even with the knowledge that he’ll carry the memory of that brief touch within him for the rest of his days.  

“Go, now,” he says, pressing a hand on Shiro’s chest, and putting some distance between the two of them. “Be safe, and perhaps we’ll meet again.”

Shiro hesitates a moment longer, just looking at Keith as if to take him in. Finally, though, he seems to make up his mind with a nod, and slips away from Keith properly before hurrying along on his way to the escape pods. Keith watches him go for a while longer, until he can no longer see Shiro’s form in the darkness, before turning around to go into his own direction.

He still has his original mission to carry out, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my new beta-reader 2or3demons for the help with this :D.
> 
> Also I'm praying none of us and none of the characters die in the next 24 hours when Season 6 comes out :). (Truthfully I'm hyped.)

As Keith steps out of the pod bay into the empty corridor, he can still vaguely feel and hear the aftershocks of the bombs Ulaz set off. He can’t hear or smell anyone nearby. The bombs must’ve worked as a sufficient distraction, causing everyone available to go either deal with the damage or gather information on what happened. 

Keith can feel it in his core that Shiro has set off on his journey away from this place, further and further away from him with each passing tick. It’s a relief to know he’s on his way to safety, but this strange bond they share seems to tug at Keith’s heart the further away he goes. It’s like there is an invisible cord tying them together that is becoming more stretched and strained with every bit of distance placed between them. It’s more painful than just plain longing for and missing someone. This feeling is pinching and scorching Keith’s insides like curling flames. A part of him wishes he could just grab a vessel and chase after Shiro, or that he’d gone with him like he’d asked. Is finding this superweapon really worth all this pain? Is this war?

It’s this thought that seems to suddenly send some sort of flicker between Keith’s eyes, inside his very head. It appears before him like a mix of colors, images and sounds, unclear and yet seeming to speak directly into his mind. It all feels almost like an extension of Keith, of the way he sometimes just  _ knows  _ things, but it’s more. Usually he can only feel things, but this sensation adds the rest of his senses, expanding the way he is experiencing the world around him  through heightened senses, or through someone else’s eyes. Although it’s strange in its newness, it also feels as natural as breathing, like he’s just reaching further with what he’s had all along. 

Keith takes in a calming, albeit slightly shuddering, breath, processing all the images and the information he gets from this new projection; adds it to the knowledge he already possesses from the intel Ulaz provided. There are prison cells on this ship. Multiple ones. Shiro wasn’t the only one the Empire is keeping here, and not the only one who deserves to be rescued. There are other innocents who have either already suffered what Shiro has, or are going to very soon if they remain on this ship. Whether finding the superweapon is worth all of Keith’s pain or not doesn’t really matter; but helping these people might make it worth it, if he can save them too, like he saved Shiro. 

The ship’s personnel is distracted right now. This is his best chance. He has to take it. After all, he’s already gone against orders and put himself in more peril once on this mission, so what does a little more of the same matter?

Keith makes his mind up quickly, rechecks the intel about the ship for where the prison cells are located, and starts rushing in that direction. He makes sure to stop once in a while to listen for any movement, or to sniff the air for anyone who might still find him, but everything is silent in this part of the ship. All he runs into on the way are a few surveillance drones that he slices in half the moment he sees them. He proceeds forward silent, swift and sure, guided by the feeling of something akin to joy in his chest. Fulfillment, perhaps, of finally being able to do something concrete for the people involved in this war. It’s all Keith has ever really wanted to do.

He makes his way to the prison cells, and as expected, the doors there open for the touch of his hand like they did before. As the door slides open, Keith can see that there are a variety of different people from a multitude of other planets in the cells, huddling closer together in fear as they see him. It’s only upon seeing their frightened expressions, their tears and their trembling forms that he remembers a bit too late that perhaps he should’ve taken on his human shape for this particular part of the job. But there’s no time, and it would be a huge waste of energy in a situation like this anyway. 

“It’s okay,” he starts, doing his best imitation of the tone of voice his family uses to calm him when he’s upset. “I’m here to rescue you. You have nothing to fear.”

“You expect us to believe that?” an older-looking being with gray skin and big lips speaks up. “You’re one of them. What sort of a sick game are you playing with us this time?”

Keith sighs, taking in a calming breath as annoyance and frustration begin to crawl up his throat like acid. They really don’t have time for this. “Look, I’m not asking you to trust me. But I’m the only chance you might ever have to ever escape this ship. I’m risking a lot doing this, too. So take it or leave it. I’ll leave the door open. But you really should get moving. The guards might be back any moment.”

“Wait!” a mostly orange Ornllarian who seems to have lost one eye somewhere along the way calls out. Keith hasn’t met one of his kind since Slav was captured years ago. “Show the way. Please.”

“Kluv, what are you doing?” the older creature hisses, alarm seeping into his voice.

“I want to escape, Xi,” the Ornllarian -- Kluv -- says. “I don’t care if this is a trap or a ploy or anything the like. I at least want to try to get out of here. If I die in the process, at least I die without regrets, instead of always wondering what could’ve happened had I taken the chance. No fate can be worse than what we’ve already been through.”

Kluv slowly begins to make his way towards Keith on his multiple legs. Keith looks beyond him to the other prisoners, waiting. And, indeed, it doesn’t take long for most of them to begin to approach him as well. Only Xi and the Solskiner he’s holding, as if for protection, remain.

“Please,” Kluv says to them. “Come with us. We can’t in good conscience leave you behind.”

“What of the Champion?” Xi asks, and it comes out as almost a sigh with how worried and weary he sounds. “We mustn’t leave him here to rot.”

“He’s already gone,” Keith says. “I helped him escape before I came to find you. He’s on his way to safety.”

Xi looks at him then, his eyes wide with something akin to reverence and hope. Keith tries to put all his conviction into his gaze, wishing more than anything the old prisoner will believe him and come with them. Their time is running out.

Something in him seems to finally get to Xi, because he and the Solskiner rise and walk over to Keith and their comrades. Keith can’t help the relieved sigh that escapes him.

“Follow me, and be quiet. We need to get you to the escape pods,” he says, and begins to lead them back the way he came. To where he was before, with Shiro. 

Unfortunately, the way back doesn’t yield to them nearly as easily as it did to Keith while he was making his way to the cells. The prisoners aren’t in the best shape, most of them malnourished and a few of them are even injured, and having a hard time moving fast enough to keep up. Keith ends up carrying the slowest few of them, but their journey still takes far more time than he’d hoped. His heart rate is pounding in his ears the entire way to the pod bay, and it seems to be wedged in his very throat with how nervous he is. Keith’s never been scared like this on a mission before. He doesn’t want to let these people down. He wants to prove to them that he wasn’t lying when he said he would get them out. He’s really not sure if he could protect them all if they came across any guards. He prays silently in his mind the entire way that they won’t.

Perhaps there is some sort of higher power looking out for him after all, because aside from a few more drones, and despite the stress of the situation, their group makes it to the pod bay in no worse than the condition he found them in. Keith settles them into one of the more sizable escape pods that also has an automated flying system. Before exiting the pod, he uses his own coordinate copier to download in the location of the Blades’ bases for refugees, just in case.

“You don’t have to go, but you’ll be safe there.” he tells the group. “They can provide medical assistance until you’re well enough to go back home, should you need it. There are people there who will help you if you are willing to trust them.”

“What about you?” Kluv asks. “Shouldn’t you come along?”

“I have my own ship for that,” Keith smirks. “Besides, I still have something I need to do here.”

“Thank you for your help,” Kluv says. Xi still looks and smells skeptical, but he doesn’t say anything. “May we know your name before you go?”

“Keith,” he says, giving him a bit of an encouraging smile. “If you go to those coordinates, tell them Keith sent you.”

“Thank you, Keith,” Kluv says just before the pod closes and begins to lower away from the warship. Keith watches it go for a while longer before setting off on his way back down the corridor once more.

As soon as he makes it outside the pod bay, those extra heightened senses wash over him once more, but even stronger this time. Keith can almost make out a proper voice in the midst of the images and the sounds being projected into his mind like a bursting of a star. But now he also feels something more, like a tug in his core. It’s not much unlike the way he felt when he first saw Shiro, aside from the fact that he’s not actually seeing anyone right now.

Not to mention there are some core differences to this call from the one he feels when it comes to Shiro. With Shiro, everything was full of yearning and heat, like a compilation of all of Keith’s secret hopes and desires rolled into one being, with an almost desperate urge to be everything Shiro wanted and needed in return. This feeling is closer to what he feels around his family. It’s warm and safe, full of the warmth of cuddles, the comfort of purring and nuzzles; while at the same time feeling like a stimulation of that core part of him that always seems to guide him towards the right path even when he’s not quite sure where that path may lead. It’s compelling and powerful, and it feels ancient, wise and almost all-seeing to Keith. It calls him towards a certain direction like a siren song, inviting and full of intent. 

‘Who are you?’ Keith asks within the confines of his mind. He can tell this new presence is listening even if he doesn’t say the words out loud. ‘Where are you?’

He gets no straight answer, but the tug at his soul grows even stronger, pulling him in the right direction, as more images and colors flash over his eyes. Almost unwittingly, Keith finds his feet moving beneath him to wherever this presence is coming from. He barely even stops to consider it might be a trap. He seems to just  _ know  _ in his gut that it’s not, and that this is something he’s meant to do right now, something he  _ needs _ to do.

The presence in his mind guides his feet down the maze of corridors on the ship. He doesn’t even look at his map, barely even looks at where he is going. All he does is  _ feel _ , the calling of this mysterious voice growing stronger and stronger with each step Keith takes. It feels warm and inviting as it purrs in the caverns of his mind, and Keith proceeds unafraid through the empty ship, until he finally reaches a door. The purring becomes a thunderous rumble, pulling him forward and inside. The call is strong and gentle and Keith trusts it. He doesn’t even hesitate as he places his hand on the lock scanner by the door, causing it to open for him.

His first view through the door is limited, but Keith can immediately tell that the room he’s about to enter is huge. It might even be bigger than the hangar where he landed his cruiser when he arrived. He can just about see the glowing blue light of a particle barrier up ahead. The presence in his mind calls for him again, almost encouraging, beckoning him to step further inside. Keith steels himself, takes a calming breath and steps inside.

As soon as he’s walked a few paces into the room and can properly see it and what it holds, Keith’s breath catches in his chest with a mix of awe, and wonder, and a little bit of fear. Before him is what looks to be an enormous machine, built meticulously out of white, black and red metal, and it’s shaped like a large cat. She (the voice in his mind informs him she’s a she) stands on her four paws before him, shielded behind the round bubble of the particle barrier on all sides. Keith is absolutely miniscule in front of her, likely smaller than one of her glowing yellow eyes that he swears he can feel following him as he walks closer to the beast on trembling legs.

Ulaz’s words to Shiro and the tales he used to tell Keith as a kit come to mind; legends of the five great mechanical creatures – Lions –  each of them a different color, who could transform into one super being, the rumored greatest weapon the the universe had ever known. Voltron. Keith’s heard and read all about the unique bond each pilot – the Paladins – would have with the lion they flew; an almost psychic connection that can only be formed by the Lions’ acceptance, when they’ve deemed their Paladins worthy. 

The fact that Keith can apparently feel the Red Lion calling to him in his very mind makes his heart hammer in his chest, his breaths come out short, and his legs feel weak. A varga ago Voltron was just a story he was told as a kit, and now…

“Are…are you the one who called me here?” he speaks to the beast, keeping his tone respectful and soft, as if he’s talking to a higher ranking pack member. He can feel the Lion’s affirmation inside his mind. It resembles a mix of a nod and a purr. “Am I…am I meant to be your Paladin?”

The Lion lets out a growl, her eyes glowing all the brighter as she gently and delicately lowers her head down, as if in a sign of respect. Around where her mouth lands, parts of the particle barrier peel off, opening for Keith like a door. With the Red Lion calling him closer in his mind, he accepts the clearly given invitation and softly steps forward, joining the Red Lion inside the particle barrier. As soon as he’s close enough, she opens her own mouth for him, and Keith can see a lit path for him to walk and step inside.

“Do you want me to go in?” he asks softly. 

The Red Lion keeps purring, and Keith takes that as his cue. He softly places his foot around where the Lion’s lip is, and begins to climb his way up the path. With each step, she seems to purr louder and happier for him, and his steps become more and more steadfast with it rumbling in between his ears. His legs begin to return to him, and he pushes himself into a run, letting his nerves slip off and give way to excitement and thrill until his blood is almost thrumming. Keith can feel the Red Lion guiding him inside of his mind, telling him where to go and what to do. By the time he sits behind the control panels lighting up for him in the cockpit that is her head, he feels like he knows everything he needs to know about how to fly her.

“Good kitty,” he says, smiling and laughing to himself. He feels almost like he could burst with joy and pride from the honor he’s apparently been given. 

“Let’s roll,” he says, and almost instinctively pulls one of the levers to get Red to shoot a beam of fire from her mouth to open a pathway for the two of them to get off this ship. He might as well do as much damage on his way out as he can, quite clearly having more than accomplished what he came to do here. Not only did he find the weapon, he was able to  _ steal  _ the weapon and help innocent people escape their imprisonment from the Empire.

Keith can’t help the little howl of victory that escapes him as he flies away from the ship, that has been crippled by his blows and Ulaz’s bombs, behind him; setting the course for the Blade of Marmora’s outpost where he is to meet Ulaz.

…

Ulaz takes the news of Keith apparently being a Paladin of Voltron with the same calm stride he takes most things in life. 

“I always knew you would do great things with your life, kitling,” Ulaz says as Keith relays him the story of what he did once he and Ulaz parted ways over shared rations and closeness at the small outpost base. 

Ulaz gives Keith one of his small warm smiles and reaches to stroke the top of his head. “Now the world will merely know what I’ve known all along.”

Keith swallows around his mouthful of dried meat, before speaking, “You told Shiro to find the Blue Lion. You never mentioned anything about that to me, or even the possibility that Voltron is real.”

“We didn’t have the time for me to relay to you that information,” Ulaz says calmly. “I did tell you that I’d been thinking of letting him escape, however. The Blue Lion was the reason. I’ve heard increased whispers about the Empire looking for Voltron of late. The fact that the Red Lion has chosen a Paladin after all this time is no coincidence either. Voltron is about to return, of that I have no doubt.” He pauses. “And each story I’ve ever told you has at least a grain of truth to it. I have no idea how much the stories of the Paladins of old have been exaggerated, but Voltron itself has always been real.”

“How are you so certain?”

Ulaz looks down at him with softened eyes, and he soothes his hand over Keith’s hair. “Why do you think your mother went to Earth in the first place?”

Keith sucks in a sudden breath. “You mean…?”

“Your mother’s task was to deliver the Blue Lion there. We hoped it would remain safe and out of the Empire’s grasp there. In the end, she went and returned with something else,” he smiles in a playful way that would look a lot more familiar on Thace’s face. Keith wonders if it has become a habit for Ulaz to better deal with being apart from him for so long. Keith knows for certain that whenever any of his parents have been gone, he tends to find himself thinking of his Mom’s hugs, Thace’s jokes, Ulaz’s songs and Antok’s sparring tips more and more to cope with missing them, alongside the pictures he keeps. 

And suddenly, the thought hits him like a punch to the stomach. If Keith truly is a Paladin of Voltron now, this could be a mission to last his lifetime. He can’t know when he’ll next get to return to the Blade of Marmora headquarters, return  _ home _ , or even  _ see  _ his family next, if ever. Ulaz has been compromised but Thace is still deep undercover somewhere and Mom is off on her own mission that Keith’s not privy to the details of. Keith probably won’t even be able to say goodbye. He can already feel it in his bones that very soon he’ll be going away for a long time, to do whatever his new mission in life requires of him.

Keith knows this is what it truly means to be a Blade – he needs to be able to sacrifice everything, even his family, for the good of the mission. And right now, the best he can do for the mission is to be a Paladin. That must be his first priority. It doesn’t make the thought any lighter to bear though. Keith can already feel his throat closing up and his eyes burning, barely able to breathe under the crushing weight of it all. He takes a few shuddering breaths and burrows himself deeper into Ulaz’s side for comfort and safety, the way he’s been doing since he was a kit any time he was sad.

And as always, Ulaz understands, even without Keith having to say anything. He wraps his arms tighter around him in an embrace, gently stroking down Keith’s head and his braid. “It’ll be alright, kitling.  _ You’ll  _ be alright. I know you’ll make an amazing Paladin.”

“Will you tell Mom and everyone else when you see them again?” Keith murmurs into Ulaz’s chest, clutching at him for dear life and trying to memorize the way he feels and smells before it’s too late. This may well be the last time he ever gets to hug a parent like this. He can’t keep relying on his pack’s protection and coddling anymore. It’s time for him to really grow up now and learn to fend for himself. That’s the only way he’s ever going to show his family and the rest of the world what he’s capable of, what he can really do to help.

Keith had always thought he’d be happy when he was finally given the opportunity to work as a full-fledged member of the Blade, to be respected as an adult by the people who have seen him grow up from a kit that could barely walk and talk. He thought that he’d like to properly be able to make a difference in the world and work against the Empire’s reign. It’s only now hitting him that it hasn’t just been his family sheltering him that has been holding him back – it’s been Keith himself, too. He’s been allowing their protection to go on for too long, letting them treat him like a kit, letting himself fall back into old habits of staying comfortable and guarded, unconscious as it may have been. He could’ve rebelled before, in more real ways. He could’ve made something of himself, but he was too afraid of their disapproval to do so. All he could bring himself to do was complain and grow frustrated, both with himself and with everyone around him. He’s taken more risks today than he probably has in his whole life.

Once Keith leaves this outpost, he’ll no longer have the luxury of playing it safe, or even being safe, and he’ll need to accept that. He needs to join the fight for real and leave his childhood behind. He’s a Paladin now. He can feel inside his mind that Red is waiting for something. He can feel it in his gut too. Things are moving along with or without him. Soon it’ll be time for him to go and join the fight.

But right now, he can still remain a kit for a bit longer. Just a little while longer, before he has to leave.

“Of course I will,” Ulaz says gently, and Keith lets himself slip down to rest across his lap as Ulaz smooths down his hair. “Sleep for now, kitling. Changes are afoot, and morning will come soon. I’ll rest here with you until then.”

Keith nods softly against Ulaz’s leg, hiding his tears in the material of his pants. He lets his eyes fall shut as Ulaz begins to softly sing to him the same songs he used to sing when Keith was small and couldn’t sleep. Keith clutches the fabric of Ulaz’s clothes in his fists and fights another wave of tears. As a small kit, he’d found Ulaz too stiff and serious, and had preferred Thace or his Mom for company, but the past few deca-phoebes he’s come to rely on him more and more, with Mom and Thace being gone so much. He’s only perhaps now beginning to realize that no matter how busy Ulaz ever was as the Blades’ physician, he always made time for Keith, even when Keith had been young. He’d always been ready to answer all of Keith’s questions to the best of his ability, and always told him a story or sang him a song before he fell asleep. That was always their common thing – stories and songs, and Keith still thinks Ulaz is the best he’s ever met at both. 

Keith takes a shuddering, calming breath and focuses on just listening to Ulaz’s voice and the song he’s singing. It can’t make everything better anymore like it used to, but it helps to know he’s not alone here, and that he’s loved. It helps make the weight of his new life a little lighter in this moment, enough for Ulaz’s voice to chase away the shadows of sadness clouding Keith’s mind, and guide him to the land of dreams.

…

Keith awakens some time later to Red talking to him in his mind again, projecting images and feelings as she tells him the remaining pieces are on the move, and that they need to get going soon. They’re needed, and their new life, their new destiny, awaits them. 

“I’m coming,” he murmurs softly, raising his head up from his pillow. At some point while he slept, Ulaz apparently moved the two of them into one of the round nest beds set in the floor of the base. Keith can hear and smell Ulaz sleeping in the same space, not too far away, and it’s not unlike the way Keith used to sleep with at least one parent when he was young. It’s nostalgic, if a little embarrassing. Keith may still welcome cuddle piles from his family like most Galra, but he’s a little over sleeping in the same bed with them by now.

“Ulaz,” Keith says, laying a hand on his shoulder and feeling him stir beneath his touch. “Red is calling to me. I have to go.”

Ulaz sits up, graceful as ever despite being forced awake so suddenly, and reaches to rub the top of Keith’s head again. “So you must,” he says, his voice hoarse and grave, and the smile he gives Keith sad and proud. “But be on your guard. You cannot know who the other Paladins are, or their intentions, but I think you should assume they’re hostile to the Empire. Therefore, they might be hostile to Galra in general.” Keith blinks. He hadn’t even had time to think that far. “We can’t blame them for that of course, given all that the Empire has done. They won’t know the Blade is different. They won’t know of our people at all.” Ulaz sighs. “That’s why I think you should appear to them in your other form, just to be safe.”

Keith swallows, his heart leaping into his throat and choking him there. He doesn’t want to hide. He and the other Paladins are meant to be a team. They need to trust each other, and the way to do that isn’t by lying to them. But he can also see Ulaz’s point. If the other Paladins think Keith in league with the Empire because of his Galra blood, they might try to take Red away from him. No, not just that. They might imprison him, even torture or hurt him if they’re so inclined. There’s no way Keith could know. He doesn’t know them from Arkhalon, just like they won’t know him. He hasn’t even met them yet. And if there is one thing being a Blade teaches you, it is that it’s best to err on the side of caution.

Keith bites his lip, and doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just lets his actions speak for themselves as he closes his eyes and begins to concentrate and hone in on the feeling of quintessence at his very core. He lights it up inside of him like a flame, letting it sizzle and reach up all the way to his skin, licking and burning away the normal purple shade of it with its heat. His skin begins to grow lighter and lighter with each passing tick until it reaches the pale earthy tone that Keith inherited from his blood father. All that remains to speak of his mother’s blood in this form are his violet eyes and the striped purple birthmark beginning at his right cheek and ending at the back of his neck. 

The skin isn’t the only thing that changes about him either. Keith can feel his claws tingling, almost itching, as they grow even softer and shorter than they already are and settle into something weaker and more vulnerable than even that of a Galra kit. His ears grow warm as they begin to lose their regular sharp edges, shrinking down into the strange round and small shape Keith has also seen on the two humans he’s so far gotten to meet in his life.

His quintessence slowly begins to cool down as the transformation finishes and fizzles out. Keith takes a deep breath and opens his eyes from his near meditative state, wiping at the sweat that has gathered at his brow with his hand. There is a reason he doesn’t change forms very often, and it’s not just because he wants to be able to fit in as much as he can with his pack. It’s just a waste of energy and resources, too taxing on his body for not much reward.

“Here,” Ulaz says, handing him a ration packet and a juice pouch. “You must regain your strength before you go.”

Keith doesn’t need to be told twice, eagerly tucks into his modest meal. He’s always hungry after his transformation, and he likely has a long day of flying ahead of him. He won’t able to sleep more right now or possibly for a while, so he should at least refuel a little while he can.

“Listen now, because I can only tell you this once before you go,” Ulaz says as Keith begins to finish up his meal. “Be cautious with your new team, but do your best to work with them, too. You’ll likely need to lie at least some, so remember what I’ve taught you: best lies are always founded in truth. So speak the truth whenever you can, especially since we both know you are not the best liar.” Keith can’t help the snort that escapes him. It’s been difficult learning how to lie when Kolivan could always see right through him with one glance when he so much as tried. “Don’t answer when you can. Remember your training. You’re a great pilot, Keith, and quick on your feet. If you can keep a calm head, you’ll work well as Voltron’s right hand, and as the main support to the leader.”

Keith can only nod, because he’s been taught not to speak with his mouth full, and quickly swallows the rest of his meager meal. Red’s calls are growing stronger,more eager and impatient by the dobosh. He finds himself on his feet almost without thinking about it, the urge to go to her pressing and powerful. 

“Wait,” Ulaz says, picking up what looks to be the stack of Keith’s casual clothes that he carries with him on missions in case he needs to blend in, as well as his Blade armor, from the floor next to the nest bed. “I took the liberty of getting your clothes from your previous vessel and your Blade armor from my quarters at the ship. You cannot go to your fellow Paladins dressed like a medical officer for the Empire.”

“Of course. Thank you.” Keith says, reaching to take the clothes into his arms, the weight of them familiar. “I’ll change in Red on the way.”

Ulaz nods slowly, looking down at Keith with a soft expression. His golden eyes seem to grow a little darker in color as his expression twists into a frown. Before Keith can blink, Ulaz has pulled him close against his chest one last time, bending down so he can properly hold Keith.

“Be safe, my kitling, my  _ silizk _ ,” Ulaz murmurs into Keith’s ear, sounding more choked up than Keith thinks he’s ever heard him. 

“I will,” Keith says, squeezing Ulaz back. “You be safe as well.”

Ulaz gives him one last tighter squeeze, before letting him go. Keith can’t stay much longer, and he can’t think of anything more to say, so he heads out to climb into Red, only briefly turning to look over his shoulder as he goes.

He thinks this is the first time he’s seen Ulaz cry since they lost Zanva. Keith bites his lip to keep his own tears at bay. This is not the time for that. Today he must be brave and strong.

Today is the day that Keith grows up.

…

Red seems to know where the two of them need to go, so Keith lets her guide them through space. She can even fly by herself occasionally, so Keith takes that opportunity to change his outfit. There is also more than enough room inside of the Red Lion for him to comfortably hide his Blade armor and even the medical clothes just in case, should he ever need them again. It’s not like anyone can come looking for them from inside Red, so they’ll be safe there. 

It becomes clear in a few vargas that they’re heading towards the planet Arus. Keith has flown past it a few times on his supply runs for the Blade, though he’s never landed upon its surface. It’s a vibrant and colorful planet full of greenery and plant life. Its people are peaceful and set in their ways, untouched so far by the Empire as they are. What catches Keith’s attention though as Red compels him to land is the beautiful castle atop a mountain that doesn’t look Arusian in the very least, though Keith is no expert in foreign architecture. It seems to be where Red is headed as well. 

As he nears the ground, Keith can see the small shapes of people rushing out to the courtyard of the castle, right where he’s about to land. He counts six of them, most likely around his own size, but he can’t make out many defining features yet aside from the multitude of colors in their hair and clothes, as well as vague shapes. He can tell they’re looking up at him and Red and pointing at them in shock.

“Are these the other Paladins?” Keith asks Red. She purrs in affirmation in his mind. “Let’s get this over with then.” He settles her down gently on the ground, and she lets him know that she’s opened her mouth to let him out to meet them. “Good girl. See you later. I guess I need to go greet my new team.”

Keith takes a single steadying breath, before standing up from the pilot’s seat and walking towards the exit of the Red Lion. Before he’s even properly out of her mouth, he can see the faces of the other Paladins peeking inside with curiosity, waiting for him to come out. Keith can see three so far, each of a different shape and size and skin color, but appearing to indeed be both around Keith’s own height as well as his age. They all look…human. 

He holds his hands up to show he means no harm to any of them as he steps properly out of Red’s mouth and into the yard.

“My name is Keith,” he says. “The Red Lion has chosen me as her Paladin. She led me here.”

Keith can hear several gasps from around him, but one in particular catches his attention. Not only that, but he quickly begins to feel that increasingly familiar Pull in his very core calling him to come closer, to touch and to kiss once more, until the two of them are joined properly as the rightful lifemates they are meant to be.

Keith looks up, and indeed, there he is, right across him on the yard, eyes wide with shock and changed out of his prison garbs.

Shiro.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. Season 6 left me a mess (holy shit guys!!!) and I needed some time to deal with my emotions, and then my beta and I had some scheduling conflicts so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. But 2or3demons did a really great job with making this chapter shine even brighter, so thanks a lot for that!!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!

For a while, as he stands in the midst of the other Paladins, Keith feels completely rooted in place, frozen with the massive wave of mixed emotions that seems to almost choke him. His whole body trembles as he looks at Shiro, their eyes meeting from across the courtyard. For a moment, everything and everyone else around the two of them seems to fade away and he’s all Keith can see.

Shiro looks wonderful, wearing much more personalized clothes and not being so plagued by fear and drugs as he was on Sendak’s warship. It’s breathtaking to see what a difference even a few quintants of freedom can make. Shiro’s even more beautiful in Keith’s eyes now. The natural sunlight of Arus makes his eyes shine bright and turns his sculpted cheeks pink in a stark contrast to how the lights of the Warship made his eyes appear sunken and his cheeks pale and gaunt. Keith absolutely can’t tear his eyes away from Shiro. It feels like Shiro has cast some sort of spell on him that prevents him from moving. Keith doesn’t even want to fight it.

Thankfully, Shiro doesn’t seem to mind because he meets Keith’s gaze head-on, and he has that same look of liquid reverence he had just before he kissed Keith. The thought of that kiss and the look Shiro levels him makes his mouth go dry, and he has to swallow and lick his lips to move past that feeling. Shiro’s cheeks seem to grow even warmer as he does, following the movement with his eyes, and Keith can’t help but smile at that.

The look on Shiro’s face, their sudden but welcome reunion, and the stress of the past few quintants seem to make the Pull between the two of them even stronger in Keith. The chord between them is very alive, the harsh tension in it feels like it’s just about to snap and drag Keith over to Shiro once more, to hold him and kiss him again, and Keith could almost cry with the weight of all of it. Shiro’s here. He’s _here_ . Keith won’t be alone after all. He’ll have someone he knows he can trust, who will vouch for him if needed. He can be with Shiro. _Shiro. Shiro. Shiro_.

Keith’s just about to take his first steps forward to go to him, when an elegant, light voice lilted with a soft accent catches his attention and stops him. “How did _you_ find the Red Lion? Where was it?”

The voice is enough to snap Keith back into the full attention of his surroundings, internally scolding himself for letting his sharpness slip so far as he quickly turns to look at the woman who had spoken. She’s standing on Shiro’s right side a small distance off from him with an older man with orange hair and a curling moustache, but with a kind enough face. The woman is beautiful in a very striking way, her skin dark brown and her hair white, long and fluffy like a cloud.

At first glance the pair of them look almost human like the rest of the people on this yard, but Keith isn’t fooled. Even without their differing smells, he can see the markings on their cheeks and the pointedness of their ears that set them apart from the others. And that’s even without mentioning the vibrations he gets from the woman’s very specific and strange quintessence. They speak of ancient powers long thought to be gone, the likes of which Ulaz used to tell him stories about. Although Keith’s careful not to show let it show on his face, he can’t help the fact that it throws him off slightly to be in the presence of someone with such capacities. It makes him immediately wary and respectful of her, even without the general regal air she carries around her.

“Yes!” the older man says, his voice lower than hers but squeaky and also laced with a similar accent. “We’ve been trying to locate it but haven’t been successful! Where have you been?”

Keith licks his lips again, this time in thought, considers his words and answers and decides to stick as close to the truth as he can. As he opens his mouth, Keith turns to glance over at Shiro again, trying to draw some comfort from his presence, his support. “The Empire had her. I found her on one of their warships. That’s where she accepted me as her Paladin.”

He expects Shiro to say something, anything, to that. After all, he should be smart enough to figure out what Keith’s original mission had been from that. To have an idea of what Keith  was doing on Sendak’s ship before he found Shiro. He expects Shiro to ask him about it, to perhaps confirm his story to the others, or maybe even express pride or joy that Keith is now the Red Paladin and that they’ll be on the same team. Perhaps, like Keith, he’s relieved that at least one team member won’t be a complete stranger but someone who has already watched his back once and helped him out of a tough situation. Someone he can trust to do the same in the future.

But Shiro says nothing. Instead, it’s the other humans who open up their floodgates of questions and confusion for him to wade through.

“What the heck were you doing on a Galra ship?” the human of about Keith’s height with short brown hair says, before suddenly crowding in on Keith’s space and looking him up and down in clear disbelief. He smells irritated and suspicious, which mixes strangely with the overarching human smell of the majority of the group.

Keith chooses to ignore him, turning his gaze away to look at Shiro instead, still waiting for any sort of reaction. Keith’s lived his whole life amongst much taller beings who also had a tendency to underestimate him and thought he couldn’t do his job right for one reason or another. He’s gotten pretty good at letting their remarks brush off his back.

Shiro’s still just staring at him though. The wonder in his eyes remains present, but he still says nothing.

“Did you see anyone there? Anyone who wasn’t Galra?” the smallest human asks, her big light brown eyes wild and hopeful behind her glasses, almost desperate. Keith recognizes that look easily. It’s the look of someone wanting to hear news, any news of loved ones who have been locked away by the Empire in some way. He softens his face a little as he looks down at her, trying to convey a little bit of sympathy for her blight. He knows better than most what it is like to not know where your loved ones are or if you’re ever going to see them again. What it’s like to lose them.

“How did you manage to get out of there?” the robust human asks, his face twisted in worry and hunching in on himself. He’s a nervous one, Keith can tell, already hoping and calculating for the fastest way out of this whole situation. Aside from Shiro, he’s the biggest one present, but also the most frightened, clearly just having been thrown into the role of a Paladin without being asked. It makes Keith wonder what happened to these humans and how they ended up here, so far away from their home, as the new Paladins of Voltron. How _Shiro_ ended up back here. Right now though, all Keith can do is hope that this particular human will get over his fears soon and will be able to work together with the rest of the team.

Keith turns to look at Shiro again, his stomach beginning to churn with nerves, excitement and something else he can’t quite name. Shiro still hasn’t said anything. He just keeps staring at Keith. Is it really that much of a shock to see him again? Or perhaps Keith looking more human is throwing him off? Maybe he just has so many questions he’s not sure where to start. Maybe he’s just frozen with emotion like Keith had been earlier. And Keith can’t blame him for that, eager as he is to actually reunite with Shiro properly and to talk to him.

Finally, Shiro purses his lips before opening them to speak. Keith holds his breath. But all Shiro says is, “Can you tell us more?”

Keith blinks. He’s not sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. Shiro sounds so detached, so level-headed and calm as he speaks. It’s almost as if he holds no special interest in the situation at all and just simply wants to know the details. He’s wiped all emotion from his face as well, taking on a strategic blank mask that reminds Keith a little of Kolivan. Even the question itself and the way it’s presented is not unlike something Kolivan would ask to get more information out of someone. The question is kept intentionally light enough to not let the potential threat know they’re being assessed, but at the same time hoping to gain knowledge.

If Shiro were anyone else, Keith would respect him for his actions in this situation. Even now, he can’t help but admire the way Shiro stands tall and sure before him and everyone else, marking him as a leader amongst his people, assessing the situation and the potential danger to his forces while also commanding respect and admiration.

(If Shiro isn’t the Black Paladin and the Leader of Voltron, Keith swears he’ll eat his knife.)

But Shiro is not just anyone and Keith isn’t a mere stranger to him or a threat either. Whether it be the Pull or something else, he knows he and Shiro shared something on Sendak’s warship that can’t just be brushed aside. He trusted Shiro then. He thought Shiro had come to trust him in return. So why is Shiro treating him like someone who is potentially unsafe all of a sudden?

He can’t tell what Shiro’s feeling either, because there is just too much of it for Keith to pick up by scent. So Keith does the only thing he can do, and takes a few calming breaths as he assess his words and the situation. He’s not going to lie, not to Shiro or even to his new team. Lying has never been his forte and he doesn’t much like it either, straightforward and direct as he is. But he must still be careful with how much actually reveals to these people right now. The Blade of Marmora has remained a secret for centuries, and though Keith may trust Shiro, he can’t be sure he can trust everyone else here. Until he knows more or he and Shiro have a chance to speak in private, Keith must be careful with how much he reveals.

The best lies are always composed of mostly truth.

Keith takes in another breath, thinks of the vaguest way he can put his situation, before speaking.

“I’m a part of a resistance fighting against the Empire,” Keith speaks, keeping his words concise and steady. “We received intel that some type of a superweapon was being kept on an Empire transport vessel. I was sent to investigate and possibly destroy it. That weapon was Red.”

Shiro blinks, a thoughtful look taking over his handsome face, but there is a bit of that old and growingly familiar wonder shining in his eyes too. It gives Keith some hope, but he doesn’t dare say anything more as Shiro contemplates his words. Since no one else says anything either, Keith assumes they, too, are waiting on to see what Shiro will do or say. They already rely on him like a leader, possibly because Shiro seems to be the oldest human present and already has some experience with the Galra that the others likely lack. Keith only hopes Shiro’s word will be enough for them to trust him, too.

Slowly, after a few moments, Shiro’s lips twist into a small smile and he offers Keith his right hand, the one the Empire gave to him. Keith wonders if it’s meant to be a code of some sort, a secret between the two of them.

“And she chose you as her Paladin,” Shiro says, his dark eyes inviting and gentle, his voice reassuring and welcoming. “I guess that means we’re a team now.”

Keith returns Shiro’s smile, letting out a small silent breath of relief. This seems more like the Shiro he met before. Keith finally manages to make his way over to him in a few quick strides, taking a hold of his forearm with his hand as a gesture of greeting and goodwill. It’s more formal than the embrace he was hoping for, but he supposes it’s better than nothing at all. “It’ll be my joy and honor, I’m sure.”

Shiro’s cheeks seem to turn a bit pink at that again, his eyes wide and surprised. It makes Keith smile a little wider, his quintessence singing from finally being this close to Shiro again, even if he isn’t touching Shiro’s actual flesh. For a moment, everything seems to fade away to the background again as he looks Shiro deep in the eyes.

It only lasts a tick this time though, before Shiro blinks and clears his throat, breaking the spell. Afterwards, once he’s let go of Keith’s forearm, he gestures behind Keith with his left hand, smiling at him in an encouraging manner. “Why don’t all of you introduce yourselves? We’ll all have to learn how to work together to defeat Zarkon, after all.”

The three other humans seem to share a few meaningful looks amongst themselves, though Keith would be pressed to say what exactly they’re communicating to one another. He’s not that familiar with human body language and he can’t quite read their smells either, unfamiliar as he is with the human tones of it. He can tell they’re suspicious of him still, but that’s about it.

Eventually, the lanky human close to Keith’s height says, “Fine,” throwing his hands up in surrender and breathing out through his mouth, as if a mere introduction seems like a huge chore to him. He straightens up quickly though, his expression brightening as he takes on a more confident stance, pointing at himself with his thumb. “I’m Lance, and I’m the one who found the Blue Lion on Earth and brought us all here on her, since I’m also her Paladin.”

“You didn’t find her,” the smallest one says, her tone dry and weary, as if she’s heard this kind of talk so many times she’s growing tired of it by now. “You barely did anything until we were already in that cave. You just happened to wake her up, and then you almost got us killed with how badly you were flying her.” Keith smiles a little. He has a feeling he’s going to get along with this one just fine. At least she seems to have a quick wit and fierce spirit. “Hi. I’m Pidge, and I fly the Green Lion.”

“Uh, hi,” the big guy says, waving his hand just a little in greeting. “I’m Hunk, and I’m the Yellow Paladin, I guess?”

“You guess?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I mean, he chose me, I think, but I’m not actually really a pilot per se, and I honestly have no idea what I’m doing here or if I even wanna be here or…” Keith was correct in his assumptions then. Nervous, this one. He swallows a sigh. This could turn out very badly for all of them. “But you know…well, uh, hi?”

Keith manages a bit of a wave back, before turning towards the elegant lady, who nods in understanding. “I am Princess Allura of the Planet Altea, and this is my Castle.”

Keith thinks the older man beside her tries to say something as well, possibly his name, but he’s too busy being shocked to the bone to listen. “What?” he lets out. “You can’t be. Altea was destroyed thousands of deca-phoebes ago!” But despite that and his words and confusion, Keith finds he doesn’t doubt her words. It would explain the power he can feel inside of her.

“Coran and I were put into cryopods and were just awoken from a very long, frozen sleep when the Blue Lion arrived,” she says. “But, the fact that you know this must mean you’re not from Earth like the other Paladins, since they had no knowledge of any life outside of their own planet. Not to mention if you truly work with a resistance.”

“He looks human though,” the one called Hunk says, sounding slightly nervous again, hunching in on himself, as if in fright of what Keith could possibly be.

“Yeah, besides that weird purple mark on his cheek and neck,” Pidge points out. Her eyes seem to roam his face, and it makes his mark itch with her stare. He covers it with his hand, hoping it might make her stop.

“I thought that that was just a weird scar,” Lance says. “And he said his name is Keith, right? Isn’t that a human name? Doesn’t sound very alien to me...”

“I would appreciate it,” Keith says, voice low and just managing to avoid growling at them as he takes a breath to calm himself. “If you didn’t talk about me like I’m not even here.”

“He’s right, guys,” Shiro says, and steps a bit closer to Keith, as if to show his support. From anyone else, it would perhaps be unwelcome and feel condescending, but Keith appreciates it from Shiro, especially in this situation. These other humans seem to listen to him and trust him, even if they’re suspicious of Keith. Shiro may be his sole ally here for the moment, and Keith will need to depend on him to help him cross the starpath to them.

Besides, unlike when his family gets overprotective, when Shiro is gentle and supportive with him, it only seems to make Keith feel warm all the way on the inside. Having Shiro’s offered approval and security sends Keith’s quintessence singing, and he can’t help but look at him over his shoulder in gratitude. Now that Keith has actually seen and met more than one human and has been able to compare them to Shiro, he thinks it’s safe to guess Shiro may be an anomaly and bigger than most humans. He’s clearly strong and capable, but also smart, level-headed and respectful. All these features make him even more attractive to Keith than before, and he can only hope Shiro may feel the same way about him, kindred souls or the Pull be damned.

“He’s not a pet or something, he’s our teammate,” Shiro continues. “We should all try to show each other respect for the sake of the team, and that includes Keith.”

Keith smiles at Shiro over his shoulder momentarily, before turning to address the rest of them again, “My blood father was human. I was also born on Earth. Me and my mother left it when he passed away. I don’t remember much about it, but that’s how I got my name.”

The three other Paladins have the grace to look abashed. Keith fights any thoughts of hopelessness he gets when he looks at them. They’re mere children by the looks of it, likely even younger than Keith himself is. It’s not so much their age that bothers him though. It’s the fact that they’re clearly so unprepared for any of this. Keith may not be that much older than them, but he’s been training to become a Blade since he was five deca-phoebes old. He knows all about the terrors of the Empire, what they’re capable of, and how difficult defeating them will be. He knows about the planets and the people they’ve colonized and destroyed. He’s been raised to fight against them. These humans were clearly just thrown into this situation completely unknowing of anything relating to the Empire or how to fight it. The thought of it makes Keith frightened, frustrated and saddened, all at the same time, to know that the fate of the universe rests on the shoulders of these human kits.

“Sorry about your Dad, man,” Hunk says, offering Keith a small smile.

“It was a long time ago. I barely even remember him,” Keith offers flatly, crossing his arms at his chest, and he hopes they’ll leave it at that.

Perhaps Shiro senses his discomfort, because he steps into Keith’s line of sight and offers him a comforting smile, like a distraction.

“I forgot to introduce myself too,” he says, still wearing that kind smile, seeming to be completely unaware of the confusion his words rouse in Keith. “I’m Shiro, and I’m told that I’m supposed to be the Black Paladin.”

His words seem to freeze Keith’s blood in his veins with the shock they cause. It’s almost like Keith is back in the moment when he first arrived, but without the warm spark of joy of seeing Shiro again. Everything feels frozen in place, like reality has opened an airlock and sucked him out into the cold, unforgiving, vacuum of space. Keith’s whole body grows stiff with it. He can’t breathe, he can’t move, he can’t think. All he can do is stare at Shiro and his gentle, beautiful, dark eyes. His strange words echo in Keith’s head like some sort of cruel taunt. Did Shiro introduce himself just because everyone else had? That has to be it, right? There’s no way that Shiro would not, does not…

“Yes, that’s right!” Princess Allura gasps, but Keith can barely hear her. It sounds like her voice is coming from somewhere really far away, muffled by his screaming thoughts. “Now that all the Lions are here, we should be able to free the Black Lion as well. There’s no time to waste. Sendak could be here at any moment.”

“You’re right, Princess,” Shiro says, as if he just hadn’t shattered all of Keith’s hopes. “What do we need to do?”

“Keith must fly his Lion to the hangar with the other Lions, where the Black Lion also awaits. Hopefully it’ll awaken then, and accept you as its Paladin, Shiro.” Princess Allura says.

“Before that, however, I do think we ought to get you all some armor and weapons,” the older Altean man – _What was his name again? Coran?_ – adds.

Keith can still only barely breathe, but he follows numbly anyway when Shiro and the others leave to don their armor. There is nothing else he can do right now, anyway. He might as well do the duty that he came here to do, and support Shiro as best he can from his role as the Red Paladin. He can worry about everything else later.

…

The Paladin armor is color-coded and bulkier than what Keith is used to. The Blade armor is designed to protect its agents’ identities and be as light and effortless to move in as possible while helping its wearer blend into the shadows of space with its dark tones and form-fitted design. The Paladin armor is clearly designed for the exact opposite purpose; it’s meant to draw attention with its bright colors and contrast, to let everyone know the people who wear these pieces are the Paladins of Voltron and deserving of attention and respect. The Paladins are not meant to blend into the shadows and work in silence; they are meant to be in the spotlight and rush head-first into the fray. They are the warriors of old tales, the knights of glory; fearless, righteous and unstoppable. They are the Defenders of the Universe.

It might take some time to get used to the new armor, but Keith likes it. He’s always preferred wearing bright colors to the muted darkness of his Blade suit. Now he gets to wear the colors every day if he so chooses. The thought of that is a nice distraction from his earlier, still somewhat ongoing internal struggle that he’s doing his best to ignore for the moment.

Everyone else seems to like the new armor too. Shiro looks particularly glorious in his, the armor accentuating his natural attractive lines and strong muscles. He looks as though he was born to wear it, born to lead Voltron. There is no doubt in Keith’s mind this is the higher purpose he could feel Shiro would have, and he can’t help the surge of pride that goes through him. He might still get scolded if he ever gets to see his family again for going against orders, but Keith knows he did the right thing when he listened to his instincts and saved Shiro. Now more than ever he must keep trusting those instincts. It might help save all of them one day.

Even though, right now, Keith has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to do or say.

Shiro seems to feel Keith’s gaze on him, because he turns to meet his eyes. He doesn’t seem displeased by the attention, just slightly confused as far as Keith can tell by his questioning blinks. Keith offers no words either, only a small smile. It’s not the time for him to confront Shiro about what he may or may not remember, as much as he may want to. There are more pressing matters at the moment, and that’s a conversation better had in private anyway. Thankfully, if there is one thing Keith has learned as a Blade, it’s how to set aside his feeling to be dealt with at a more appropriate time.

Keith’s bayard, his main weapon as a Paladin, takes the form of a red sword as he takes it in hand, which doesn’t come as a surprise for him. As a Blade, Keith has been trained in the use of multiple weapons, as well as how to turn his own body into a weapon if he has nothing else at hand, but he’s always excelled and felt the most comfortable with swords and knives. His mother tended to say it was a sure sign he was born to be a Blade.

“Shiro, I’m afraid your bayard was lost with its Paladin,” Princess Allura says. Keith frowns at her words. As a Galra working specifically towards taking down the Empire, he knows the legend of Voltron very well, even with some of the details having been lost over time. But he knows who the original Black Paladin was. He’s not sure if he agrees with her evident idea of keeping that piece of information private or not, but for the moment he can understand why she’s doing it. He doubts Shiro would enjoy that particular reminder of how he’s still tied to the Empire, and every tick counts right now. They can’t afford for their leader to falter. Keith can always tell him later when they’ve made it through their first battle. He can just add it to the list of things he and Shiro need to talk about.

After suiting up and acquiring their weapons, Keith returns to the courtyard to retrieve Red, letting the Princess guide their flight to the Lions’ hangar through the communicator in his new helmet. By the time he lands in the right place, the other Lions aside from the Black one are already waiting, and Keith can tell through his connection with Red that they hold their Paladins inside as well. Meanwhile, Shiro waits on the ground before the grand door hiding the last Lion to see if it will accept him as its Paladin. Keith isn’t worried though. He’s only known Shiro for, all together, a few vargas, but he can already tell he was born for this path.

The Black Lion clearly agrees as well, because as soon as the enormous door glides up and reveals the Lion to Shiro and Shiro to the Lion, the Lion’s eyes flash a brilliant gold and it lets out a huge, ground-shaking roar, calling both its new Paladin and the other Lions into attention and loyalty. It has accepted Shiro.

After that, Keith doesn’t have the time to even think, let alone take in the pride he feels for Shiro, because Sendak’s fleet of ships attacks the Castle at full force. Everything around him, all that he does, merely becomes a heated chase for survival. Trying to avoid attacks while taking down as many Galra cruisers as possible; on top of trying to stay with the group and attempting to form Voltron. Nothing seems to be working though, and Keith can tell they’re all just buying time with what they’re doing.

He’s also quickly learning that despite all of his training, no matter how prepared he may have thought he was…nothing could’ve readied him for an actual outmatched battle like this. Not even the Trials of Marmora were this brutal. At least with that there was always the possibility of surrender and some kind of an end point, and at least then Keith was only responsible for himself.

Knowledge or death indeed. It’s never felt more real to him than this moment.

Keith hates to admit it, but he’s scared. He always thought he’d be ready to die for the mission like any Blade worth his moondust, but staring Death so closely in the face now comes as a shock to him. He’s also disappointed, in himself, in the situation. He and his fellow Paladins don’t hold a candle to the Paladins of the Legend, and Keith can’t help but wonder what his family would say if they saw him now. Perhaps they were right to not trust him with anything bigger than sleuth. Maybe even that was too good for him. He should’ve just stuck it out as a transport pilot.

It feels like the end. Sendak has them in his hold, the Castle’s shields are down. These might well be Keith’s last moments. He worries that he and the other Paladins will suffer the same fate Shiro did at the hands of the Empire. Maybe they’ll be shown the relative mercy of being killed early. But Keith knows that no matter what, if they’re captured, the universe will likely be doomed; and so will they.

“It’s been an honor flying with you boys,” he says, and he means it. Aside from Shiro, none of these people have any sort of experience with fighting, yet Keith barely stood out amongst them in this battle. That is something he should show respect to, no matter what.

He briefly thinks of his family, too. Will they even find out what happened to him? Has Ulaz been able to inform Kolivan where he went or are he and Antok still waiting for Keith to return home? When will Thace and his mother hear about this, stuck on their undercover missions?

Keith sighs. He’s lived a good life, allbeit a short one. He’s been well-loved and he’s done what he could to stop the Empire from expanding. He’s willing to give it up now if he must.

And then, Shiro’s voice speaks in his ear like a force all on its own, “No, we can do this! We have to believe in ourselves. We can’t give up, we’re the universe’s only hope. Everyone is relying on **_us_ ** ! We can’t fail! We _won’t_ fail! If we work together, we’ll win together!”

With that rallying cry, it happens. It’s indescribable in words. Keith feels like he’s still him, but like he’s also a part of a larger being. He can faintly feel all the other Paladins and their Lions pulsating like electricity through his nervendings, like he could reach out and touch any of them with just his mind, yet they’re still separate and in each of their own Lions. He can move Voltron’s right arm, and yet he can also control the rest of Voltron with his mind. He can feel everyone’s quintessence in his veins like his own life’s blood, everyone’s thoughts in his mind like clear projected images and everyone’s bodies like they’re his own. Perhaps this is similar to what the bond is like between lifemates, individual and independent yet joined forever together as one unit. And perhaps that’s similar to what Voltron is supposed to be; to represent. If Keith is no longer a kit, he’s free to form his own family unit, his own sub-pack with his chosen people. And generally, at the center of such a unit is a mated pair, though not always.

But now is not the time to be thinking about that.

Voltron moves incredibly lightly and gracefully through the air for such an enormous being, and takes down Sendak’s ship like it’s nothing, cutting through the metal of it like it was just a steak of jervank meat, until it finally explodes from within.

Keith can feel everyone’s roars of relief and joy in his mind even before he can hear them over the comms. He joins them, for this moment letting their feelings become his own, their positive attitudes wash away any negative thoughts he may have. He can be happy for now, for this victory that was so hard-won.

He can’t shut his worries out for long though. He’s not naïve enough to even begin to believe they have won the war. The Empire’s power at this stage is almost incomprehensible, and this team is made of mere rookies fighting against it. This battle may be won but it will take a lot more, and they’ll have to work harder to fully take down the might of the Galra Empire. He’s not going to fool himself about that. And depending on what Shiro may or may not remember, Keith might well be on his own here after all.

But still, perhaps for the first time ever in his life, he has hope, and so does the universe and everyone living in it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta finished this juuuuust before s7 but I decided to wait to upload it because I wanted people to actually be awake when I update ^^;.

Despite the fact that their fight with Sendak’s ship and forming Voltron had exhausted the entire team so badly they barely talked before retiring into their own separate rooms, Keith can’t sleep at all that night. He can’t seem to allow himself relax in this foreign environment. His room feels too impersonal and bare; devoid of any familiar and comforting smells or objects. All he can smell here is the stale air, probably some dust that is about 10,000 deca-phoebes old and the materials that create the room around him. It does nothing to help the way he feels, itchy and agitated, unable to keep still and make his mind calm and quiet enough to allow himself to rest.

The battle from before keeps replaying over and over again in Keith’s mind, casing a shadow over his thoughts and flashing harrowing scenes behind his eyelids every time he closes them. Now that the earlier rush of victory and the mere drive to survive have faded into the background, it’s really truly beginning to hit him what kind of a situation he has landed himself in. They all obviously have little to no idea of what they’re doing. They barely even made it out of their first battle alive. Keith could very easily die or be captured in battle carrying out his duty, if the way they all fight is any indicator of what’s to come. He really may never see his family again. And the worst part is that that’s not even what has Keith the most shaken right now.

The most off-putting thing has been the fact that when they came back to the Castle and exited their Lions, there were only a few courteous and obligatory cheers between the team. No more, no less. It was like talking to any Blade he doesn’t know very well but was assigned to work with for a mission or two. There was no warmth there, no familiarity, no affection. At bare minimum, there was just comradery born from the shared instinct to survive. It felt like a far cry from the loving welcomes he’s used to receiving from his family upon returning from his previous missions; the hugs, the kisses, the purrs.

Not to mention the ‘mission’ they just survived was one far more dangerous and stressful than anything Keith has ever done in his life. Without the gentle way of coming down from the highs and lows of the battle that he’s used to. Without his family’s help and care, it feels impossible for him to release tension that comes from feeling like he has to be constantly at the ready for anything and everything that could happen, for something that could go wrong. He can’t come down. Not when the people that surround him now will only barely touch him.

Keith can understand why they don’t. The team doesn’t know him, just like he doesn’t know any of them. He’s not sure if he’d even welcome being touched by them. It’s not like he particularly liked it from the others in the Blade that weren’t part of his inner circle or family. Honestly, he found it fairly annoying most of the time because they tended to tease him for his small stature and young age, masking it as friendliness in the way they’d ruffle his hair and pick him up like he was just a kit.

Still, the time that has passed since Keith said goodbye to Ulaz is beginning to take its toll. As a Galra, Keith knows that he needs to be touched regularly to stay healthy and in sound mind, and from what he’s learned from his mother, humans are much the same. Up until now, Keith’s family has always taken care to be affectionate and gentle with him, generous with cuddles and strokes on the top of his head, pats on the back, kisses and grooming. Being so suddenly deprived of that hurts more than Keith ever knew it would. It’s especially painful when he knows instinctively that under normal circumstances, the only reason a kit of a sub-pack would leave the comfort of their family behind would be to bond with someone and/or join a new family unit of their own.

But that’s not really what’s happening here. Even though Keith can definitely still feel the Pull towards Shiro, feel their quintessence calling for the two of them to touch each other again and join together as one, Shiro has made no move whatsoever to show he feels it too. He’s only been the same cordial leader to Keith as he has been to everyone else around them. He’s made no indication of even knowing who Keith is since he arrived here.

It makes Keith’s chest ache with how much he wishes he had someone to guide him here in this specific matter. He and Ulaz didn’t really have the time to talk about what Shiro might be to Keith, but honestly, the person Keith most desperately wishes he could talk to about this is his Mom. Her kindred soul had been human too. She could give him some perspective at least, even if their situations aren’t quite the same. As far as Keith knows, his father loved his Mom from the very start. But she could maybe at least tell him how these things are meant to work between a Galra and a human, and what a meeting between kindred souls might feel like for them.   


But instead, Keith is left alone with all his questions and confusion. Does Shiro simply not recognize Keith in his human form, or has he forgotten who helped him escape completely? When they were on Sendak’s ship, Keith thought Shiro could feel the Pull too, but what if he couldn’t? What if it was just the rush of the pressure and danger all around them? Will Shiro care for him at all as he is now, as his teammate who only just showed up?

That’s another thing. It hurts more than he ever knew it could, to realize Ulaz was right. Keith’s a Paladin of Voltron now, but he’s completely surrounded by strangers here. They could very easily become hostile the moment they find out about his heritage, the part of him he has so far been able to avoid mentioning. For the moment the rush and hurry of the situation they’re all in has kept Keith safe from too many questions, but he can’t trust that to last long. Not when, for better or worse, Keith is going to be stuck here with these people for a long time if they all manage to stay alive.

And yet, despite the mind-melding nature of Voltron, Keith still can’t be sure he can trust them to have his back if they find him out. But, he can’t build genuine trust on lies, can he? Right now, though, there is no trust at all and the rest of the team has no reason to not harm him if he tells them the truth and they don’t like what they hear. If he only lies about this one thing, at least he can let trust build before it comes out. Perhaps then the others would consider him their teammate to a degree that they would know him not to be like the Galra of the Empire.

The truth of the matter is that Keith has no safe place in the universe anymore, not even on this ship. He can’t truly depend on anyone. And right now, he must do what he can just to survive. It’s not just his life on the line anymore. If he’s not there to pilot Red, Voltron can’t be formed and the universe’s greatest hope and weapon won’t be there when it’s needed most. Keith can’t afford to risk that. Not right now. This is just what any Blade would do; be cautious first and see how things progress. Be quick on your feet and think of all possible outcomes, then if all else fails go with your instincts. Keith may now be a Paladin, but he was raised a Blade and he’ll always remain one at his core. Right now, like his mother and Thace, he’s undercover in a way, and he will need to do all he can to keep himself safe for the sake of the bigger picture.

The thought of them and the knowledge of what he’s gotten himself into makes Keith ache with loneliness, all the way down to his bones. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling to him, since despite their efforts it’s been rare that he has his whole family with him under even the best circumstances. Still, Keith doesn’t think it’s ever felt quite this bad. He’s so incredibly isolated in this castle, without anyone he can count on; with no one to really talk to and no one who really knows him.

Almost of its own volition, his right hand begins to move towards his chest, reaching for the one comfort he’s always had when his world seems to darken. When he feels alone and like he could be crushed beneath the weight of how much he misses his family. Keith doesn’t even really think about what he’s doing. He just plucks the pendant he always keeps close to his heart away from his chest and rolls it between a pale thumb and forefinger. He holds it up just enough that he can see it from where he’s laying on his back, placing his free arm beneath his head to gain a bit of levity for his line of sight. He admires the pendant’s smooth silvery surface, and the way the ambient lights in this new room of his reflect off its surface. He rolls it between his two fingers, and then with his thumb hoving over the red gemstone in the center of it, he presses down.

Immediately a hologram picture of Keith as a newborn kit with his mother and blood father appears, glowing before his face, a soft light pouring out of the gemstone. His father has the same carefree grin on his face that he always does when Keith pulls up this particular picture, looking almost proud to be holding his tiny, purple son and lifemate close to him. Keith’s mother looks more relaxed than Keith can ever remember seeing her in his entire life, taller than his human father and dressed in strange clothes that must have been in style on Earth almost 20 deca-phoebes ago. This is one of the few pictures Keith has of all three of them together.

Keith reaches up to place his finger on the hologram picture, and swipes it to the right. Another picture comes into focus. Him just before he turned seven, smiling, in Zanva’s arms; both of them dressed in alike science gear and heads pressed together affectionately. Slav is tinkering with something in the background, just barely visible in the frame. Keith squeezes the pendant slightly tighter between his fingers, bites his lip, takes a few deep breaths as he looks at the picture.

The pendant had been a gift for his seventh birthday from Zanva. She’d told him to look at the pictures saved inside when his family couldn’t be with him, or when he was feeling low. She had designed it herself, in a way that it could only ever be activated by Keith himself; by his quintessence, and only if he was willing. It won’t reveal anything to anyone even if someone were to steal it, so it’s the one personal marker he can always carry with him. Keith never takes it off, no matter where he goes. He’s come to regard is as almost a good luck charm, and he knows he’d be lost without it.

Seeing Zanva’s face before him now makes Keith miss her terribly, even after all this time. He can feel his throat tightening with it, his eyes stinging. She’s been gone for almost as long as this picture is old, but Keith knows his family still feels her loss. They’ve readjusted themselves accordingly, of course, and made do with it, but a sub-pack is never quite the same when one of its members is lost. Keith still doesn’t think anyone could teach him knowledge about the universe quite as well as Zanva, not even her blood brother Ulaz, close as he comes. Her brilliant mind has been a loss felt most keenly, not just by their sub-pack, but by the entirety of the Blade.

Keith swipes his finger again, unable to bear looking at Zanva’s happy face any longer, and up pops a picture from his seventh birthday. It’s the most recent picture he has of his whole sub-pack together. Zanva disappeared just two movements after it was taken. In the picture, his family is all gathered around a table of celebration and food. Keith himself sits at the end of it, opposite to whoever was called in to take the picture. There’s cream by the side of his mouth and he’s already wearing his new pendant around his neck. His mother has her arm around him, Thace and Ulaz are leaned in together on one side; Zanva is grinning and waving next to her blood brother; Kolivan looking slightly embarrassed to be there on the other and Antok beside him, for once, has his mask deactivated although he has drawn his hood up for the picture in a way that makes it difficult to see much of his face. 

Keith keeps swiping his finger through the holographic images, keeps looking at all his most precious memories. His mother curled up with him, the two asleep together; him sitting on a table with Ulaz pouring over tablets for knowledge; Thace laughing and playing with him; a few stills from sparring sessions with Antok; Keith on his first day as an official Blade together with Alryn, and Regris, who is holding him up with just one arm for the picture, the show off; a candid shot of Kolivan pouring over plans and strategies with Antok (Keith took that one in secret)…

Keith’s eyes keep stinging, and his breaths come out stuttered and short, his throat constricting. He wishes he could cry properly. It might at least lighten some of the aching pressure of longing that’s taken up residence inside of him, crushing his lungs and squeezing his heart in a vice grip, but he’s too exhausted to do even that. All he can do is pour over these pictures and think about the situation he is in now and how best to proceed going into tomorrow and all of the days that follow. He knows what he must do deep in his gut, but he really needs some time to think and make a solid plan. Keith can’t just walk out of this room without any consideration for the pretense he’s trying to build up. He may look human enough, but the others already know that’s not the whole truth. He needs to decide what his other blood should be under the lie, should the others ask about it.

What he tells them will have to be something human-looking enough. Keith can’t pass off as Olkari or Taujerian certainly. His false heritage would also need to explain the mark on his cheek and neck, since that is obviously not human, even in this form. In his head, Keith lists off several alien races he knows, the ones that he’s studied. Their appearance, along with their culture and position in the Empire; things he’s been learning since he was a mere kit, trying to choose the most convincing lie.

Finally, he settles on one. He’ll tell everyone he’s Puigian if he’s asked. It would explain his mark well enough, since they are known for their birthmarks across their skin, and Puigians have also been a part of the Empire long enough that they’ve adapted some of Galra habits and culture into their own. It’ll work as a viable excuse in case things Keith takes as normal parts of life end up coming through in his behavior.

Keith just barely has the time to take a calming, finalizing breath from the mental work he’s been doing when a loud alarm and siren starts blaring through the Castle. It’s accompanied by Allura’s voice calling for him and his new teammates to form Voltron and head into battle. Keith’s heart is in his throat as he quickly leaps up and out of his bed, only pausing to turn his pendant’s holograms off and to grab his jacket and his bayard on his way out the door. He’s suddenly grateful he never felt quite at ease enough to change into the traditional Altean sleepwear Coran presented them with before they retired to rest, and instead kept onto his regular daily clothes. At least Keith won’t be rushing to this battle terribly underdressed.

Shiro is the only one at the command deck besides Allura and Coran when Keith arrives. He looks incredibly regal, commanding and ready for any challenge in his Paladin uniform, but it becomes obvious to Keith fairly quickly that he hadn’t actually needed to worry. It is, thankfully, a false alarm, and he finds himself sighing deeply with relief. He hadn’t been looking forward to another all out battle so soon.

Pidge and Hunk arrive soon after him, the latter looking quite put out, yet comfortable in his yellow Paladin sleepwear; he’s still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, likely just having woken up. Pidge has bags underneath her eyes and doesn’t seem to have slept much more than Keith did, still dressed in her casual clothes as well. Lance is nowhere to be seen.

“Look at you!” Allura scolds, gesturing back at them with her slightly raised arms, sounding and smelling frustrated and even a little angry. “Only Shiro’s in uniform, and only Keith thought to bring his bayard! And where’s Lance?”

As if invited by the sound of his name, Keith hears the doors behind them slide open, revealing Lance in his full blue pajamas and morning robe, lion slippers and all. He looks as carefree as an ornuk in an illup fruit tree, and Keith can’t help but raise an eyebrow at him. Didn’t he hear the alarm at all?

“Coran and I have been up for hours getting the Castle back in order,” Allura continues, approaching them. “We had to run a test on the alarms and we decided to test you as well. Guess which one failed.”

Keith has to admit she’s right, but he also remembers the battle from yesterday, and how they only barely survived. Gearing up to fight the Empire and freeing all the planets it’s conquered isn’t going to be as easy as growing your claws on the new Paladins. Keith has been training for fighting against the Empire almost his entire life and it’s still taking him more than he thought to adjust to the situation.  _ He _ barely has any idea what he’s doing. He can’t imagine what it must be like to just have been thrust into it so unprepared, unknowing and ignorant to everything that has been happening just beyond Earth’s solar system.

Still, it’s the part the new Paladins have been given to play in this war, and they must start getting used to it.  They all need to gear up, get better fast and learn to fight, so all of them rather promptly decide to head to their Lions and start training to form Voltron together.

To say it doesn’t work would be a rather large understatement. They try everything they can think of, including but not limited to flying in sync and battling Allura’s Castleship, but nothing seems to work. Keith tries to think back to the previous quintant, and how they managed to form Voltron then, but it feels almost like they only did it through sheer fate and force of will. Even with the make-believe battle against the Castleship, they can’t get back to that feeling they all seemed to share not so many vargas ago, to recreate the scene and form Voltron. It just doesn’t seem to take at all.

Eventually, they all just grow weary of it and return to the Castle, only to be scolded by both Shiro and Allura for their assumed laziness.

“When are we going back to Earth?” Hunk groans, sounding as tired as Keith feels. The lack of sleep and the general stressfulness of the situation is beginning to catch up to him.

“I’m not going back until I find my family,” Pidge says, confirming what Keith already suspected. He feels there is a conversation there that he missed, but he doesn’t think it’s his place to ask. There are a lot of things like that with this new group, but especially with Pidge. Everyone seems intent on referring to her as “him,” which caused Keith some momentary confusion. He’s pretty sure that despite how new he is to human smells, he’s right in his assessment that Pidge is a girl, the light undertone in her scent is pretty telling. Still, she doesn’t seem to want anyone to know about that, so Keith hasn’t said anything either and has resolved to only call her by name if he must address her so as not to slip up or make a mistake. It’s none of his business anyway why she’s doing what she’s doing; besides, he really has no room to talk about hiding things anyway. The less he asks, the less he hopes he’ll be asked in return.

That appears to be a false hope though, because just then Pidge suddenly turns to him and Keith almost jumps, a little scared she could read his mind. “Keith, you said you were with a resistance movement, right? Do you know anything about the prisoners the Galra kept?”

Keith lets out a discreet breath of relief, before answering, “I recently helped some prisoners escape, but I don’t think any of them would be related to you,” he says. “Other than that, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I was a pretty low-ranking member, more of a footsoldier really. I was never told much about anything.”

“Oh,” Pidge says, and it comes out almost like a sigh. She smells sad and disappointed.

“Sorry,” Keith says again, and he means it. He would give almost anything for any news about Zanva, too, even bad news.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Still, you raise a valid point, Pidge,” Shiro says, sitting down with them on the couch. “If there is a resistance movement out there, we could have potential allies. Do you think you could get them to work with us, Keith?”

Keith blinks, mulling over his words. He’s not sure if any of them, especially Shiro, would be so eager to team up if they knew the truth about who his people are. “I’m not sure,” he says. “My people… they are very cautious. They prefer to stay hidden and work in secret. It’s the only way we’ve known to survive under the Empire.” The best lies are always composed of mostly truth. “Voltron, for a long time has been nothing but an old story. Not to mention that right now, we can’t even form it. I’m not sure the others would be willing to risk their anonymity for so little at this moment.”

The words leave a bitter taste in Keith’s mouth, even if they’re not exactly false. They’re a sour reminder of how different this whole situation would be if Shiro just remembered everything. Ulaz had inserted coordinates into his arm, likely to the location of one of their bases. If a Blade showed that much trust in someone, it would work as to vouch for Shiro and the rest of the team; for all of them to work together. Not to mention that if Shiro remembered and accepted Keith as his potential lifemate to court, he’d become a part of Keith’s family and the Blade wouldn’t be able to keep him out, even if he’d have to prove himself before he became privy to any of their secrets. Keith wouldn’t even have to hide who he is, who his family is, because Shiro would already know.

As it is though, Keith can’t ask to look into the coordinates in Shiro’s arm. It would probably just alarm him, not to mention be highly suspicious if he had information that there even are coordinates in the first place. He can’t just work that into a conversation right now, just like what he knows about the history of the Black Lion or Shiro’s bayard. He needs to wait for the right moment.

“I understand,” Shiro says, giving Keith a soft smile that makes his heart grow warm. “In that case, we need to just focus on forming Voltron for now. Maybe we can come back around to the topic of an alliance later.”

Keith offers up a small smile in return, delighted in the way it seems to make Shiro’s gaze soften further. “Maybe.”

“But how are we going to do that?” Lance cuts in indignantly. “Nothing we’ve tried has worked!”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” Coran says. “You know, the original Paladins fought hundreds of battles together, side by side. They were like a pack of yalmores linked at the ears.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely not us,” Lance huffs, letting himself fall back to lie down on the couch in defeat. “Most of us even barely know each other.”

“That may indeed be the core problem here,” Coran declares. “Perhaps we ought to focus more on building trust and getting you to work as a real team over anything else. You should try working out on the training deck.”

“There’s a training deck!?” Hunk and Keith squawk at the same time, though evidently for very different reasons and under very different moods.

...  


A good majority of the rest of the day is spent on the training deck. Keith, personally, relishes in it. It’s almost like he’s back home again, even if now he’s fighting mechanical devices and robots rather than other Blade members or the other Paladins. He’s been trained as a fighter since he was small, so he does pretty well for himself. He knows how to work his new sword, can anticipate some movements from the robotic Gladiator and can keep himself above the water for the most part. The problem is that the training is based on teamwork and not individual prowess, so it’s not really just up to him how well it goes. 

Aside from Shiro, Keith is quickly coming to realize, the other Paladins are mere  _ children _ . They have little to no fighting or combat skills, they can barely use their bayards, and when things get tough, their self-preservation instincts tend to take over. They don’t trust the others to keep them safe yet and that’s a major problem. Not that Keith can really say he trusts them yet either, but he at least can trust in himself. Hunk, Lance and Pidge don’t even have that, and Keith can’t help but wonder what exactly he’s gotten himself into. What the  _ universe  _ has gotten itself into.

The mind-melding exercise is terrifying, because Keith can feel everyone else’s minds and thoughts brushing with his own, almost like a muted version of when they formed Voltron. He doesn’t want them to see anything that might give away his secrets. Thankfully though, he’s been conditioned to shield his mind in the event that the Druids or Zarkon’s witch ever got their hands on him, and he applies the techniques he was taught here. It helps to focus on one thought, so he thinks about Red and Voltron like he’s meant to. It seems to be working, keeping the others out of his head, but it’s still nerve-wracking and sends his stomach churning.

In the end though, it’s not him causing the problem with the exercise, but Pidge, who can’t seem to clear her mind. Keith doesn’t go poking, but he’s becoming more and more convinced that he’s not the only new Paladin who has more than one secret to hide. He may not know her reasons, but it does make him feel a little better to know he’s not alone in his position, even if he won’t ask her about it directly.

After several rounds of various exercises, Coran offers all of them some juice pouches; which seem to be just another bittersweet reminder of home. Keith used to drink something like them with Antok or whoever was his training partner at the time after sparring too. He sips his own somewhat somberly, trying not to think about it too much. He wonders if Antok and Kolivan are worried. His mother and Thace probably won’t have heard of where he is yet; or what he’s doing. They probably still think he’s just doing his regular stealth missions. Keith’s not sure which he prefers; them knowing or not knowing.

“Hey, Keith, I was wonderin’…” Hunk’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and Keith turns to look at him. “Was your Dad like some sort of bad guy?”                                                                              

“Excuse me?” Keith says, his voice coming out a little too high in his surprise. He has no idea where that particular question came from all of a sudden.

“Sorry, I just mean, that well…” Hunk scratches his flushed cheek, as if embarrassed. “When we all met you for the first time, you seemed kinda uncomfortable talking about your Dad…so I just wondered if there was a reason for that or somethin’.”

“And your response to him being uncomfortable was to just bring the thing that made him uncomfortable up again?” Pidge says in that dry, unimpressed way she has, side-eyeing Hunk.

“It’s okay Pidge,” Keith says, smiling at her a little. “I suppose we should really talk about it, and everything else, to get to know each other better. I mean, you guys don’t really know much about me and I don’t know much about you either. To work as a team we should probably fix that…right?”

It also helps that, to Keith, his blood father is a relatively safe topic to discuss as far as revealing personal information goes. It’s related to Keith’s human side, not his Galra side, and therefore he’s less likely to make slip-ups talking about him. Not to mention it’s a way for the other Paladins to feel like they all have something in common, with them having at least some human and Earthly origins.

Shiro smiles warmly at Keith, reaching over to clap him on the shoulder. Keith feels the touch burning right down to his bones. “I like that attitude, Keith. You’re right! That’s exactly what we need.”

Keith gives him a bit of a grateful smile, but before he can say anything more, Hunk asks again, “So…your Dad?”

Keith sighs, a little disappointed by the interruption, but he turns to Hunk regardless and says, “As far as I know, he was a good man, and my mother loved him very much. She always speaks of him fondly.” He pauses for a moment. “He also kept logs that he wrote in at least once a quintant. Mom gave them to me when I was old enough. They’re biased in their view of him of course, but…from what I can tell, he loved her, and me, very much too.”

“I’m sure he did,” Shiro says, giving Keith a soft, encouraging smile that makes blood rush to Keith’s cheeks.

“Hey, come to think of it, your Mom’s an alien right? How was it even possible for your parents to meet in the first place?” Lance asks.

Keith bites his lip, contemplating if he should tell them. But it’s still relatively safe information, and something they probably deserve to know, so he says, “I heard she was on Earth to deliver the Blue Lion, actually.”

“You  _ heard _ ?” Lance asks.

“It was what my…uh… Uncle told me,” Keith says. It’s a bit difficult to find a suitable term for Ulaz that these humans might understand.

“You didn’t ask her?”

“I never really thought to, not that I’ve really had the chance” Keith says, just barely avoiding his voice coming out snappish. “My mother has been away on a mission for a while now and I had no way to reach her to ask between finding out about that and before I had to come here. Not to mention I haven’t seen her in person for a while now.”

Lance blinks a few times, his eyes wide. Then, strangely enough, his face and scent soften to seem almost sad and…sympathetic? “You weren’t even able to say goodbye to her before you came here?”

“No,” Keith admits, shaking his head, the word choking him, his eyes burning.

“I’m sorry, man. That sucks,” Lance says. “Do you miss her?”

Keith bites his lip again, but forces out, “Every day,” even if admitting is a little bit embarrassing.

The mission comes first, he knows that, and he’s certainly proud of his mother for the work she’s doing. He’s taken enough of her, and Thace’s, and everyone else’s time away from being valuable agents for the Blade; because they needed to be there to raise him, he knows that. But the knowledge of that doesn’t make the ache for them go away, especially here, where he feels like he needs them now more than ever, and when he’s been longing for the comforts of home. Even if Kolivan and Antok are his superiors now, they’re still Keith’s family and when official business was concluded, they were always aware of his needs as someone just barely out of kithood and would bestow him with attention and affection just like in his younger deca-phoebes. And now he doesn’t even have that.

“I miss everyone so much,” Keith says, his eyes and throat burning with the heaviness of it.

“I miss my family too,” Lance admits softly, and shifts a bit closer to Keith on the floor. “It’s hard to be so far away from them, without even being able to talk to them or send a message of where I am, when…” he breathes deeply, faintly shaking his head,  “...I know they must be so worried.”

Keith turns to look at him, his vision a bit blurry, only to see Lance giving him a small, gentle smile. Keith finds himself returning it. Perhaps he has more in common with his fellow Paladins than he thought.

“So do I,” Hunk says, sniffling and shifting closer to the two of them too.

“And me,” Pidge admits. “That’s why I’m fighting so hard to find my father and brother; no matter what. Even if I have to tear down the entire Galra Empire to do it.”

“That’s what we’re all fighting for, in the end,” Shiro says, moving to lay a heavy, comforting hand on Keith’s shoulder again. As almost the only source of touch from anyone in the past few days, Keith welcomes the way it feels on him almost desperately, and even more so because it comes from Shiro; it sears his skin in the best way possible, even through the layers of clothes and armor. “For our families, and all the other families out there.”

Keith turns to smile at Shiro, and as he releases a shaking breath, he finally feels like it comes out a little easier. He can feel the Pull between the two of them radiating like starlight on his skin where they are connected. But that’s not the only warm thing around him. He feels the comfort and the presence of the other Paladins around him too. This is his team now, for better or worse. And for the first time since he arrived, Keith feels like it could actually work out for them. For the first time, he feels slightly less alone here.

In the end, the final bonding exercise of the day ends up being a food fight. It’s probably the most fun Keith’s had in his entire life, and he laughs a lot throughout the whole ordeal. This is what he always missed as the only kit on the base growing up, without any playmates or friends his own age. As much as he loves his family, that’s been something he’s always wanted for himself. He never got to goof off like this, not really, if he wanted to be heard and treated like an equal. Being around the other Paladins, Keith doesn’t have to act so mature just to be taken seriously. He can play and have fun and still feel the unfairness of the situation they’re stuck in with them. They are all in this together.

Afterwards, when they’re all feeling connected from their teamwork and bonding during the food fight, they finally manage to form Voltron. It feels even more powerful than the first time, even more exhilarating, the connection even stronger than before. It leaves Keith feeling breathless and a little wobbly at the knees even after they disengage and he comes out of Red.

“I just want you to know,” Hunk says afterwards, when they’re back in the Castle lounge again, relaxing and resting together after the long day they’ve had. “That I realized when we were in Voltron,” he pauses to pull in both Keith and Lance, who are sitting at his sides on the couch, into a sudden, crushing, hug. His grip is tight and his chest warm and cuddly, but it still throws Keith off a little with how out of nowhere it happens. “We’re brothers, man. Like, we’re totally connected, no secrets, no barriers, no nothing.”

Keith bites his lip, guilt bubbling up and beginning to burn at the back of his throat, and the pit of his stomach like acid. Hunk’s words hit right where it hurts. No one has asked about his heritage at this point, but he figures it’s only a matter of time. And, really, Keith should be truthful about it. He should just come forward and say it, even before they ask him. They all have such camaraderie now, but none of them are quite attached enough yet for it to feel like too a huge of a betrayal. It would be a good time to tell them. He could even let Hunk know about how there is a term for what he’s describing in Galra language, how Keith is fairly sure they’re beginning to form their own sort of family unit, or sub-pack out of this team after all.

But, even as he works to open his mouth, to force the words to pour out of his throat, all he can manage to gasp out is air. The words feel stuck, held back by the chains of fear that still claws at his chest. Today has been a good day for all of them as a team, yes, but it doesn’t really change anything. Keith is still on his own. He still doesn’t know these people well enough to say how they’d react if they knew he was Galra, or that he’s been hiding it from them thus far.

He can’t help the way his eyes glance over at Shiro, too. Or the way his throat closes up at the sight of him, the way his whole being grows cold, with what he realizes is a deep-seated fear of rejection. Shiro doesn’t remember who helped him escape. All he knows about the Galra are the horrible things they’ve done to him personally and to the universe at whole. What if Shiro would hate him because of what he is? What if he’d look at him with the same disgust and fear he has when anyone speaks of the Empire? Would Keith ever be able to bear that? Could he convince him that not all Galra are bad? Would Shiro ever learn to look past his heritage if his memories never return to him?

A lump forms in his throat and Keith can feel his breaths coming out short. He takes a few deep intakes of air, trying to calm the burn in his eyes.

He can’t do it. He can’t bring himself to tell them. Not now.

Thankfully, he’s quickly given an excuse to avoid that unpleasantness and leave the room, when all the Paladins prepare to retire to their rooms again. Keith follows their example, thankful for more reason than one at the opportunity. The day has been harsh and he has barely been able to rest since he got here, so he feels exhausted to his core, heavy with weariness and a little unbalanced as he makes his way towards his room. He hopes he can actually manage to get some sleep tonight. Perhaps the hug Hunk gave him earlier might be enough to lull him to dreamland for the time being, or perhaps he’ll just be tired enough to collapse into a deep, dreamless sleep. He would take either option at this point. He just wants to rest and forget everything for a little while.

Just as he’s about to round the corner to his room, a voice stops him, “Keith?” he hears Shiro say from behind himself, and it stops him in his tracks. “Can we talk for a bit?”

Keith’s heart jumps. Could Shiro have remembered something? The Pull between the two of them is as strong as ever, and despite his weary, ragged body, Keith’s being grows warm with even the mere idea Shiro wished to speak to him alone, no matter what it’s about.

“Of course,” Keith says, swiftly turning around to face Shiro and leaning against the corridor wall for support. “What’s up?”

For a moment, Shiro seems to just look at his face, as if in some sort of a daze, biting on his lower lip with his eyes dark and almost questioning. Keith doesn’t feel like rushing him because he himself doesn’t mind looking at Shiro’s handsome face or strong body. It’s a little flattering that Shiro seems so struck by him, really. It gives Keith at least some hope regarding the fate of the two of them together. Whether Shiro remembers or not, whether he feels the Pull or not, there is clearly something about Keith he finds appealing. It’s better than nothing, for the time being.

Eventually though, Keith arches a brow, and tilts his head slightly in question and that seems to be enough to draw Shiro out of his own head. Shiro blinks rapidly a few times, before averting his eyes and clearing his throat. Keith smiles a little at seeing the way his cheeks look a little pink.

“Ah… nothing much, it’s just…” Shiro begins, before cleaning his throat again. “I guess I just wanted to…” he pauses again, licking his lips, rubbing the back of his head. He still won’t quite meet Keith’s eyes.

“Alright,” Shiro finally takes a deep breath and says, this time sounding a little steadier. “I just wanted to say…I know we don’t know each other very well yet, and you don’t know anyone else that well here either. But, I just wanted to say that I’m glad you’re a part of this team. I don’t want you to feel like an outsider just because you don’t know us or just because you weren’t raised on Earth like us. I truly hope we can become a real team in spite of all that.” Finally, Shiro turns to properly meet Keith’s gaze, and as he does, he gives him that gentle, soft smile that looks so perfect on his handsome face. It makes Keith feel warm from the inside out. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I just want you to know I’m here. I know none of us can replace your family, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through all of this alone.”

Keith’s heart begins thumping madly in his chest, pushing heat through his whole body. “…Thanks,” he chokes out, managing a smile back. “I…I could say the same for you. If you need someone to talk to, I’ll be here to listen. I know it can’t be easy, just being thrown into this situation. You shouldn’t have to deal with it alone either, Shiro, leader or not.” He adds a bit of a playful edge to the corner of his smile. It seems to make Shiro’s cheeks flush redder. Keith finds he quite enjoys that sight. “After all, I am Voltron’s right hand. Doesn’t that mean I should always support the leader to the best of my ability?”

Shiro doesn’t say anything to that. He just keeps staring at him, his eyes wide and sparkling as if in awe, his cheeks still faintly red. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Keith continues. “But, you know. The offer is open. I know you don’t really know me, like you said, but sometimes it can be easier to talk to someone who has fewer expectations of you.”

Slowly, Shiro’s eyes soften, and they look almost liquid in the way they look at Keith, shining with the lights of the corridor like stars in space. It reminds Keith of the way Shiro looked at him on Sendak’s ship, and it sends his quintessence singing, burning. “Thanks, Keith. I really appreciate it.”

Keith swallows around his suddenly dry throat, licking his lips a little nervously. “Ah, well…if it means anything coming from me, I think you’re a great leader.”

“Thanks,” Shiro says, now smiling almost shyly, rubbing the back of his neck again. It all makes him look younger, almost boyish. It feels like a glimpse to a Shiro Keith never got to know, the one he may have been before the Empire captured him. It makes Keith’s heart ache in more ways than one to even think about. “I’m just trying to do what I can. We all are.”

“Yeah,” Keith breathes. There’s a moment’s silence. Keith licks his lips again. This is the first time he and Shiro have been alone since Keith arrived here. Shiro may not remember him, but perhaps he remembers  _ something _ . Keith should find out how much, just for the sake of his own peace of mind and to maybe start forming some sort of a plan of action for what to do next.

He doesn’t want to hurt Shiro by saying something wrong. But he has to know. This is the one thing Keith can’t bear to just let go without trying.

Still, for Shiro’s sake, he decides tread carefully. “Shiro…can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Shiro blinks. “Sure.”

“It’s just…” Keith begins, pausing to consider his words and rubs at his arm for comfort. “You were held prisoner by the Empire, weren’t you?” Now he’s the one who can’t bring himself to look at Shiro. “I mean I…I can tell. Your arm is obviously Empire tech.”

Having said that, Keith forces himself to meet Shiro’s gaze, fearful as he is for what he might find, just in time to see something pass by Shiro’s eyes. Something dark and pained. Keith swallows roughly. He immediately wishes he’d never brought it up.

Before he can say so, however, Shiro beats him to it, “Yes. I was,” he says, taking in a deep breath, as if to calm himself. “I had been on a research expedition from Earth. The Galra found us on Kerberos, which is the furthest moon in Earth’s known solar system. I was out there with Pidge’s brother Matt and father Sam.” Well. That explains some things about her at least, though Keith doesn’t say so out loud now. “We were captured, but…honestly, I don’t remember much else about it. All of it feels mixed up, fuzzy, almost like it was just blanked out.”

“Perhaps your mind is trying to protect you,” Keith says, keeping his tone soft and concerned. It may also be that something was done to Shiro that made him forget, but he doesn’t want to scare Shiro more or bring him any additional pain by voicing that thought. It’s best for both of them to just believe that this may be what Shiro needs right now to cope with all that has happened to him. Keith will have to content himself with that knowledge for now as well. At least he now he has a better idea about why Shiro doesn’t recognize him. He can’t wish for more this moment, and he also can’t even attempt to make Shiro to remember before he’s ready. It would only do more harm than good. “Don’t try to force it. I’m sure your memories will return if you give them time.”

“Yeah,” Shiro says, before sighing and running his fingers through his hair in something akin frustration for a while. “We should probably get some rest. It’s been a long day.”

“You’re right,” Keith says, but doesn’t move before Shiro does, and lets him go on his way in peace, watching him go. He hopes Shiro will be able to rest easy tonight as well.

Suddenly, Shiro stops, just as he was about to walk past Keith. He quickly turns to look at him, again with those soft, gentle eyes.

“Good work today,” Shiro says, reaching out to place his hand on Keith’s shoulder once more. They’re so close to each other like this, Keith leaning against the wall and Shiro looming over him. Keith can almost feel the natural warmth of Shiro’s body radiating off him alongside the gentle sparks beneath his skin where Shiro is touching him. It would be so easy to lean up to kiss him again from this position, but Keith restrains himself. He doesn’t think it’d be welcomed right now. Shiro is still far too confused and in far too vulnerable a position. Even if he’d allow Keith’s affections, it could happen for the wrong reasons, and that’s far less than either of them deserve.

Keith contents himself with looking up into Shiro’s lovely eyes for now. “Thanks. You too.”

Shiro smiles at him, his eyes shifting all across Keith’s face, as if he’s taking him in. Keith lets him look, happy to just be near Shiro like this, to feel his warm touch and have the Pull be at least mildly silenced by their proximity. Shiro’s eyes slowly leave his face in favor of his hair and ears and neck, down to his chest until they meet his pendant.

As though struck by it, Shiro takes it in his free hand. Keith almost jolts at such a sudden casual show of intimacy, but he doesn’t mind it in the least, so he doesn’t try to move away or comment on it.

“This is nice,” Shiro murmurs, gently turning the pendant around in his hand. “I saw it on you earlier today too, but didn’t have time to say anything then.”

“Thanks,” Keith says softly, almost afraid to break this moment. “I’ve had it for a long time. It was a gift.”

Shiro smiles, letting the pendant slip from his hand onto Keith’s chest again, before drawing his eyes up to meet Keith’s once more. “It was good talking to you, Keith. Good night.”

“Good night, Shiro,” Keith says. He draws up all his courage, and manages to raise his hand to stroke down Shiro’s muscular arm in comfort and solidarity. It makes Keith blush a little to feel how firm he really is, his heart stammering in his chest and his throat going dry with the realization.

Shiro smiles at him once more before finally letting go of him, exiting Keith’s space and going on his way towards his quarters. Keith watches him go until he disappears down the corridor. He still feels the echo of Shiro’s warmth against his own skin by the time he finally turns to go to his own room on his shaky legs.

Once in private, Keith quickly undresses for bed and then relaxes to the thoughts of Shiro in a way that he’s never done for any specific person before. It leaves him gasping, sweaty and boneless.

He’s just thankful it’s enough to finally allow him to sleep, completely dreamless and restful, for the remainder of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry about the delay with this. I started at a new school and that's been a bit of an adjustment, and then my beta went on a bit of a hiatus so I had to find a new one. But the chapter is extra long this time so hope that makes up for it ;).
> 
> This chapter was beta-read by veelightwood on Tumblr. Thanks so much! <3.

The next few quintants pass by in the midst of training and teamwork, while the Alteans work on getting the Castle up and running as a ship so they can leave Arus behind and take the fight to Zarkon. In-between all of that, though, Keith learns several things about both himself and his new team.

For one, he’s evidently not very good at socializing with people his own age. He was always the baby of the bunch with the Blade, their youngest member by far for many deca-phoebes and the only kit at any of the bases he spent his kithood in. He’s never gotten any real practice in what it means to be or make friends, how to act around young people. Even Alryn and Regris, who he’s been working with for deca-phoebs and who joined the Blade at the same time as Keith, are quite a bit older than him and they’ve always treated him more like a younger brother than a friend. Within the Paladins though, Keith is the second  _ oldest  _ after Shiro, and that alone tends to throw him for a loop when it comes to casual interactions with them.

Everyone on the team is learning and growing to work better together in battle and when they form Voltron, but when it comes to just  _ being _ , Keith tends to completely lose his way.

And that’s the other thing. Although one of his very first impressions of the three younger Paladins was that they are children, Keith feels like the more time he spends around them the more he realizes just how  _ right _ he was in that. They’re loud and energetic and don’t seem to realize the scope of their mission or the importance Voltron holds for the universe. Lance especially tends to goof off during training sessions and Pidge and Hunk can easily be distracted and persuaded to join in. Keith may not have fared much better than they did in their first battle against the Empire, but at least he’s willing to acknowledge that for himself and work on getting better. At least he knows his place and his duty. And sometimes Keith wishes he could just shake them and  _ scream _ at their faces that this isn’t some sort of game. While they’re all wasting time just dancing on their toes, there are people suffering, dying, and risking their lives every day under the Empire’s rule and power. And Voltron may be the only way to make any of it better.

Keith does his best to try and remain patient and understanding. He reminds himself that the other Paladins didn’t ask for any of this, that they haven’t grown up in this war, and don’t understand all that is going on the way he does. They have no real emotional ties to it, Earth remaining still untouched by the torture of the Empire. They’ve only ever learned about life outside their own solar system a little while ago. This conflict must feel so abstract to them, like something they understand is happening around them but that hasn’t really registered on an emotional level.

Keith tries his utmost to keep all of that in mind, repeating to himself that the younger Paladins would only barely be old enough to be Blades and yet they are supposed to be responsible for the greatest hope and weapon the universe may have. He grits his teeth, he trains any frustrations he has out on the gladiator bots, and tries.

But even as hard as he does, it gets grating when Lance seems to fancy himself some sort of fated hero in a story for little kits rather than the warrior and defender he’s meant to be, without even trying to better himself for the job. When Pidge clearly has things on her mind that don’t focus on helping the innocent or saving the universe. When Hunk seems so nervous and like he has so little faith in anything, including himself, that he barely even bothers to try. It all serves to frustrate Keith enough that he puts even more distance between himself and the young threesome than he would if the only thing hindering his interactions with them was just his sheer evident social awkwardness. He finds he can only deal with them so long more and more as time passes, and when they finish with their training each day as a group, Keith prefers to retreat to somewhere he can have some peace and quiet by himself to cool off, maybe to meditate. He’s taken to preferring the observation deck where he can look at the stars above Arus and think about home.

Well, sometimes he goes to be by himself. More often than not, he starts out alone, enough so to gather his thoughts and temper, but he doesn’t usually stay that way. Shiro’s taken to joining him on the observation deck, and strangely, he seems to always arrive at the exact time Keith stops being frustrated by people and starts longing for some company; just before he starts sinking into his loneliness and thoughts about how much he misses his family. And with Shiro, everything is so different from anyone else in the Castle.  

Shiro feels like the twinkle of a star in Keith’s cold loneliness, in the frustrating lack of understanding and maturity from the other three Paladins and the demands of the Alteans in the Castle. The more they spend time together, the more affinity Keith feels between the two of them. Keith can’t help but feel like they fit together so seamlessly. It makes it easier for him to believe in all the stories he’s heard about kindred souls when he feels the warmth in his guts from just being around Shiro. Keith’s mind has always been so loud, so full of thoughts and energy and noise, but when he’s with Shiro, he feels centered. The world seems so much brighter and more alive when Shiro is close by, like he breathes colors into Keith’s life.

Just being able to be around Shiro is so exhilarating for Keith. Just getting to have him this close is more than Keith ever could’ve hoped for when he found him on Sendak’s ship. It doesn’t even matter that Shiro doesn’t remember him because at least they can now have this time together that Keith never thought they’d get.

It’s what he keeps telling himself, what he needs to repeat to himself like a mantra when despite how happy being around Shiro makes him, he still can’t help but want more. The Pull between the two of them makes Keith want to reach out, to see if Shiro would pull away if he tried to touch his hand or lean against him. The urge to touch Shiro seems to almost burn beneath Keith’s skin sometimes, especially when he’s still not being touched by anyone else on this ship either. Touch has always been such a central way for the Galra to bond, for Keith to bond, and he suspects the fact he’s not getting to do it with the team is probably a part of why he feels the urge to isolate himself from them. Shiro at least pats his shoulder or his back sometimes or helps him up by the hand when he manages to knock Keith down during training. They’re just about evenly matched in fighting, Keith being used to fighting with people much bigger than Shiro but Shiro also being smart, resourceful and with keen survival instincts. Alongside the Pull, it’s helped Keith form more of a bond with Shiro than with anyone else on the ship, and he would like to think they’re on their way to becoming friends.

The two of them don’t always talk on the observation deck. Shiro’s too nice to say it out loud of course, but Keith has a feeling he gets more weary of the young ones’ antics too than he dares to admit. They both need the time to decompress in silence sometimes, and Keith has no problem with that. He may not be certain what drew Shiro to him that first time he left to be alone and Shiro came to find him, or what keeps bringing him back, but Keith appreciates every tick he gets with him. Keith’s completely fine with just looking over at the stars together, occasionally pausing to take in the mix of emotions seeing them seems to bring to Shiro’s sculpted, handsome face. He always seems amazed by them, but there are often bits of fear and sadness mixed in too.

Sometimes, they talk too. It’s mostly been about trivial things so far, but Keith is willing to allow that. He gets the feeling Shiro keeps more to himself than he wants anyone to know, that he hides himself in plain sight. He can talk for a long time, and it’s only after you stop talking to him that you realize Shiro hadn’t actually said anything meaningful. Keith can’t blame him though. After all, he’s keeping his own thoughts and secrets firmly locked away, and the two of them are still basically strangers, especially from Shiro’s side of things. He’s willing to wait for the Black Paladin to learn to trust him.

For the most part, when they talk, Shiro tells Keith about Earth. He tells him about where he grew up, but barely mentions any friends. He tells him about his favorite foods and how the pink cherry blossoms bloomed in a place called Japan where Shiro’s family originates from, but barely mentions his family. He tells about the sunsets and a place called the Galaxy Garrison where he learned to become a pilot, but doesn’t mention any teachers or anyone else he might’ve known there.

In return, Keith talks to Shiro about the stars and the constellations he knows, about all the machines he can fly and the different planets and people he knows, about their ways. Shiro listens to all of it with apt attention, clearly invested in learning all about the universe he’s been set to save. It warms Keith’s heart to know at least one other Paladin understands him in this, and is serious about this. Neither of them may be quite willing to scold the younger Paladins into acting more like adults, knowing the unfair situation they’ve been thrown into, but it helps even to know that Keith is not the only one who sometimes wishes he could.

He tip-toes around the issue of the Empire with Shiro. The last thing he wants is to remind Shiro of his time with them, and Shiro hasn’t brought it up either. Shiro never even asks about his alien heritage, and Keith is grateful for that, grateful for the mutual sense of boundaries between them. But at the same time, he can’t at times help but wish Shiro would. If he asked, maybe Keith would find the courage to tell him the truth. And maybe then, Shiro would find his courage to open up to him as well.

For now though, Keith contents himself with keeping things light and easy. After all, they need to make the most of what little free time they have from defending the universe. He might as well use this time they have on Arus just becoming more familiar and comfortable with Shiro. There’s no need to rock the boat just yet.

…

The very next quintant, as the team is planning on finally leaving Arus, that free time runs out. Keith wishes he could say he was surprised, but he’s honestly more shocked that it took this long for something to happen. Although Keith’s not exactly sure what the “ducks” Shiro mentioned are, he had a point in that they’re vulnerable as they are, stranded and unable to move on Arus.

The first disruption of the day comes in the form of a warrior sent by the native Arusians to find out what is happening in the Castle, having seen Voltron fight. In the end, that doesn’t turn out to be much of a problem, even though Keith would really like it if his teammates were a bit more cautious about everything they see and everyone they meet. If there’s one thing he’s learned in life, it’s that you shouldn’t underestimate someone just because they look smaller and less dangerous than you. Not to mention he can’t shake the feeling in his stomach that something bad is about to happen very soon. It wouldn’t do to let his guard down.

In the end, the Arusians turn out to be such as Keith has always heard them to be: peaceful and friendly. Keith accompanies the rest of the team to their village so Allura can properly reassure them that Voltron means them no harm in person. Hunk and Lance just seem enchanted by how small the Arusians are and eager to get to know them. Keith for his part just doesn’t feel comfortable staying behind. Not with the ominous feeling growing in his gut.

As Allura works her diplomacy amongst the Arusians, the others spend time and exchange stories with them. Keith tries his best to stay alert, but even he is a little helpless before the open and easy affections of the Arusians. It just feels so good to be touched again, his skin alit with it, and he can’t help but let a few quiet purrs slip as the Arusians rush to cuddle him like they know how much he needs it. Thankfully though, his purrs have always been rather more quiet than a full-blooded Galra’s, so they go unnoticed, blending in with the background noise of the village children kicking up sand as they play and everyone talking.

But of course, the peace can’t last. Keith’s sense about these things has never failed him and it doesn’t fail him now, even if he almost lets himself slip into the false sense of security.  

The team ends up having to fight against a Robeast with Voltron, only saved by the fact that Shiro seems to be remembering a few more things about his time as a prisoner of the Galra, as their gladiator. Apparently, he fought the Robeast before it became what it is now, probably in the arena though he doesn’t say as much himself.

For the duration of the fight, Keith puts any thoughts or feelings he might have about Shiro remembering at least some things to the background. He can’t let himself get caught up in anything personal for that moment, not when the lives of all the Arusians depend on Voltron.

Afterwards though, when it’s all over and they all leave their Lions, he can tell that Shiro is distracted and lost deep in his own thoughts, his eyes unfocused and his scent muddled with confusion and frustration and fear.

It’s enough for Keith to make up his mind. If Shiro’s this confused and scared by the return of just a few memories, clearly not knowing what to make of them, perhaps Keith can at least lessen his pain by filling him in with a few more details. He can at least bring it up with him, let him know he knows more than he’s told so far. He can leave the rest up to Shiro to decide how much he wants to know.

…

That night, Shiro is already waiting for him, sitting in their regular spot on the floor of the observation deck when Keith arrives there.

“Hey,” Shiro says, turning to look at him over his shoulder. He looks as enchanting as ever in the dark backlight of the room, the moon of Arus reflecting off his smooth skin and strong jaw. It makes Keith’s heart ache with longing, but also with sorrow because Shiro still smells so tense, so afraid of everything, even if he’s putting on a strong front.

“Hi,” Keith says, softly stepping over and taking a seat by Shiro’s side. “What a quintant, right?”

“For sure,” Shiro nods, but there is pain hiding behind his eyes and grimness in the corner of his mouth.

Keith can’t stand the sight of it, can’t stand pretending any longer. So he starts, “Shiro…”

Before he can even properly begin, though, Shiro interrupts him. “Can you tell me what you know about the Galra Empire?”

Keith blinks, eyes widening as turns to properly look at and face Shiro. The expression he meets is determined, but gentle. Shiro’s scent is curious, but not demanding. Keith knows Shiro won’t mind if he doesn’t say anything; won’t ask him why if he doesn’t. But Shiro also wants to know. Likely more than anything, right now he wants to know the part he played in the Empire, but not sure how to ask about it directly. This is just the best way around it.

And Keith won’t deny him his knowledge. Not when he’s asked for it himself, even if it might bring him more pain. It’s not up to him to hide things from Shiro or decide what he should or shouldn’t know about himself.

“What do you want to know?” Keith asks, swallowing around the lump of his beating heart in his throat.

“Anything you can tell me. Everything,” Shiro says, and Keith can hear the urgency in his voice.

Keith licks his lips, averting his eyes. Even with his mind made up, he can’t quite bear to look at Shiro’s earnest face. “I know less than my superiors. But more than I think Allura or Coran do, since they’ve been asleep for so long.”

He bites his lip and forces himself to meet Shiro’s eyes. “Some of it might not be easy for you to hear. I know you want more information about your time with the Empire, to fill in the blanks and I’ve actually been wondering if I should bring it up, but I don’t…” he pauses, cutting himself off and taking a deep breath to calm down, his eyes downcast at where his and Shiro’s hands are resting side-by-side on the ground. He stares at them for a moment. Hesitates a moment longer. Finally, he steels himself, and moves his hand just enough to cover a bit of Shiro’s fingers with his own.

Shiro doesn’t flinch or push him away. Keith draws what comfort he can from that, from the firmness and warmth of his fingers.

“I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, Shiro. That’s the last thing that I want,” he murmurs, soft and quiet.

“I know,” Shiro says, his voice equally soft, and so kind that Keith just wants to move to embrace him, to shield him from everything bad in the world. “But truth to be told, I…it’s killing me to not know. I keep wondering what could’ve happened to me, what I might’ve done. I hate not remembering, and only vaguely knowing bits and pieces through memory flashes that I can’t make sense of. And at this point, anything would be better than this uncertainty, this…” he trails off, biting his teeth together, his face pained and grim as he turns it away from Keith.

“I understand,” Keith murmurs, reaching with his other hand to touch the flesh of Shiro’s right shoulder. “Would you like for me to start with you, or from the beginning?”

Shiro’s quiet for a moment. He still won’t meet Keith’s eyes, just bites his lip, pain and thoughts swimming in his dark eyes.

He still doesn’t look at Keith as he says, “Start from the beginning.”

Keith nods, takes in a breath, and begins.

He tells Shiro the Legend of Voltron, the stories he’s heard of the home planet of the Galra, Daibazaal, and how Zarkon was, or so they say, a very different man once who loved his Altean wife and his Altean friend, King Alfor. He tells Shiro that Zarkon was once the Black Lion’s Paladin. It’s not up to him to hide that anymore.

Shiro’s face barely shows anything when he tells him, but his eyes say it all.

“I’m sorry, Shiro,” Keith murmurs, moving his hand again so it properly covers Shiro’s, hoping it might give him some notion of comfort, perhaps provide him with an anchor. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know  _ if  _ I should tell you.”

“No,” Shiro says, and his voice is firm as he meets Keith’s eyes. “It’s a good thing you told me. Not knowing would’ve been…” he clears his throat. “It’s better to know where we truly stand, even if not knowing might be easier.”

Keith nods, but can’t think of anything to say to comfort Shiro. He knows he must be thinking he’s like Zarkon, that there is a connection to the Galra inside of him that he can’t escape from. That the one thing he thought would validate him being good is now tied to what he hates the most, what he wants to fight against, what he’s afraid of within himself.

“Zarkon wasn’t always like this, like I told you,” Keith says quietly. “Much of what really happened has been lost in time, but the tale goes that he and Honerva were conducting some sorts of secret and dangerous experiments. The results somehow eventually seem to have driven them both into madness. And Honerva…to her death.”

He pauses, letting everything he’s saying sink in for Shiro, licking his lips. “And her passing only added to Zarkon’s madness. Galra mate for life. When…they choose their life partners, they tie their quintessence, their life force, together with their partner. Two essentially become one.” Shiro’s eyes are wide and curious now as they look at Keith, listening. Keith licks his lips again. He’s glad Shiro doesn’t smell like he’s in pain anymore, but this intense scrutiny of his face is strange too. It makes him feel like Shiro can see right through him.

“And…when one of them dies before the other?” Shiro asks, his voice hoarse.

Keith bites his lip. “It’s like torture, or so I’m told. The pain of it…it’s indescribable. You feel as your partner fades away physically as well as emotionally. Many have lost their minds by that loss. Most seek their own death by any means possible afterwards. And even if you live…you live with that pain, that loss, for the rest of your life. The ache of it may grow duller, it may grow lighter…but it’s always going to be there. You never stop feeling like you’re only half, like you’re missing a huge part of yourself that is never going to come back.”

Shiro breathes out, his eyes closing. “Holy hell…”

Keith doesn’t hesitate anymore at seeing the pain on his face. He moves his hand to properly wrap it around Shiro’s. He squeezes it. And Shiro squeezes back.

They stay like that, in silence, for a while. Keith listens to Shiro’s breathing, trying to decipher by his scent what he’s feeling, but Shiro smells as muddled as his thoughts must be at this moment and Keith can’t make sense of it. So he does the only thing he can do, and keeps holding his hand.

Eventually, Shiro breaks the silence and says, “What about my time with the Galra? Do you know anything about it?”

Even under such circumstances, Keith can’t help but be a little bit in awe. Shiro really wants to know, even with the pain he’s already. He’s done beating around the bush. He’s asking him directly. He wants to get this over with.

So, Keith has no choice but to tell the truth. “You may not like what you hear. And I won’t have many answers for you.”

“I don’t care,” Shiro says, taking in what seems to be a calming breath, his eyes slipping closed as if he’s steeling himself. “I need to know. I can find out more if you can give me a start. So please…please, just tell me.”

Keith nods, taking in a calming breath for himself as well. “I heard rumors, though I never saw it myself. The Empire have many sick and twisted ways of tormenting their prisoners. One of the more brutal ones is making them fight against each other or against Empire soldiers in an arena for an audience’s entertainment.” It still makes the inside of his mouth taste sour to even think about it.

Shiro nods. “Gladiators. Human history has had them too.” He pauses, blinking, taking in a breath, eyes liquid with hitting shock and the following pain. “Was I…was I one of those sent to fight? I…I think I…”

“That’s what I’ve heard,” Keith interrupts him, squeezing Shiro’s hand tighter in his. He hopes it can work as something that Shiro can use to anchor himself into the world, to not go back to that dark place of his mind and memories. He also wants to let Shiro know without words that Keith doesn’t think any less of him for what he’s been forced to do in order to survive, that it doesn’t make Keith averse of him or his touch. He needs to, when he can see in Shiro’s eyes that he’s losing him now, that he’s slipping somewhere far away from him. Somewhere where Keith can’t reach him or follow him.

“There was an undefeated fighter known as ‘the Champion,’” Keith continues, because he has to. He needs to finish telling Shiro now, or he never might. Not when he can smell how much Shiro’s hurting, but also how much he needs to know everything Keith can tell him. He can only hope having this knowledge may open up a path for Shiro to heal, and to be there during it. “He was rumored to be human. I don’t think it could’ve been anyone but you, Shiro.”

As soon as the last of his words slip out of Keith’s mouth, Shiro’s breath seems to catch in his throat. And then it never comes out. His face grows white and grim, and Keith can smell the cold sweats starting to break out on Shiro’s skin. His dark eyes are like voids, completely unfocused and wide, not seeing anything and just blankly looking into the distance. Keith can feel Shiro’s hand shaking in his, can feel his entire body vibrating beside him. He holds Shiro’s hand even tighter, turning to sit so he can be as close to Shiro as possible, to look at him properly.

This is not the first time Keith’s seen something like this. He grew up in the Blade, after all, and many of its members had been touched so much by what they’ve seen and been through in their lives that their minds had become affected and grown ill by it. Everyone in the Blade knows what to do when someone gets like this and Keith is no exception, especially with a physician like Ulaz in his family.

“Shiro, it’s okay,” he murmurs, still holding onto Shiro’s hand and reaching over to place his hand on Shiro’s shoulder again, too, to ground him, to make Shiro look at him and remember.

“Just breathe, you’re not there anymore,” Keith says, keeping his tone soft, but firm. He won’t let any of his worry show in his voice or his expression. That’s the first thing he’s learned in how to deal with situations like this. The most important thing is to remain calm, not leave the person suffering alone unless they specifically ask for it, and try to help them through it.

“Breathe with me, okay,” Keith says, looking Shiro straight in the eyes. Thankfully, Shiro’s gaze seems a bit more focused now, like he’s seeing Keith and not just staring into the nothingness. “In…” Keith takes a deep breath, and to his relief, Shiro follows his example to his rhythm. “And out, slowly…” They breathe out together. “In…”

Keith keeps going in this manner, breathing in and out slowly and counting the breaths out loud, until the wildness in Shiro’s eyes begins to calm and his trembles grow weaker and slower. He still keeps his hold of Shiro, though, even if Shiro’s grip on his hand is tight enough to hurt.

“I’m sorry, Shiro,” Keith murmurs, once he deems it the right time to properly speak, for Shiro to listen. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“No,” Shiro says, his voice coming our hoarse but no less convinced. “You were right to tell me. I needed to hear it.” He closes his eyes for a while, head hanging as if in defeat, taking in a slow, shaky breath. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”

“There is nothing to apologize for,” Keith says, keeping his voice gentle and kind. And because he can’t think of any other way to comfort Shiro, since he has always spoken more with his actions than his words, Keith shifts his hand on Shiro’s arm to around his shoulders instead. Shiro doesn’t resist him, and allows Keith to pull him to his chest for a comforting embrace and hold. He lets out a short sigh of relief as Shiro practically melts into his arms. There’s nothing romantic about the embrace, even as Shiro moves to hold Keith back, but Keith is still just so selfishly happy to be touched and that Shiro didn’t reject him that he can’t even bring himself to care.

Still, because the hold is meant to be about Shiro first and foremost, Keith makes sure to cradle him gently, not too unlike the way his family would hold him when he was afraid or sad. He strokes Shiro’s back and even the back of his head, the fuzzy, stiff hairs on him tickling his fingers. Shiro’s scent is still sour from the mix of emotions coursing through him, but Keith doesn’t let that bother him. He just keeps holding him, trying to bring him any sense of comfort he can.

“You’ve been through much, Shiro,” he murmurs into his ear. “I would never judge you for reacting like this, or for anything you did in order to survive. I know how horrible the Empire is better than well, believe me. I know what they are capable of, and what they are capable of making people do, too.”

He licks his lips, taking in a breath to steel himself. “And I told you before that I’d be there to support you. I meant it, and I still mean it now. Whatever you need, I’m here. You’re not alone, so don’t feel like you have to carry this on your own.”

Shiro lets out a shuddering breath in his arms, against his shoulder. Keith’s words seem to be what finally breaks him, and opens up the floodgates. He begins trembling in Keith’s arms again, but this time it’s with the overflow of tears and sorrow that overtake his body and wreck him all the way from the inside out.

“That’s it,” Keith murmurs, tightening his hold and still stroking the back of Shiro’s head and his back. “It’s okay. You can let it out. I’m here.”

As Shiro weeps quietly in Keith’s hold, Keith makes a silent promise. He swears to himself he will protect this man. Shiro may not let anyone else see his pain, wanting to maintain his position as the oldest and the leader of the team; to keep calm so they don’t panic. Keith may be the only one he ever shows this side of himself to.

And that’s a task Keith is more than willing to take on. If no one else will see Shiro’s pain, he will. He’ll help him carry it to the best of his abilities; will defend him when he needs him. He’ll be the one Shiro will be able to depend on, to rely on, when things get difficult. No matter what else happens or doesn’t happen between the two of them, Keith can at least do that much for him.

…

In the end, Shiro doesn’t seem eager to tell the rest of the team about what Keith has told him, and Keith can’t really blame him. Shiro may need some time to come to terms with it all before he feels ready to share anything with anyone else, and Keith can understand how he feels. Shiro’s probably afraid of what the others might think if they knew what Shiro now knows about the previous Black Paladin, and the connection he has to the Empire through that and what he’s been through. It’s close to the reason Keith is keeping his own secrets. Neither of he nor Shiro want to tip the delicate balance of the new team’s dynamic, and revealing something drastic would do just that. Not to even mention that Shiro’s clear embarrassment over his panic attack likely makes everything even more difficult for him to share. Keith hasn’t known him that long, but he can already tell Shiro is a very private person who also pushes himself so hard to be a strong, unaffected leader that his team can depend on. All of that doesn’t leave much room for sharing about personal fears and weaknesses.

For the time being, Keith’s willing to let Shiro do as he sees fit and keep his secrets if he so wishes. He just hopes there might be a time later when Shiro will find it in himself to share everything with the rest of the team, to properly place his trust in them like he has in Keith. Perhaps when that day comes, Keith can find it in himself to do the same, too.

Thankfully, he and Shiro both get something else to think about with the celebration Allura insists on hosting at the Castle in honor of Voltron’s latest victory and the newly-formed alliance between their team and the Arusians. It is also a thank-you to them for hosting the Castle on their planet for so long.

To his surprise, Keith even manages to have a little fun at the party, despite the fact that he apparently doesn’t get what Lance is trying to do with his and Hunk’s proposed team cheer. He just doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t just say Voltron. It would be so much simpler and easier and faster and why are humans so weird anyway?

He keeps an eye out for Shiro for much of the night, but doesn’t approach him because Shiro seems like he wants to be alone for a while. Keith can give him that, can allow him his privacy. He keeps himself busy exchanging some words with the Arusians, who really are genuinely very sweet people, and helping himself to the treats they’re all being served. The food is fine and sweet, tasting not too unlike tilty cubes, but Nunvil definitely leaves something to be desired as a drink. Keith desperately wishes he could offer for the one who decided to serve it to trade up to something better.

“Hey, man,” Hunk’s voice snaps Keith out of his thoughts. He realizes he’s been staring down at his cup of the unpleasant beverage for several doboshes now as he snaps his eyes up to meet Hunk’s concerned, sympathetic gaze. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith hurries to say. “Just thinking about home. Or, specifically, our food and drink back home. I don’t understand how the Alteans can drink this stuff.” He lifts his cup.

“Oh, good to know it’s not just a human thing to dislike Nunvil then,” Hunk chuckles, rubbing the back of his head with a slightly embarrassed smile. “What do you guys like to drink where you’re from, anyway?”

Keith can’t help the wistful smile breaking on his lips as memories fill his mind. He can almost taste all his favorite foods and drinks on his tongue, smell them in his nostrils as he says, “I’m not sure if this celebration would call for Vilvy nectar. That is saved for the most special occasions, like coming of age or a birth or a…a bonding.” He can’t help the way his voice softens and trembles a little at the end, the way his cheeks flush, even as he forces himself to shake off any thoughts of him and Shiro sharing a glass of Vilvy. “This type of a party might call for Nerma juice, rather. It’s not quite as rare, but it’s still better than  _ this _ .” He gestures to his cup with his free hand.

“That doesn’t take much, honestly,” Hunk says, twirling his own glass in his hand with a grimace. “What do those drinks you guys have taste like? And what kind of food do you have? I could try to make some for you, so you won’t feel so homesick.” Hunk has been taking over the kitchen lately, which Keith is grateful for. They might’ve all starved if they’d allowed Coran to keep to the task, and in Keith’s opinion, Hunk is the far superior chef. He knows he’s not the only one in the Castle who thinks so either, since Hunk was also asked to provide the food for tonight. Coran was only responsible for the Nunvil, which just goes to prove Keith’s previous point.

“Vilvy nectar is really sweet, but it sort of…burns on the way down. Makes your whole body warm on the inside. Nerma juice is colder, but more mellow in taste, and it smells almost flowery.”

“Okay, that doesn’t help me much,” Hunk says.

“Sorry,” Keith says, averting his eyes, shuffling his feet. “I’m not very good at explaining things.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, dude,” Hunk says gently, and to Keith’s surprise, reaches to place his hand on Keith’s shoulder. His touch is firm and warm, and somehow different from any other way Keith’s ever been touched. He wonders if this is the way it feels when you have a friend. “We just come from different backgrounds. It’s still hard for me to realize we’re actually in space, even. But we’ll get there with time, right? We’ll learn more about each other. And then maybe I can cook for you.”

Keith smiles at him. “I already like your cooking, Hunk.”

“Hey, thanks, man.” Hunk smiles back. “Maybe for the next party I can try to come up with something better than Nunvil for us to drink, too. It may not be Vilvy nectar of Nerma juice, but it could be our own thing, you know? Like a Paladin thing?”

Keith can’t help the way his smile grows wider, warmth pooling down into his belly. “I’d like that.”

It seems that food is the right orilk shatterer with Hunk, because the two of them keep chatting. Keith feels almost light on his feet with how easy it suddenly is to talk to him. He almost wants to laugh at how much simpler interaction with someone his own age can be than he ever thought, even after all the trouble, and feels a bit silly he didn’t think to talk about food with Hunk before now. But perhaps it’s just easier to have one of the younger Paladins alone than to deal with them as a group. This way, Keith feels a lot less like he’d be intruding on something he has no place in.

Before a varga has passed, Keith has decided he rather likes Hunk, now that he’s gotten to learn a little about his life and what he’s really like. He turns out to be surprisingly pleasant and mellow, at least when he’s not around Lance. Keith even feels enough at ease with him to crack a few jokes and laugh when Hunk makes some of his own for him and the Arusians. He feels almost like he’s floating with happiness. He’s never felt less lonely since he’s come to the Castle than tonight, having shared some things with Shiro and getting to know one other teammate. Perhaps there is hope for this team after all. Maybe they really can form a real sub-pack together, the seven of them, if all it takes is a little effort like this. And maybe Hunk can work as some sort of a buffer to help Keith get to know Lance and Pidge a little better, too.

And then Keith finds out that Pidge is planning to leave the team entirely to go look for her family.

The mere thought, the sight of her with the packed bag over her shoulder, is enough to make fire boil in his blood. “You can’t leave!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Pidge shouts at his face.

“If you leave, we can’t form Voltron. And that means we can’t defend the universe against Zarkon,” Keith tries to reason with her, tries to keep calm. Pidge is smart. She’s the smartest of all of them. Appealing to her sense of reason is the best way to convince her. Even if all Keith wants to do is to shake her and scream at her face, now more than he’s ever wanted it.

And at the lack of response on her face, he can’t help the way the volume of his voice begins to rise, his blood beginning to boil inside. “You’re not the only one with a family! All these Arusians have families, everyone in the universe has families!”

As if to twist the blade in the injury, Hunk says, “Yeah, I have a family, they live on Earth, I wanna be with them, is that…is that like a thing that can happen?”

“You want to leave too?” Allura demands, sounding just as annoyed as Keith feels.

“Of course I do!” Hunk says. “Look, Voltron is super cool, don’t get me wrong, but I never signed up for a lifetime in space fighting aliens.” Keith grits his teeth. “Keith, you get it right? Don’t you wanna go back home to your family too?”

“Of course I do!” Keith snaps, shaking off Hunk’s hand that is reaching for his shoulder. His voice comes out resembling a growl, but he can’t help it, can’t even bring himself to care. He’s furious. Don’t these fools understand anything? How can they be so blind? It feels like all the anger he’s been holding back is boiling over in him now, and he can’t hold it back anymore. It’s even worse now. He was starting to actually have hope, to think he could begin to rely on these people, to trust them to not act like selfish children for one dobosh.

“Do you think I want to be here?” he cries. “I want to go home so badly! But I’m not so selfish as to actually leave! Not when there’s finally a chance to change the course of this war, to bring peace to the universe!” He turns to Pidge, his throat aflame. “Don’t you realize how selfish you’re being? My family is out there every day fighting for what’s right, risking their lives in the process! And here you are, putting the lives of two people over the lives of everyone else in the entire universe-!”

“Keith,” Shiro says, his voice even as he grabs a hold of his arm, to pull him back from Pidge as much as to catch his attention. “Calm down. I understand how you feel, but this is not how a team works. People have to want to be a part of it, they can’t be forced.” Keith bites his lip, his eyes stinging and anger still simmering inside of him like embers. But he also can’t deny Shiro anything or bring himself to make things more difficult for him, so he forces himself to back off and quiet down.

He refuses to look at anyone, even as he hears Shiro turn to talk to Pidge. “If you wanna leave, we won’t try to stop you. But please, just think about what you’re doing.”

For a moment, Pidge doesn’t say anything, and Keith can smell her doubt, her hesitation, even as he still refuses to look at her. It still doesn’t hurt any less though when she says, “I’m sorry. You’re going to have to find someone else to pilot the Green Lion.”

In the end though, Pidge doesn’t get to go very far on her intended journey because it turns out they all have much bigger and worse things to worry about than her leaving. The Castle’s energy crystal gets blown up, they get attacked by Empire forces and Lance gets badly hurt in the process. They need everyone at work, completing their own missions, which means Pidge has to stay put for a while longer at least, too. Hunk and Coran go on their way to find a new crystal from a Balmera, Keith goes over to the Arusians’ village to figure out the direness of the situation with Allura joining him, and Shiro stays over to watch over the Castle and Lance.

It turns out have been a horrible idea to leave the Castle at all, however, because Sendak and his people manage to get inside and lock Keith and Allura out. The village was just a ruse to lure them out and separate the team. And no matter how much Keith screams or worries or punches at the particle barrier to let them in, nothing works. Shiro is trapped inside with the man who used to torment him so much and Keith can’t get to him, can’t do anything to aid him.

Thankfully, it turns out the situation is not completely hopeless, since they still have Pidge on the inside as well, free and ready to move. And Keith has to admit, she almost single-handedly saves them all from Sendak’s attack, helping him and Allura get back inside just in time to help before he kills everyone. With a little help from her, Shiro and Lance, who slips out of his unconscious state just long enough to shoot a distracting blow at Sendak, Keith manages to lure him behind Allura’s particle barrier prison. He has to admit it’s pretty satisfying to witness him banging uselessly against it, trying to break free, not unlike the way he was doing not so long ago outside the Castle.

‘That was for Shiro, you son of a malluck,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Perhaps now you know a bit about how he felt.’

Afterwards, when Lance has been put into a healing pod to recover from his injuries, Shiro has a chance to say what they’re all thinking, “Pidge, we can’t thank you enough for all you did. I can’t help but feel that you were meant to be a part of our team. But I understand if you wanna leave.”

“Yeah,” Keith forces out, much as it pains him to say. It feels like this battle on their own ground has brought him even closer to his team. They all worked together this quintant to save the situation. It would hurt even more if Pidge left now. He doesn’t think they could ever quite replace her. But he also knows now that she deserves to go if she really wants it. “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. That was wrong of me.”

“It’s okay,” Pidge says. “I forgot something too. My Dad used to tell me how close he was to his crew members. They were like family. Now I understand what he was talking about. I’m staying with you guys.” She breaks into a smile. “Let’s stop Zarkon for all of our families.”

Keith returns the smile, warmth pooling inside his gut. “Good to have you back on the team.”

…

Later that night, when everyone else has retired for bed, Shiro finds Keith once again at their usual spot.

“You should be resting. A lot happened today,” he says even as he settles down next to Keith on the observation deck.

“I could say the same thing to you,” Keith says, turning to smile at Shiro from the corner of his mouth. “Can’t sleep?”

“I guess I’m still relaying everything in my head,” Shiro admits. “So much has happened – changed – in such a short amount of time.”

“I understand,” Keith says. “It can’t have been easy for you to see Sendak.”

Shiro blinks. “Why do you say that?”

_ Quiznak _ . “I-I just heard that the Champion was being kept a prisoner on Sendak’s ship,” Keith hurries to say, to cover up his slip. “I thought you might have a hard time with it.” Shiro averts his eyes, lowering them down on the ground. Keith shifts a bit closer to him, hoping he might offer some comfort. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Nothing really to talk about,” Shiro says. “I still can’t remember all that much.”

“That’s okay,” Keith says, and reaches over to touch Shiro’s hand. “Do want to just be quiet tonight or talk about something else?”

“Well, I did want to say that I’m proud of you, Keith,” Shiro says, and to Keith’s surprise, actually moves to lace their fingers together on the ground, now raising up his eyes to give him a smile. “I know you’ve been struggling to find your place here, but I can see that things are clearly improving. And for that I’m truly glad, for more reasons than one.”

Keith smiles, even as he can feel his cheeks growing a bit warm. “Thanks, Shiro,” he says, squeezing Shiro’s hand on the ground. “I just…I’m trying to understand this from the others’ point of view, too. I am. And I do get how Pidge feels. I’ve lost family to the Empire as well. If I could save them, I would want to take that chance too.” He bites his lip. “But sometimes I still just get so…angry.”

“I get it,” Shiro says. “No matter what, you’re a child of war. You’ve been in this fight much longer than any of us. It’s bound to get to you.” He sighs, looking up ahead at the stars and the Arusian skies through the windows, rather than at Keith. “It…it gets to me, too, sometimes.”

“I know.”

“But Keith…it wouldn’t hurt for you or me to sometimes remember that we’re more than just soldiers in this war. We are also people, and we’re allowed to have needs and wants. We’re not sentries.” He turns to smile at Keith, his eyes sparkling with warmth. “I don’t expect you to be anything but what you are, but just remember…you’re still young. You’re allowed to have fun, and be sad, and even angry sometimes as long as you apologize if you hurt someone else in the throes of it. And today, that’s exactly what you did.”

Keith smiles. “Okay. I’ll try.” He pauses. “Actually, since we’re talking about this…if…if it’s not too much trouble…”

Shiro blinks. “Yeah?”

“Could you…” Keith trails off for a while, averting his eyes. His heart is hammering in his throat, his cheeks are burning. But he forces himself to say it. “Could you maybe give me a hug?”

Shiro blinks a few more times, but then his face melts into a gentle smile, his eyes full of warmth. “Of course. Come here.”

Keith leans over and lets Shiro pull him into his arms, squeezing him tight. It’s so similar to the way Shiro held him on Sendak’s ship that it almost makes Keith want to cry. Just being touched by Shiro makes him want to cry, really. He’s still so warm and firm against him, and being held by him makes Keith feel so very safe, even amongst everything that is going on in both of their lives right now, that Keith can’t help but clutch at the back of Shiro’s shirt.

“I’m sorry about the trouble,” Keith mumbles against Shiro’s strong shoulder. “My people, my family…we’re quite touchy. It’s actually been getting to me more than I can say that I’ve been lacking any sort of physical contact since I came here.”

“It’s no trouble,” Shiro murmurs into his hair, and Keith can’t help but scent his neck just a little in return. Shiro still retains that attractive base smell that he seems to just naturally have, but now it’s mixed with the Altean soap found on the Castle as well as the laundry wash of his Paladin pajamas. It makes chills run down Keith’s spine. “If you need anyone to hug, ever, I promise I’m available.”

“…Thank you,” Keith murmurs, although he almost wishes he could ask, ‘What if I want more than a hug?’

“We’ll get through this Keith,” Shiro says. “You’ll get to go home to your family. I promise.”

“Well,” Keith says, pulling back slightly from the embrace so he can look Shiro in the eyes. “Never mind that now. We still have work to do.” He pauses. “And I think this place is starting to feel more like a home, too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, some time has passed since the previous update, hasn't it? ^^;. I kinda got caught up in my other fics as well as my internship (which just finished today, actually), so...
> 
> This fic now has art for the first chapter [here](https://aether-staza.tumblr.com/post/180140690525/a-special-commission-for-nihonloves-lovely-fic)! A dear friend of mine comissioned aether-staza on Tumblr as a birthday gift for me :). A big thank you to both of them for their efforts <3.
> 
> This chapter is a bit of a filler but I think there are still some cute moments so I hope you enjoy :).

Lance needs to spend a quintant or so in the healing pod to properly get better, so each and every plan or goal their team may have needs to be put on hold in the meantime. They can’t do much with even one Paladin out of commission, not when Voltron is still the only thing with even a whisper of a chance against all the enemies they’ve come across.

This means a small waiting period of nothingness.

Without words, without a mutual voiced agreement, the team gathers to spend the time in-between in the med bay of the Castle, keeping an eye on Lance and his condition. It may seem unnecessary since the ere’ pod is nurturing him just fine on its own, and it’s not like there’s much any of them can do to improve or hasten the process. But Keith gets it. It was scary what happened to Lance, what almost happened to all of them and the universe, and the thought of how much worse it could’ve been weighing on all of them, extremely distressing and painful. Perhaps it’s finally truly starting to hit the younger Paladins what is at risk in these battles; how close Death lurks at every moment, how easily it could touch each and any of them. And when something like that hits you so closely and in a space they all likely viewed as a safe haven, there’s really no option but to watch over your loved ones as they recover, even if you might be unable to do anything to help personally. Keith knows the feeling of it more than well.

Perhaps it’s this feeling of understanding, or the intense situation they all just went through and overcame together, or the fact he actually does need to rest for once rather than train to regain his strength, but Keith actually finds himself joining his teammates at the med bay rather than heading off to be by himself. No matter the reason though, for once, he doesn’t even get the urge to leave when he’s found himself amongst his team. It seems the way he feels like the invasion of the Castle has brought the team closer together isn’t one-sided because everyone’s company suddenly feels a lot more welcoming and warm to him. For once, Keith doesn’t feel like he’s intruding in on the others’ time, and more like he’s becoming a settled part of the group. He finds that he can actually enjoy himself in their company, finds himself having  _ fun _ with them.

For the most part, they spend the time talking and playing a lot of games together. Apparently Hunk had a deck of Earth cards on him when he and the other Paladins were more or less plucked off their planet by the Blue Lion. Keith of course doesn’t know any of the games the other Paladins do and even the cards appear strange to his eyes, but the others don’t make fun of him for it. Instead, they smile indulgently and offer to teach him.

“Don’t worry about it, okay,” Pidge says to him, smiling from the corner of her mouth. “I don’t know all that many card games myself, and I’m actually  _ from  _ Earth!”

“I also don’t know these games any better than you do, Keith,” Allura says to him kindly. “We can all learn how to play them together.”

Keith returns the smiles they give him, feeling a bit shy but also strangely warm inside. He’s growing happier and happier with the fact that Pidge chose not to leave by the varga. “Okay.”

In the end, it turns out that Keith picks up the games pretty fast, and so does Allura. Coran, however, is a bit of a different story for the few rounds he joins in between his chores around the Castle.

“Someday I’ll have to teach you all some Monsters & Mana,” he huffs, making his moustache ruffle. “I guarantee you won’t beat me at that game.”

“What’s Monsters & Mana?” Pidge asks, raising her eyebrows.

“A traditional Altean game,” Coran says, stroking his moustache as he closes his eyes with pride. “I used to be quite the experienced player back in my day. I’ll show you all sometime, when we have a little more time and the Castle doesn’t need all these repairs.”

“Sounds fun. We’ll look forward to it then,” Shiro says with a smile. That alone is enough to make Keith look forward to it too.

Playing games does rise up memories for Keith, though, of days spent playing the sorts of games he knew in his childhood. Zanva was always the best at games in the sub-pack and she used to teach all of them to him when he was small. She would tell him how to best read his opponents’ movements and strategize based on them, and when it comes to that, most of these Earth games aren’t so different from the ones Keith already knows. He feels a twinge in his heart as he looks down at his cards, and can’t quite help the sigh that escapes him.

“Keith?” Hunk asks, drawing Keith’s attention up and out of his cards. “You okay buddy? You look kinda sad.”

“I’m fine,” Keith says, a little embarrassed at having been caught, lowering his eyes down again. “Just remembering some things.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Hunk asks gently. “It might help.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, Keith,” Shiro says, equally gentle, his eyes warm and soft as they look over at Keith.

“No, it’s okay. We’re a team. We should get to know each other better,” Keith says, giving Shiro a reassuring smile, before turning to talk to Hunk. “My…aunt used to be really good at games. She would teach me as well, when I was young. These games might be different from ours, but it still makes me remember her, to play.”

“You’re referring to her in the past tense,” Pidge points out.

“Yeah,” Keith says, nodding sadly, before turning to address her. “I do know how you feel, Pidge. My aunt’s been gone since I was seven. We have no idea what happened to her, if she’s dead or alive. All we know is that the Empire got her.” He bites his teeth down, trying to fight the burning in his eyes. Even after all this time, it’s hard to talk about Zanva.

“I’m so sorry Keith,” Shiro says softly. “That must’ve been hard.”

“We’ve dealt with it,” Keith says. “But we all still miss her, even now.”

“What was she like?” Allura ask gently.

Keith smiles sadly. “Incredibly smart. She was a brilliant scientist, and a wonderful teacher.” He turns to Pidge. “You would’ve liked her a lot, I think.”

Pidge smiles sympathetically. “I’m sure I would’ve.”

Slowly, Keith reaches his hand upwards by his chest, until he can glide his fingers through the smooth surface of his pendant, resting around his neck as always. “This was a present from her just before she disappeared. I always wear it in her memory.”

“I was wondering about that,” Hunk remarks, smiling gently. “That’s a nice gesture.”

Keith smiles at him in return. “I would’ve liked to see how you did playing against her, Hunk,” he says. Hunk’s been beating all of them at the games they’ve been playing. “No one could ever keep up with her at home. Maybe you could’ve given her a run for her money.”

Hunk grins. “It would’ve been great to play against her then.”

After that, conversation slowly begins to shift into happier and lighter topics as they all play a few more rounds of games. Each member of the team tells a little bit about themselves and their lives and families. Hunk apparently learned his way around the kitchen from his mother and his way around the machines from his father, while Pidge has an animal called ‘dog’ as a pet. She shows everyone pictures of it the flat orange communicator that she and all the Earth Paladins seem to carry. Keith learns all the other Paladins attended a military-style school, where Pidge, Hunk and Lance made up a team of flight cadets, and where Shiro held the rank of an officer. That Shiro was captured while he was on a space exploration mission to a distant moon in their solar system called Kerberos.

“Our way of life on Earth must sound kinda primitive to you though,” Hunk remarks, sounding almost apologetic as he shifts his cards around in his hand. “I mean, just the Altean technology is far more advanced than anything we have and it’s 10,000 years old! I can’t even imagine what you must be used to, Keith.”

Keith smiles a little sheepishly. “Maybe. I probably take most of it rather for granted,” he says.

“What about your home planet?” Allura asks. “I would love to hear more about it; to know if it’s a place I’ve visited before and how it may have changed in this time.”

Keith blinks in her direction few times, before slowly lowering his eyes down to his cards. He has to admire her spirit, wanting to learn about someone else’s home even when her own is long gone along with her people. Allura hasn’t shared much about herself or her family in these talks, seeming to prefer to listen instead. Perhaps it’s her way of coping, this case of not wanting to talk about all that has happened just yet; not wanting to quite acknowledge it, even to herself. Maybe her question to Keith now is also a part of it all; of not wanting to let her memories go by talking about them just yet and thereby redirecting the attention to someone else.

Keith can’t fault her for that, and she can’t know his circumstances either. But it still hurts a little to say, “I’m sorry to say, Princess, that I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had one.”

Shiro blinks, turning to him in a quick motion. “You don’t have a home planet?”

“Not really,” Keith says. “So we’re not found, my family switches location every few deca-phoebes. We have several bases and ships that we can inhabit. Those are the places where I’ve grown up. But the only planet that’s been even close to home for me has been Earth. And I haven’t been there since I was very little.”

“That’s so sad,” Hunk says softly, his brows furrowed and eyes big and shining in sympathy. “Everyone should have a home.”

“I’m very sorry, Keith,” Allura says softly. “I shouldn’t have pried. That was horribly untactful of me.”

“It is alright, Princess.” Keith shrugs. “For me, home may just never have been a place. Anywhere could be a home, if I had my family with me,” he says, biting his lip, lowering his eyes. “But I did sometimes long for a place of permanence too. A place where I could lay down roots, walk on solid ground and bask in the warmth of the planet’s sun and its light.”

“Do you remember anything about Earth? Since that is the closest you come to having a home planet,” Pidge asks.

“I don’t know if what I have are really memories or just something I’ve dreamed up,” Keith admits. “My Mom, father and me lived in a desert, pretty isolated. Sometimes I feel like I can remember the dry air and the smell of sand. The aroma of the food my father used to cook. The way it would feel when he’d hold me in his arms…” He bites his lip. “But I have no idea if those memories are real or if I’ve just imagined them based on his journals and my mother’s stories.” He snorts, a little tearfully. “They probably are. I was so young. I shouldn’t be able to remember any of this.”

“Hey,” Shiro says, his voice gentle and comforting as he reaches to place a warm big hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Whether or not those memories are real doesn’t really matter. You know it all happened. You have proof of your life on Earth and how much your father cared about you. Isn’t that the most important thing?”

Keith sniffles a little, and manages a smile in Shiro’s direction, locking his eyes with Shiro’s kind, warm ones. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“And hey,” Hunk says, breaking the moment and drawing both Keith and Shiro’s attention to himself. “Now you’ve got us! And we’re gonna tell you all about Earth! I’ll try to cook up something that resembles Earth food too. You’re gonna hear about Earth so much you’re gonna be sick of it!”

Keith chuckles softly, a little tearfully, wiping at the corners of his eyes with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Hunk.”

They play a few more rounds, the three other Paladins each telling Keith about the places on Earth they know and that they grew up in. Earth is evidently very different depending on where you live on it, which is endlessly fascinating to Keith. His parents had never went beyond their desert house because of their need to hide his mother’s identity, so he’s only ever heard or read about that house and the area surrounding it. Even his father’s journals don’t much describe the life outside of the desert. It feels incredible to realize Keith finally has this unique chance to know more about his father’s home planet and his own roots. Despite Hunk’s words, he doesn’t think he could ever get sick of it. Of any of it. Especially when he gets to share all of it with his team.

…

Lance eventually wakes up from his healing trance in the pod, and he comes out rather the same as he was before. Keith’s not sure if he should take it as a good sign of him being well on his way to recovery or be disheartened that Lance is still Lance. Everyone else seems to have come into some sort of a realization over the past few quintants about themselves and their role in the universe, as well as bonded as a team. Lance, who has been asleep for most of it, is the only one who seems unchanged, and Keith can’t help but be a little frustrated and hurt that he doesn’t even seem to remember their few earlier joint moments of teamwork in the fight against Sendak.

The good news in Lance waking up is that they can finally get moving and take direct action against the Empire. Hunk especially seems to have found his courage, inspiration and determination for working towards making the universe a better place, readier to work as a Paladin than ever before after his and Coran’s visit to the Balmera. All hints of him wanting to leave have vanished too, and Keith couldn’t be more grateful, even if the situation of the Balmera breaks his heart as much as it seems to do for Hunk’s. But at least now they can do something about it, about all of it.

“It’s up to us to set this right. This is what being a Paladin of Voltron is all about,” Hunk says, voicing what Keith has been thinking all along. It makes him smile. “It’s time to man up.”

“Then let’s get moving,” Shiro says, straightening up from where he’s been leaning against a chair. “Time to go defend the universe.”

Keith is just about to join Shiro on his way out to the control deck when Pidge’s voice stops all of them in their tracks. “Wait. I have something to say first.”

They cease in their places and turn back around to look at their shortest member.

“I need to come clean and I’m afraid this may change the way you all think about me,” Pidge continues, steady in her tone even as she can’t quite bring herself to look them in the eyes. “Just so there are no secrets between us anymore…I can’t ‘man up.’ I’m a girl.”

Keith’s first reaction is to smile, even as Pidge keeps rambling forward in her explanation and Lance’s whole face drops in shock. He knows how much courage that must’ve taken her to admit that, given how keen she seemed to be to hide her true identity previously. Everyone’s easy acceptance and acknowledgement that they had already mostly guessed her true colors in the first place warms him on the inside as well. Keith makes sure to express his own gentle acceptance of her as well, his pride of her for daring to come forward. The Blade has never treated its women any different from the men or any others. The women train just as hard as everyone else and are put to the test just as harshly. Keith’s mother is one of the toughest and bravest people he knows personally as well, and Alryn is one of the smartest. Pidge is like the two of them rolled into a very small, determined package, and Keith couldn’t be prouder to call her his teammate no matter what. He may not entirely understand why she wouldn’t just tell anyone she was a girl in the first place, but it seems like another one of those things he’s just missed out on knowing, so he doesn’t really have the urge to push or ask.

It doesn’t take long, though, for another feeling to settle in besides Keith’s joy and pride for Pidge. The emotion burns at his core like scorching fire, gnawing at his throat and twisting his guts.

Guilt.

Pidge was brave enough to share her secret. Shouldn’t Keith be brave enough to share his? Doesn’t his team deserve to know, especially when they haven’t ever tried to pry into his background? After they’ve shared about their own lives? Isn’t that what Pidge said, too, that there should be no more secrets between them? Is Keith holding the team back by not telling them, by not trusting them with this information?

Before Keith can make up his mind about whether to say anything or not right now, the moment of it passes, and everyone continues to move on their way out. Keith lets out a sigh. Of what emotion, he’s not sure. His legs feel unsteady beneath him as he stares down at his feet. It’s like he can’t move, frozen in place like he was that first day he arrived at the Castle of Lions. The guilt still eats at him on the inside, and yet he can’t make his mouth move and form the words, tell his teammates that he, too, perhaps has something to tell them.

“Keith?” he hears Shiro’s voice ask, raising his head to look at him. Shiro has already walked past Keith and closer to the door, looking back at him over one broad shoulder. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” Keith says softly, rubbing at his arm for a small sense of comfort to gather his determination. This is not the time to falter or linger on his guilt. There are more important things to take care of and be conscious of. If he can’t be good on this one thing and tell everyone the truth, the least he can do is try to be a good Paladin and a teammate, and help his comrades in their quest to better the universe.  

He forces his legs to move, rushing towards Shiro and the door out of the kitchen. “Let’s go.”

…

Now that Lance is awake and well, and the Castle has been repaired and branded with a new energy crystal, Allura and Coran can finally prepare to launch all of them off Arus. All Paladins get their own seats at the control deck for the take-off and flight, and Keith is beyond grateful for it; for the chance to gather himself and his strength before a big battle. His mind is still running wild and fast with far too many thoughts and his stomach keeps twisting with a mix of worry and guilt, even as he keeps telling himself the chance to really do anything about it is out of his hands for now. That he can’t let his emotions get the best of him. Their team still has a lot to do and much to fight for. Keith can’t jeopardize that by suddenly dropping a bomb like revealing that he’s Galra at everyone’s feet when they need to be able to work together as a team.

At least Hunk’s eagerness to get to the Balmera, as well as the way the others tease him about the girl he met there, Shay, provides an adequate distraction for Keith to escape his own feelings and thoughts. What works even better, though, is the distress signal that the Castleship picks up as they’re on their way to the Balmera.

There is some debate about what they should do about it, mostly because Hunk wishes to keep going and prioritize helping the Balmerans. In the end though, as the Paladins of Voltron, they can’t turn away from helping anyone that they come across who needs it no matter what. So, they decide to land on the arid moon that the distress signal is coming from and find out what the situation is and how they can assist.  

It turns out the distress call originated from a group of three: Rolo, Nyma and a cyber-unit they call Beezer. Lance seems enthralled with the lady of the group, Nyma, and Pidge seems equally taken with Beezer. Their ship has been damaged and thereby they can’t get off the moon they’re on without some help and extra parts. The three of them explain they’re rebels, parts of the resistance against the Empire. By the looks of them, Keith thinks it’s safe to assume they’re in the fringe rebellion groups.

“Do you know anything about these guys?” Hunk leans over to discreetly whisper to Keith as Allura talks and negotiates with the group of three. “You know, from your resistance days? I don’t trust them.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” Keith admits softly. “But my organization was quite off-branch. We worked alone with our own in secret. Not with any others. I wouldn’t know much.”

It’s just about as well, because their new acquaintances don’t seem to have heard of their group or Voltron either. It’s not that surprising, given how old the legend is and how their team been stuck on Arus for the better part of the last movements, not getting nearly as much done as any of them would like yet.

Still, Keith quickly makes up his mind to follow Hunk’s example and be cautious in his approach to these strangers. He can’t read the group very well with his intuition; he can’t be 100% sure of how genuine their intentions are by that alone. Keith doesn’t think they’re too malicious from what he can tell, not in the way the Empire is, but he also couldn’t say they’re entirely on their side either. They don’t really have to be either; Keith’s fine if they’re just on their own side, so long as that doesn’t mean harm to his own team or Voltron in general. But as long as he doesn’t completely know, it’s best to be on his guard. It’s the way of the Blade after all, instilled in Keith’s bones from kithood.

At the same time, Keith also can’t help the pang of empathy he feels for Rolo when he recalls the story of how his planet was destroyed and he was taken captive by the Empire. Just hearing Rolo’s story makes a flame of anger heat up in the pit of Keith’s belly. What is especially horrible about it is that he knows Rolo is one of the lucky ones. Even with his lost home and leg, he’s at least free now and alive, amongst people who he seems to care about and who care about him in return. He has found his own equivalent of a sub-pack, has been able to rebuild his life even to the bare minimum of it. Most people who have been through what he has don’t even have what he has now.

Keith can’t help the way he has to bite his teeth together in rage as he thinks about how much the Empire has taken from people, including people Keith personally knows and cherishes. Shiro’s arm, his mother’s home planet and first family, his blood father’s and most likely Zanva’s lives…

Rolo also has some information about the Empire to share. What he says is nothing new to Keith, but at least his words function as a good way for everyone else to learn the information too without Keith having to think of a way to slip it into a conversation. And it does make Keith trust Rolo a little bit more when the information he gives is accurate, even if he makes sure to still keep his guard up.

It also helps that Shiro seems to trust Rolo, the two of them having the shared experience of having been held captive at the hands of the Empire and losing a limb to them. It’s also clear to Keith that Shiro is desperate to have allies in this war, to feel like it’s not just the seven of them against a 10,000-deca-phoebe-old Empire. It causes twinges in Keith’s heart as he wonders, not for the first time, if he should just contact his family and have them join up with Voltron. If the risk of revealing the truth about himself would be worth the alliance.

But Keith also wasn’t lying in what he told the team all those movements ago when they were still learning how to form Voltron; he truly has no idea if the Blades would even be willing to work with Voltron, even with him as one of the Paladins. The Blade has never had allies before. They don’t even work together with other rebel forces even though they know of them. Partly because they can’t be sure they’d be welcomed, Galra as they are, partially because the Blade just doesn’t trust others, doesn’t trust outsiders. There’s a reason the Trials are so difficult to pass. Only those deemed the most worthy can join the Blade and work with them. And as powerful as Voltron is, as much progress as they’re all making as a team…Keith just doesn’t know if it would be enough to impress the Blade or convince them.

Either way, it’s not the time to be thinking about that at the moment. There are more pressing matters to be handled. So for now, Keith keeps to sticking close to Shiro just in case. He’s still not sure how much they can trust these people.

In the end, it turns out Hunk was right in his hunch, and the group was merely trying to trick them in order to capture the Lions. Lance ends up tied to a tree by the work of Nyma, with his Lion stolen, and Keith can’t help the eyeroll that escapes him when he finds out.  _ Of course  _ it would be Lance.

The rest of the Paladins hurry off to their Lions and begin chase. They’re about to catch up when the trio’s ship flies out into the asteroid field, smoothly dodging the rocks like it’s nothing. It’s probably familiar territory to them.

“We’ll never get through this asteroid field!” Pidge groans in the comms.

“Maybe I can just bust through?” Hunk suggests and immediately attempts to just hurl himself into the asteroids before Keith has a chance to stop him. It goes about as well as could be expected, the asteroids beginning to bump into each other and Hunk in the weightless space at the force of the Yellow Lion’s power, and Keith can’t help but wince as he watches it all happen.

“Shiro,” Keith says into the comms, shaking his head and taking on his most convincing and calm tone, hoping he’ll be able to come across as someone reliable and dependable. “I can fly through the field. Red is the fastest Lion. She can dodge the asteroids in time.”

There is a pause. “Do you think you can do it?” Shiro asks.

“I know I can,” Keith says. If there is one thing he’s sure of in himself, it’s his piloting skills. “I’ve been flying since I was little, and this isn’t my first asteroid field.”

“Then go ahead,” Shiro says. “Flush them out.”

Keith smiles. “Roger that! See you on the other side.”

And Keith flies. He and Red touch upon some of the asteroids for leverage and speed, but all in all it’s a smooth ride and they don’t bump into anything by accident, each movement deliberate and intentional. Keith keeps their maneuvers light and fast, and all of it is achingly familiar with the way adrenaline begins to pour through his body, making his heart pound and his mouth spread into a smile. Red purrs in his mind as they hasten their speed, as glad as Keith is of the rush and a chance to show off what they’re made of. They feel more unified than ever, almost like Keith isn’t even flying a ship but rather just himself through space. He feels like he’s seeing and experiencing everything through Red’s eyes, like he’s floating.

Even the laser beams the ship he’s chasing tries to aim at them don’t do much and Keith and Red give it back as good as they get. They manage to destroy the trio’s ship’s blasters, and then some, until the ship can barely move anymore, and that’s when Keith gets on its roof, Red’s claws, his hands, digging into its metal, tight and deep enough to hold on. That hold is enough for Keith to lift the ship with Red and carry it off with him to where the other Lions are waiting. The game is over.

Keith still can’t help but tease Lance a little bit over the comms afterwards though. Frankly, he deserves it for the trouble he caused. And it’s something Keith has always wished he could do with someone younger than him when he was the one being teased in the Blade.

The Voltron team decides to spare the trio’s lives too, merely leaving them stranded like they were pretending to be to hail them. Keith even finds himself almost believing it when Rolo says he hopes they will stop Zarkon one day. Perhaps not all he said was a lie. Keith hopes it wasn’t.

Still, this particular mission leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth. It certainly wasn’t the best way to start Voltron’s off-Arus run. All he can do though is hope not everyone will be like this.

…

In the end, saving the Balmera becomes a lot more complicated than anyone probably thought it would be, the difficulty of their mission raised all the more by the Balmera beginning to die and collapse around and under all of them. This means that they can’t attack as much so they don’t harm it further. They manage to work around it, but only because there aren’t any actual Empire ships present to greet them and for them to take down. All they have to deal with and to destroy is the mining facility itself and its defences.

“Where are all the troops?” Keith says into the comms. “They’re not coming to the surface.”

“Yeah, I remember seeing a lot of Galra guys down in the mines,” Hunk says.

“We’ve located a hangar full of Galra fighters just below the surface,” Allura informs them from where she is back at the Castleship, overseeing the situation. “Someone has to take those out before they can launch.”

“I can do it,” Keith says. “I’ve infiltrated ships in the Empire when I was in the resistance. This won’t be much different from that.”

No one says anything for a moment. It feels like they’re all waiting for something, for a word from their leader.

“Shiro?” Keith asks, cold sweat beginning to form at the back of his neck. “Is that alright with you?”

“Y-yes, sorry,” Shiro says, appearing on his screen. “Go. But take Lance with you.”

Keith blinks. “I’m used to working alone. I can do it by myself.”

“Maybe, but it’s best for you to have back-up,” Shiro says calmly. “Lance, can I trust you to follow Keith’s lead on this one?”

“Ugh,  _ fine _ ,” Lance groans. “For you, anything, Shiro.”

“Good.” Shiro smiles. “Hunk, you head to the prison to rescue Shay and the other Balmerans. Pidge and I will track down the Galra soldiers. And remember, they’re likely luring us down there on purpose, so be careful.”

Everyone gives off their sounds of affirmation, and Keith turns Red’s course towards the hangars on the map Allura sends him and Lance, the Blue Paladin following at his heels.

…

Sneaking down below ground into the hangar goes surprisingly well, given that it’s Lance Keith is working with. But he seems to either have taken Shiro’s words to heart or is taking this mission more seriously than Keith thought, because for once he seems to trust Keith to lead him forward and into the control room. It honestly makes Keith wonder if Shiro somehow sensed how he was feeling about him and Lance not quite seeing eye-to-eye yet earlier and sent them off down here together to force them to work together and past their differences.

It also helps their cause that the entire hangar is only being guarded by a few sentries, and Keith and Lance can hide from them fairly easily in the pathways above the hangar leading to the control room. Without a peripheral vision that would allow them to look up, they’re quite in the safe.

Still, it’s all a little too eerily familiar to what Keith used to do, even if it’s also much more fulfilling. Before, all he could really do was gather information while sneaking around like this. At least this time, he can really feel like he’s making a difference and doing something.

“I can’t make anything of this,” Lance says as they’re pouring over the control panel. “It’s all Galra gibberish.”

“Let me see, I can read it,” Keith says, looking over his shoulder and starting to eye the words.

“You can read Galran?” Lance asks, looking up at him.

“I’ve…lived under the Empire for a long time. Just about everyone who lives within the Empire knows Galran,” Keith says, keeping his tone soft, even as he can feel the back of his neck breaking out in cold sweats. Best lies are always composed mostly of truth. And what he says is the truth. It’s just not the whole truth of why he knows the language.

Keith takes in a calming breath as he begins to properly read over the text.

“What’s it say?” Lance asks.

Keith doesn’t answer in words, just places his hand over what he can now tell is the control switch. The facility has very simple systems and can easily be worked by anyone who has Galra blood. All of it is fairly standard as far as any sort of Empire tech, but Lance doesn’t need to know that.

Keith lets out a short sigh of relief as the bay doors begin whirring shut above them as soon as he touches his palm over the switch.

“Nicely done, man!” Lance says, giving him a somewhat painful slap on the back. “Guess it pays to have an insider on the team after all.”

Before Keith can retort or ask what exactly he means by that from the heart in his throat, Shiro’s voice calls them to the lower levels, to the core of the Balmera, and they don’t get the chance to talk more. Keith destroys the control panel on his way out with his bayard for good measure, Lance shooting off the doorlock once they’ve left the control room, so no one can reverse them shutting off the bay doors. They make a good effort of working together as a team to take down the guarding sentries on their way down, too, doing it in a way that will hurt the Balmera as little as possible.

In the end though, all of the Paladins get shut in in the underground chamber along with Hunk’s friend Shay. Going to the lower levels, to the Balmera at all, was a trap, a ploy to finish them off, to steal the Lions and to destroy the Castleship all in one devastating blow.

Thankfully, Shay is able to help them with their predicament. Despite the dire situation, Keith can’t help but be fascinated by the chance to witness her communicate with the Balmera. It’s just like he used to read from his tablet as a kit, learning about the ways of other planets and their people. The intentions of the message are also a success, Shay and her family communicating with each other and with their living planet to make it move and give, to destroy the door keeping them shut in. The team manages to make it back to their Lions and take control of them just in the nick of time before the Empire takes off with them.

After that, the fight begins for real, one big blur of movement, action and reaction in rapid-fire speed. It doesn’t help that the Lions and Voltron still have to hold back in order to not harm the Balmera further. The Empire and its troops have no such concerns and with them attacking at full force with both fleet ships and the massive cruiser they’ve employed, not to mention sending in a new Robeast…the circumstances seem very dire for a while, even if all of the Paladins have managed to unlock new abilities in their Lions and Hunk being able to use his bayard in Voltron, forming a cannon. For a while it even seems like the only option is to evacuate the Balmerans from their home as the Lions distract the Robeast from attacking them.

In the end though, with everyone’s help and cooperation, and Allura’s Altean magic healing the Balmera (Keith has to admire her courage and strength), all of them manage to free it and its people together. The healed Balmera even seals off the Robeast, as if to help them in return and thank them for freeing its people, who can finally look upon the sunlight of the world.

Despite the rough start of it, and the perilous journey in getting to the end, it’s one of the most rewarding days Keith’s ever lived.

Afterwards, Coran and Shiro help Allura get back to the Castle to get some rest, while Lance actually gets something akin to the parade he was hoping for. The Balmerans insist on celebrating their liberation with the Paladins by sharing dinner and drinks with them. Keith’s exhausted, but he forces himself to stay awake and enjoy the merriment. He thinks he falls asleep a few times here and there on various people, though.

At some point, Keith must’ve fallen asleep for good, because he wakes up on the ground, covered with a blanket. His body aches under his movements for having slept on a hard surface for the first time in a while, and from the battles before. Rubbing his neck to try and get some blood flowing, Keith turns his eyes to the sky and can tell by the lack of stars and the way light peeks from skyline that it’s almost dawn. As he glances around himself, he sees most of his teammates asleep around him, also covered in blankets and some of them laying with the Balmerans who are also asleep.

But he can’t see Shiro anywhere. Hunk isn’t around either.

At first Keith wonders if the two of them just went back to sleep at the Castle, but as he looks around a bit more, he finds Shiro not too far away. He’s sitting on a low cliff above them, his feet dangling off the side of it, looking over the Balmera like a beautiful, wise, avenging guardian; like a messenger of Marmora.

Keith doesn’t give himself a moment to think or to hesitate. He just tosses his blanket off his body and gets on his feet, hurrying towards the start of the cliff as sunlight begins to peek over the horizon more and more, its light reflecting off the newly restored crystals on the surface of the Balmera, making the whole planet glimmer and sparkle like a sea of light.

The green-tinted sunrise over the Balmera is even more breathtaking from the cliff as Keith steps behind Shiro. It’s one of the most beautiful things Keith’s ever gotten to witness, even without the fact that sunrises are a novelty for him in general, since the bases he’s grown up in usually didn’t orbit one specific star the way planets do. Before he arrived at the Castle of Lions on Arus, he’d only seen a few solar movements in his lifetime, on trips with his Mom or missions on planets, and on Arus he usually slept past them.

“Hey,” Keith says as he takes the last few steps over to Shiro.

“Hi,” Shiro says, turning to smile at him over his shoulder.

“Do you mind company or should I go?” Keith asks, his cheeks feeling a bit warm as he rubs his arm.

“I don’t mind,” Shiro says, his cheeks turning pink as well. He looks almost ethereal with the glow of the sun reflecting off his skin and beautiful eyes. It makes Keith’s heart catch. “I always enjoy your company.”

Keith manages a nervous smile, and he steps over to take a seat next to Shiro. “We did good here, didn’t we?”

“We sure did,” Shiro says, smiling warmly at him.

“I’ve never had a home planet, like I told you before,” Keith says softly. “So I can’t really imagine what the Balmerans must’ve been going through. But I’m glad they can now stay here, free and happy.”

“Me too,” Shiro says. And, to his surprise, he moves his hand to cover Keith’s. Shiro’s hand is warm and big over his, and it seems to warm up Keith’s whole being as Shiro looks at him with such unbridled kindness. “And Keith, if you want…when all of this is over, we’ll take you to see Earth. All of us. It can be your home planet too.”

Keith turns to him sharply. “Really?”

“Of course. You were born on Earth after all.” Shiro smiles. “I’ll show you around when we get there.”

Keith can feel his smile dampen a little, as a thought occurs to him. He licks his lips. He doesn’t want to bring it up. Not now. Not while they’re having such a nice moment. He promised himself he’d be patient.

“What’s wrong?” Shiro asks, and Keith can’t help but let out a soft groan. Of course he’d see Keith was upset about something. “Do you not want to go to Earth?”

“It’s not that. It’s really kind of you to offer, Shiro, and I don’t think anything could make me happier than to go see Earth with you, but…” Keith trails off, averting his eyes.

“But…?”

Keith sighs. “I guess I’ve just been noticing, thinking…and you don’t have to say anything now if you don’t want to, but…” he pauses, licks his lips, thinks his words over. “You don’t share much about yourself. Not when it’s just the two of us, nor when Pidge and Hunk were telling stories about themselves and about Earth. And it just makes me wonder…”

Shiro sighs, looking down at his knees. “I guess I’m just not ready to talk about it. There are a lot of sad memories. And I feel like my time with the Galra is not the only thing I’ve forgotten. A lot of my past has become more blurred too.”

“I’m sorry,” Keith says, moving his hand to take a proper hold of Shiro’s and squeezing it. Shiro squeezes his hand back, giving him a hint of a sad smile, as if to show he’s not really upset. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I don’t mind,” Shiro says, and Keith can see in the warmth of his eyes, hear it in the softness of his tone, that he means it. “It’s different, when it’s just you. I don’t really know why, but I feel like I can let my guard down around you more than with the others.”

Keith can feel his lips widen into a soft smile. “Me too, with you.”

“You haven’t shared much about yourself either, though. Nothing revealing anyway. A few personal details, but nothing major,” Shiro says softly. “I’m not going to ask, but…I feel like you are holding back something.”

And despite all his worries, when Shiro says it, it actually feels like a weight lifted off Keith’s shoulders. Like he can breathe a little easier. Shiro may not know what his secret is, and Keith still can’t know how he’d react if he found it out, but…just knowing that he doesn’t despise Keith for hiding something of himself, and even having secrets himself…it helps a little. It makes the burden of Keith’s secret a little less painful to carry.

“You’re right,” Keith admits, looking down at his knees and nodding softly. “I’m just not ready to share yet either. A part of me wants to, but…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Shiro says gently. “We all have our secrets, and we still haven’t known each other that long. But I hope you’ll one day be able to trust me – us – enough to share everything.”

Keith looks up from his knees, staring straight at brightening sunrise. “Me too.”

Shiro squeezes his hand. Keith squeezes back. They watch the sun rise above the Balmera together in silence like that, holding onto each other.

For a moment, the world is at peace.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry that this took a while, but a lot of things happened with me and my betas and the chapter just didn't wanna come out :/.
> 
> Special thanks to meoqie and chibichocopaws for beta-reading this! ❤︎.

After the battle and revival of the Balmera, everyone in the Voltron Team is justifiably exhausted and in need of some rest, no one more so than Allura. A few easy-going quintants are in order.

Allura mostly retreats to the privacy of her own chambers and the AI simulations of her lost life. Keith imagines she’s taking the time to really think of everything that has happened as much as she’s gathering her strength. The team has been constantly in motion for the past phoebes since Voltron was first formed, and he doesn’t think Allura has had much opportunity to really understand all that she has lost quite yet. He’s seen that sort of behavior many times in the past; Blades who had experienced loss throwing themselves in the cause for the slightest hope that it might numb the pain, or perhaps make the sacrifices they’ve had to endure seem more worth everything. He’s not sure how healthy it is for Allura to immerse herself in images that aren’t real, but he wouldn’t tell her to stop even under the threat of a ryghvar’s song. She needs to grieve in her own ways.

For the time being, Allura rests, and Coran looks after her and slowly works on fixing up the Castle from everything it has been through of late. The Paladins make the best of the time they’ve been granted together; they play some more games as a group, Lance joining in this time as well. Pidge and Hunk even manage to hack into the Castle’s systems to make it play some of the movies locked in its archives for all of them to watch. Keith doesn’t understand much of these old Altean films, or really see their appeal, but he figures it’s probably due to cultural differences. Regardless, it’s fun to watch them – and be confused – with the other Paladins and to laugh at the overdramatic love scenes with everyone.

The fact that he gets to sit next to Shiro and lean against him just a little during their movie watching doesn’t hurt either.

Keith’s not sure exactly when it happened, but now he can feel that all the Paladins are starting to really come together as a proper team. They all talk more amongst each other, and he’s grateful to realize that nowadays when he starts to feel left out, someone will remember to ask him to join in their activities. Hunk asks him to help out with cooking and to test out his new recipes in the kitchen. Pidge asks him to hand her pieces of cord while she works on trying to hack into Sendak’s crystal or just to listen while she brainstorms out loud. Lance sometimes asks if he wants to spar together.

As for Shiro, Keith and him keep to their private nightly meet-ups, sometimes talking, sometimes not. Keith keeps learning more and more about Shiro, sharing whatever he can in return and eating each new piece of information up like the sweetest candy. There are still parts of himself and of Shiro, that each of them keeps guarded and locked away for one reason or another, but Keith still feels closer to him now than he ever did before. It feels like the two of them have reached a new sort of understanding of each other since their talk on the Balmera. Just knowing the other is not telling the other everything helps a little, to not have to pretend there are no secrets between them. It’s relieving to have dropped at least one pretense.

What also helps keep Keith in better spirits is that the team is growing to be more physically affectionate with him as they all grow closer. Pidge falls asleep against him sometimes during the movies. Hunk has started giving him hugs goodnight, and even Lance gives him a friendly pat or slap on the shoulder once in a while. Shiro holds his hand sometimes, gives him warm hugs and lets Keith lean on him during the movies. It makes it so much easier for Keith to breathe and just be, when he’s not so starved for contact anymore. Keith still misses his family of course, but the longing is not the same searing ache that it was at the beginning of this new part of his life. He’s starting to think he may have a new family growing here after all; a new sub-pack for him to rely on. It all makes him love being a Paladin even more.

…

It’s a little less than a movement of rather mundane, slow travel through the stars, when it first starts to become clear everyone is growing a bit antsy with the lack of anything to do or anywhere to go. The Castle of Lions is big, of course, but even its massive hallways can start to feel suffocating when all they get to see are the same white and blue walls each quintant. And so, Pidge starts immersing herself in her computer more, Hunk himself in the kitchen and Lance can’t seem to sit still long enough to get anything actually done. Shiro has frown lines starting to form around his forehead, and Keith has to burn a lot of restless energy at the training deck just to keep sane in the midst of all of this.

“I think we should talk about what we’re going to do next,” Shiro says during breakfast one morning.  “We’ve been twiddling our thumbs long enough.”

“Oh, thank God,” Lance groans, throwing his hands up. “I was going insane with this boredom.”

Keith hides a snort, but joins in with the others’ murmurs of agreement.

“Allura is still not well enough for us to head to battle, I’m afraid,” Coran speaks up, a concerned frown on his face as he sets his spoon down onto his empty plate.

“I figured,” Shiro says, casting his eyes around the table, obviously noting its missing seventh occupant. “But I think we should still do  _ something _ . We can’t afford to waste too much time.”

“Well, what if we do something about Sendak?” Pidge says. “We still have him in our clutches, but we haven’t really done anything with that.”

“I don’t think we should awaken him,” Keith warns. “He’s dangerous. He might be locked up at the moment, but we should still be cautious.”

“You’re probably right.” Shiro nods.

“I second that,” Hunk says, eyes darting nervously from side-to-side. “I definitely don’t like the idea of him up and about, even under lockdown.”

“Plus, I don’t think he’d tell us much,” Lance comments. “I mean, we’re the good guys. We’re not gonna, like, torture him or anything. Right?”

“All we really need to do is extract information from him somehow,” Pidge says, raising her hand to her chin and narrowing her eyes in thought. “If only there was some…Wait!” she cries, her eyes lighting up. She turns to Coran. “Coran, this ship has the ability to extract memories, right?”

“Yes, so that King Alfor’s aims and intentions could be kept intact even after his passing,” Coran says. “You’re not suggesting…”

Pidge nods, grinning wide. “If we utilize that technology, we can use it to gain intel directly from Sendak’s brain. No interrogation needed.”

“Pidge, that’s brilliant!” Shiro says, his eyes lighting up with a pride that forces Keith to hide a smile behind his hand.

“I’ll get to work on it right now,” Pidge says, getting up from her chair. “Hacking into Sendak’s crystal wasn’t really going anywhere anyways.”

“It might not work,” Coran says. “The technology was used to keep Altean memories alive, not to interrogate prisoners. It has never been used on an unwilling participant.”

“I understand that,” Shiro says. “But we have to try anyway, even for the slightest chance of gaining any intel at all.”

Coran nods. “Very well then,” he says, getting to his feet. “Come along, Pidge.”

Pidge blinks. “You’re coming too?”

“Of course,” Coran says, stroking his moustache with his fingers. “I’m not going to allow you to tamper in the Castle’s technology without supervision. Not when we don’t even know what might happen.”

“Fiiiiine,” Pidge groans with a shrug, and the two of them go on their way.

Unfortunately, Pidge and Coran’s work takes the better part of a quintant, which leads to more time where none of them have little to nothing to do. It somehow feels even worse and heavier to bear with the knowledge that something is about to happen in a matter of vargas. 

It feels as though they all breathe a giant sigh of relief when early next morning, they are all called to gather around the memory pod currently keeping Sendak unconscious and trapped. Coran puts a few finishing touches on the system, Pidge giving him a hand. 

“Keep in mind, I can’t promise this will work,” Coran says.

Shiro nods for all of them. “We have to try.”

Coran nods back at him, and turns the system on. A bit of light energy appears to release itself into the pod from the top, creating a motion that rather resembles suction. However, nothing else happens at all. Sendak doesn’t even wince in his sleep, and certainly no intel appears for them.

“Uh, is this what’s supposed to be happening?” Hunk asks.

“Let’s give it some time,” Shiro says calmly.

So they do. They all wait around, but nothing changes for several vargas. Bit by bit, they all start to grow weary with staring at the pod. Keith can see Lance and Hunk’s heads drooping from the corner of his eye, and he himself can’t help but tap his foot continuously and finger the end of his braid hanging over his shoulder.

Guilt begins to burn at the back of his throat the longer they wait and the more impatient they all grow. If he could finally get in touch with his family, and have the Blades become allies with Voltron, they might manage something, even without Sendak’s memories. Keith may not know much himself, but he’s sure Kolivan would have valuable information for all of them to use against the Empire with Voltron’s power backing them up in this fight.

One by one, each of the younger Paladins leaves to do something more valuable with their time, Coran forcibly dragging Lance off to work on repairing and recharging the Castle’s systems. Only Shiro remains still and unwavering as usual, standing sturdy right where he was when they first started this process. Keith can imagine how long periods of waiting have been drilled into him, both during his time as a prisoner and before then. This must seem miniscule in comparison.

Truth be told, even Keith wishes he could be doing something else right now; he feels the itch beneath his skin to go do something, and to work off all this restless energy at the training deck. But if Shiro is so determined to see this process through, shouldn’t Keith stay with him? Sendak is responsible for so much of Shiro’s pain. Keith shouldn’t leave him to deal with that on his own. He’s been trained to deal with boredom just like any Blade, since it can be a very effective form of torture. He should be able to handle this much.

“Keith,” Shiro says, making Keith jump in surprise. He hadn’t expected Shiro to speak. But what is even more surprising than him speaking is that Shiro actually turns to look at him over his shoulder, his eyes and smile warm. “You don’t have to stay. It’s enough if I remain here.”

Keith bites his lip, swallowing in guilt. “I can stay. I should. It can’t be easy being face-to-face with Sendak like this, let alone by yourself. Even if he is unconscious.”

“It’ll be fine,” Shiro says. “I’m fine. He can’t hurt me here. I’m in control. I’m not afraid.”

Keith searches his eyes for any indication that Shiro might be lying, any notion in his scent for tension. But all he detects is determination and resolve; a bit of Shiro’s strong sense of justice that makes him fill with pride.

“Go on,” Shiro says, smiling gently. “I can tell you’re bored.”

“Sorry,” Keith says, trying to stop his foot from tapping by looking at it, cheeks heating up. “I know I should be able to handle this, but…”

“It’s okay,” Shiro says. “You don’t like sitting still. Neither do I, not really. But this is something I need to see through.” His smile drops, brows furrowing in fortitude, even if his eyes remain kind. “And I feel like I’d even prefer to do it on my own. It’s something I must face for myself.”

Keith smiles a little in understanding at that. “Okay, I get it,” he says. “I’ll head off to the training deck. Come find me there if you need me.”

“I will,” Shiro says, before turning back to look at Sendak.

Keith doesn’t say anything more, and slips away as quietly as he can, leaving Shiro to it.

…

Once at the training deck, Keith starts out on the lower difficulty settings with the gladiator bot, getting warmed up properly to really get to the swing of things. Working up sweat like this always has a way of making Keith feel more steady on his feet, more clear-headed and focused, and this time is no exception. The low and easily beatable training levels work well in making him feel a bit better about himself as well, making him feel less useless, and since he doesn’t have to hold back or worry about anyone else alone like this, he soon decides to try for higher level training sequences.

“Start training level six!” he calls to the system.

As commanded, another gladiator bot drops down from its regular slot in the ceiling. Keith quickly moves to swing his bayard sword to meet the gladiator’s alike weapon. They battle it out for a while, Keith mostly blocking the gladiator’s attacks more than anything. This gladiator is vicious and unrelenting, and although Keith can keep himself unharmed for now, he can’t actually manage to get an attack in. It doesn’t help that he’s also starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and at the back of his neck. Something is not right.

“End training sequence!” Keith yells. Normally, he doesn’t let himself call quits in the middle of training unless he’s in mortal peril, since in real battle there is no option for doing that. But this time he can’t help himself. His stomach turns with the nervous feeling, cold sweats starting to break out, his whole body crying out  _ wrong, wrong, wrong _ . He can’t stay here, he just can’t. He needs to trust his instincts.

Despite his command, the gladiator robot doesn’t vanish, doesn’t even cease in its pursuit of him. If anything, its blows grow even more vicious, as though it’s really coming for his throat.

“End training sequence!” Keith cries again, a desperate edge entering his tone as he dodges another blow from the bot, just barely escaping unharmed. The attack is strong enough to send his bayard flying through the air to the other side of the training deck.

Keith quickly glances between his bayard on the floor and the door, judging his options. He ducks down to avoid another attack from the bot, before quickly summoning his weapon back to his hand. With it, he rushes towards the door, keeping the gladiator bot in the corner of his eye the whole time so it doesn’t get to him. He barely manages to dodge a hit to his back, feeling the gladiator’s sword skim the ends of his hair, but he avoids the brunt of the blow and is able to get out of the room and shut the door behind himself otherwise unharmed.

Frightened and exhausted beyond belief, Keith moves to lean against the wall by the door, trying to catch his breath and calm his thoughts. Is this another malfunction in the Castle? But the training deck has been working fine in the quintants before. Nothing like this has ever happened. And it almost got him killed.

Keith barely has time to finish that thought before he sees the gladiator’s glowing sword cut through the crack between the shut double doors to the training deck, beginning to force it open. At that moment, Keith doesn’t think anymore. He just runs, going as fast as he can, even as he hears the mechanical footsteps following after him down the corridors of the Castle. He doesn’t know where he’s going or what his plan is beyond ‘getting away.’ All he has are his instincts, and at the moment they’re all telling him to flee. He’s distantly aware of the fact that his hair is growing looser and looser from its braid the more he runs, starting to flow freely around his shoulders. The gladiator must’ve managed to cut the tip of his hair off and now it’s no longer tied up.

“Quiznack,” Keith hisses under his heaving breaths. This, on top of everything else. If the bot catches up to him, and he has to battle it again, having his hair get in the way will be hugely inconvenient. There is a reason he always wears it tied up after all.

As he turns a corridor, a panicked voice screaming for help reaches Keith’s ears, as well as a robotic voice counting down numbers and the sound of a fist banging on a surface. The voice screaming is Lance’s, he realizes, and forces his legs to muster up any strength they might find to go faster. He may not be sure what’s going on, but he also knows Lance wouldn’t sound so panicked if it wasn’t something serious.

As he turns another corner towards where the sounds are coming from, Keith comes to view of Lance trapped in one of the airlock chambers, banging on the glass and crying for Keith’s help. Keith feels his stomach drop as he realizes the countdown must be for the opening of the airlock, and Lance is still in just his everyday clothes. He’ll die if the airlock opens with him in there, getting drawn into the open space without the protection of the paladin armor.

Before Keith can move to let Lance out, the gladiator catches up to him. He has to turn to swing his sword against it again, this time with a more desperate edge than ever before. Between fighting for his life and every tick counting, Keith can’t get close to the controls to stop the airlock in time. He sucks in a pained breath as the airlock opens up on Lance, leaving his teammate hanging onto a ridge in the chamber for dear life as space begins sucking him out.  

Keith blinks, dodging another attack from the gladiator, thinking fast and frantic. A solution dawns on him - use one problem to solve the other..

As Keith’s bayard crosses with the gladiator’s sword, he holds onto the contact, pushing the gladiator back against the door of the airlock and momentarily immobilizing the bot. He uses the momentum created to reach towards the button for the airlock with the tip of his bayard. It thankfully opens, and his plan works; the suction of space is powerful enough to pull the gladiator out into the open nothingness.

Keith reaches out to Lance, managing to grab a hold of his hand and help drag him back to the safety of the Castle. He only has enough remaining energy to shut the airlock again before he falls down to the floor, sweaty, exhausted and numb from the waist down from sheer fright.

“What were you doing out there?” he gasps out at Lance, who is panting on the floor beside him.

“Who was that guy?” Lance shrieks his own question in return.

“The training gladiator. I couldn’t…I couldn’t get him turned off. He was trying to kill me!”

“Well, is he the Castle because that’s who’s trying to kill  _ me _ !” Lance cries.

A chill goes down Keith’s spine. “We’ve got to go,” he says, forcing himself to get to his feet. “We need to find the others. Something strange is going on here.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Lance says, using the wall to help get himself back to his own feet as well.

Before Keith can move, though, Lance gives him a weirdly shy smile. It looks very uncharacteristic on his face. “By the way…thanks. You saved my life.”

Keith manages a weak smile in return. “We’re a team. It’s what we do. Now, come on, we need to find the others.”

He and Lance quickly make their way through the corridors. With Keith so exhausted already, Lance can actually keep up with him for a change.

“What happened to your hair anyway?” Lance pants out as they run.

“I think the bot chopped off the end,” Keith groans, trying to straighten his strands out a little and push them over his shoulder. His hair will be a pain to brush after the airlock incident. “I’ll need to find a new hairtie.”

“No, I mean, like…do you ever brush it?” Lance snickers. “It looks like a crow’s nest!”

Keith flushes. “Well, excuse me for not being able to take the best care of it during all this!”

“Sorry, man, sorry,” Lance says, holding up his hands.

Before Keith can reply, they both see Coran turning a corner crossing into theirs. “Oh, there you are!”

After a quick run-down of the situation, the three of them make their way to Pidge’s make-shift lab in the Green Lion’s hangar to find Pidge and Hunk. As it turns out, Lance and Keith aren’t the only ones who have been having trouble today; Hunk and Pidge first got attacked by the food goo system and then were forced to float in zero gravity conditions.

“Perhaps the infection from Sendak’s Galra Crystal is worse than we thought,” Coran admits, sounding worried and glancing over at said crystal at the other end of the hangar.

“Well, let’s get rid of it,” Hunk says, making a move towards the crystal.

“It’s too late for that,” Coran says. “When Sendak plugged it into the ship, it corrupted the entire system.”

Cold sweat begins to gather at the back of Keith’s neck again. “Sendak,” he murmurs. “Wait. Has anyone seen Shiro?”

Keith hardly listens to any of the sounds of denial from the others before he starts dashing towards the detainment room; to where he left Shiro and Sendak not so long ago. He prays it wasn’t too long. Even as his legs ache, and his breath comes out short from all he’s already pushed himself this quintant, Keith keeps running. He’s vaguely aware of everyone following him at his back, but he barely pays them any mind. At this point, he is a creature of instinct, and one whose every cell is telling him his kindred soul is in peril, and that Keith must go to his aid. At this moment, it’s all he can think of or care about.

When he finally enters the area that puts him in sight of Shiro, Keith can immediately tell something is not right with him either. He can smell Shiro’s fear clouding the air, sense his disgust and self-loathing, see the sweat on his brow. His racing heart is so loud Keith can hear it even at this distance, can count every erratic breath that escapes Shiro’s lips as he stands bent over before Sendak’s now oddly empty and cracked pod.

“Shiro!” Keith cries, making sure to soften his steps while still keeping the urgent pace making the last few paces over to his kindred soul.

“Shiro, it’s okay, you’re safe, I’m here,” Keith murmurs softly, stepping in front of Shiro’s line of sight. Shiro’s eyes look blank, like he’s not really seeing anything past his own nose, let alone hearing Keith’s words. “Shiro, can you hear me? It’s going to be okay. You’re at the Castle of Lions. You’re a Paladin of Voltron. You’re not with the Galra Empire anymore. You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Shiro takes in a heaving, stuttered breath, before blinking. When his eyes reopen, they look slightly more cleared, though still wide and wild. “Keith…?”

“It’s me,” Keith confirms, stepping a bit closer into Shiro’s space. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Sendak, he…” Shiro gasps, his voice and shoulders shaking.

“Can I touch you?” Keith asks softly.

“What?” Shiro gasps, before catching himself. “Oh, yeah, sure…”

Keith steps in and pulls Shiro in his arms. Shiro folds into him like a scared kit, trembling violently in Keith’s embrace. Keith rubs his back, tightening his hold around him, feeling almost as if he’s fighting to keep Shiro together with his touch alone.

“You’re safe now,” Keith murmurs into his shoulder. “I’ll keep you safe, now and forever.”

“Keith…” Shiro sighs into his shoulder. With the rush of air out, his whole body slowly seems to start to relax beneath Keith’s touch. Keith lets out a breath of his own in relief.

The others catch up to them, and Shiro extracts himself from Keith’s hold. Keith lets him go, though admittedly a little reluctant. He can tell Shiro’s not completely alright yet, and probably still needs a bit more support, but he understands. Before he is anything else, Shiro sees himself as their leader. He still can’t bring himself to show weakness or the fact that he’s afraid before the others, because, if he did, they would grow even more worried in turn. For them, Shiro has to be strong and put on a front that he’s in control. Keith may not think it fair, and he should probably talk to Shiro about it at some point, but for now, they have more urgent things to wonder about.

“Where’s Sendak?” Coran asks.

“I…I had to get him out of here,” Shiro manages, sounding pained. “I…I was hearing his voice. He can’t be trusted on this ship.”

Lance manages to finish giving out his own explanation of what has happened to the rest of them during the morning just as the Castle alerts them that the ship is preparing for a wormhole jump.

And then they need to run again, this time to Allura and the command deck.

…

When they reach the bridge, they find Allura still dressed in her long nightgown with her hands placed over the domes of her control pedestals. Outside, they have a view of a star about to go supernova. And they’re headed straight for it.

“We’re going to Altea,” Allura turns to say to them over her shoulder. Her voice sounds strangely dreamy, her eyes and expression blank and frightening in their eerie serenity. The sight of her like this makes Keith sick to his stomach. She looks more like a life-sized puppet than a living being. “We’re going home. My father is taking us.”

Keith swallows down his nausea. Allura is clearly trapped in some sort of a daze. The instant he and the others take a step towards her to break her out of her head, the images of Allura’s father, King Alfor, are projected huge all around them. His echoing and commanding voice is enough to make them stand down and stop. Allura is also engulfed by a force field, shielding her from them and their reasoning. It seems with the rest of the Castle, the memory system of King Alfor’s AI persona has become corrupted as well. And now, Allura is flying all of them right towards a star about to explode, trapped under the memory and the dream of her father and her home of Altea.

None of their cries for her to snap out of her trance seem to be working, until Coran’s knowledge of Altea and its plant life works to snap Allura out of her dream as she realizes the flowers she is apparently seeing in her illusion have no scent. But even awakened now, as she tries to steer the Castle’s course back, the system rejects her and blocks her out of the steering position, slamming her off.

“Father, please, I beg you to turn this ship around,” Allura pleads with the hologram of her father, still inside the forcefield, her hands pressed against it. “If we don’t do it soon, we will all perish!”

“I know. That is my intention,” the hologram says, terrifyingly calm.

“What?” Allura gasps. “Why?”

“Don’t you see, dear daughter?” the hologram says. “Zarkon can never be defeated. He’s been ruling for 10,000 deca-phoebes.”

“But we must continue to fight!” Allura cries.

“Fight for what?” the hologram says, turning on his heel to face Allura, looming over her on the podium. “It is all over for Altea. You don’t have to live a lifetime of war. You can be with me and the rest of your people.”

“Father, please!” Allura says, a sorrowful and desperate edge entering her voice. “The Paladins and I can still stop Zarkon. Somewhere in there, you must want that to happen.”

As soon as she finishes talking, the image of Alfor begins to flicker and glitch before them, and his expression shifts into a much sadder, more frightened one over his commanding and certain one from before.

“Allura,” he speaks, his voice a broken echo. “My AI is being corrupted. You must - my power source!” The image flickers back into the corrupted one, standing straight and sympathetic, but still flickering. “We can stroll across the Blossom Canyon every morn- just like - used to. Remember how much you loved that?”

“I remember,” Allura says softly, lowering her eyes. “I’ll see you soon, Father.” She turns on her heel, finally facing them, now all determination and grace, the very image of the Altean princess of the old stories. “I’ve got to get into the AI chamber to disconnect my Father’s power source manually.”

“But that means…losing King Alfor forever,” Coran says, horrified.

Allura’s expression becomes pinched with pain and sorrow, but all she says is, “Paladins, get to your Lions! I need you to slow the Castle’s descent into the star.”

Before she has even finished talking, she is already making her way out of the command deck. Not for the first time, Keith has to admire her strength; not just those of her powers and her body, but of her mind and soul as well. He can’t imagine what she must be thinking or feeling right now. He isn’t sure if he could bring himself to do what she is clearly about to.

Still, this is something she must accomplish on her own; all Keith and the others can do is assist her so they can all live to see the next quintant. Therefore, he and the other Paladins head to their Lions as told to stall their descent into the exploding star, pushing back against the Castle with their thrusters at full power.

Thankfully, Allura succeeds with her endeavors just in time, ordering them back into the Castle so they can wormhole away in the nick of time before the star explodes and takes them all with it.

As he flies Red back inside the Castle, Keith sends a silent prayer off to Marmora on the behalf of Allura and her departed father; the same one they recite on Mourning Days at the Blade. He’s not sure how much she’d appreciate a prayer to a Galra god of old for her, but it’s all Keith knows to do. And Marmora is the guardian and protector of the just and fair, and the punisher of the wicked, after all. It feels fitting, given the circumstances.

The Paladins regroup at the command center again afterwards, where Allura is waiting for them. It is strange to see her sitting, when she’s usually the most regal of them all, always standing straight and proud on her feet. Not that Keith can blame her for her current position, his heart aching just from looking at her defeated form. Though honestly, she’s almost frighteningly calm. If it was him, he’s sure he’d be screaming and crying and breaking things by now.

Shiro begins making his way over to Allura, prompting the rest of them to follow. He takes a soft, slow seat on her right side, Coran to her left, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry about your father, princess.”

“We all are,” Hunk says, sounding like he feels as pathetic saying that as Keith does right now saying nothing. He has no words of comfort to offer, knows there is nothing he can do to make this better; make this easier on Allura. But it still hurts to know he can’t, while he so wishes he could.

“Thank you,” Allura says, closing her eyes. When she opens them again, some of the familiar determination has returned to them. “But that was not my father.” She stands to her feet on the podium, towering over them like a goddess, like the leader and general that she is. “The real King Alfor was a great man and a great father. He may not be here with us anymore, but his dream lives on through all of us, and his legacy is Voltron.”

Keith closes his eyes. He’s not sure what to feel, seeing her like this, so calm and collected now. It’s almost even more eerie than the earlier sorrow, if only because the sorrow feels so short-lived. Perhaps Allura is in denial, perhaps she’s just very good at looking at the bigger picture and putting aside personal problems for the mission. He can’t know. All he can do is support her, not in the least because he respects her all the more for what she did today than he already did before.

…

Despite her speech, Allura finds herself growing quite weary not long after they’ve all managed to eat a little to replace their strength. It doesn’t surprise Keith. She’s carved from a similar steel as the Blades and as Shiro. They all prefer to mourn and be frail when there is no one around to see.

The Paladins gather in the lounge instead, none of them especially eager to be alone after everything that has happened this quintant, if only for safety’s sake. They don’t do much, all of them exhausted and sad from everything. Pidge dozes off on the couch for a bit, and Keith finds himself nodding a little as well, all the rush of the quintant beginning to catch up to him.

He quickly snaps at attention when he feels someone touching his hair behind him.

“Whoa!” Lance cries, holding up his hands. “It’s just me, chill out!”

“Sorry,” Keith says, lowering his arms from their fighting stance and tossing his hair over his shoulder. He really needs to find a new hairtie soon. “Why were you touching my hair?”

“I thought…I could brush it?” Lance says, gesturing to the brush in his right hand that he has acquired from somewhere. “I thought it might be relaxing.” He pauses. “And your hair is still a mess.”

Keith blinks. He hadn’t been expecting this. “…If you want to.”

He turns around for Lance and lets him get to work on his hair. It hurts a little, given the strands are indeed quite tangled, but as soon as Lance manages to work through the worst of the knots, it does start to become very soothing. Keith has to fight down the urge to both purr and to fall asleep. It feels so much like home.

“Oh, man,” Lance groans, working the brush. “That gladiator definitely doesn’t have a future as a hairdresser. Your strands are so uneven now!”

“You can give me a haircut tomorrow,” Keith promises, yawning.

“Really?!” Lance cries, gleeful, and it actually surprises Keith that he’d be that excited about it.

“Sure. So long as you only cut off the bad ends. I want to keep it long like this.”

“You should,” Shiro says from where he’s sitting across from them on the couch, a gentle smile on his face. His cheeks turn a bit pink. “I…I just mean that…long hair looks nice on you. You could do to wear it loose like this more often, too.”

Keith smiles back at him, his own cheeks growing warm. “Thanks. But it’d be inconvenient. We need to be ready for battle so fast, I can’t be worrying about tying it up all the time.”

“Why do you even wear it so long if it’s so bothersome?” Lance asks, still brushing through his strands. “You don’t really seem the type.”

Keith bites his lip, musing on his words. “My grandfather wears his hair long too, and braided like mine. When I was little, I was kind of scared of him, and I didn’t really know how to talk to him. He’s a very high ranked member of the resistance, and looks stern, so…” he manages a smile, ducking his head. “But one day, I gathered up my courage and asked if I could brush his hair. It’s…common with my people to help groom family members like that. He agreed. And it was the first time I ever felt so close to him. So I decided to grow my hair out too, so he could groom it for me in turn. It became our thing.”

“Huh,” Lance hums. “That sounds nice.”

“Grandfather is honestly very kind,” Keith says. “He just…worries about me, since I’m his only grandkit. He wants to keep me safe, and I know he’s afraid of losing me. I think he was just trying to keep me at a distance when I was young, so he wouldn’t get attached and get hurt if he lost me…” He sighs. “He’s lost a lot of people. He doesn’t want me to become one of them.”

There’s a moment’s silence, and Keith doesn’t think he’s wrong when he thinks they’re all contemplating, perhaps for the first time, the sacrifices of this war. Not in the least because the events of this quintant.

“Hey…” Hunk says softly after a while. “You said family grooms each other for you guys.” He gives Keith a small, warm smile. “Does that make us family? Since Lance is grooming you?”

Keith blinks, his eyes widening. He glances around himself, at all of his fellow Paladins and their suddenly eager, expectant faces.

He smiles. “Yeah. I think it does.”

“Awww, Keith!” Hunk cries, his eyes welling up. “Group hug!”

Before Keith even fully realizes what is happening, he’s being squeezed in the middle of all the Paladins, barely able to move or breathe. And that’s the final thing to break the olvig’s back this quintant. He begins to laugh, and then to cry.

He’s home here. He has a family here.

He’s not alone anymore.

And perhaps, with time, Allura will realize that neither is she, despite what she may think right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the draft for this chapter months ago. Now, in retrospect, it makes me really sad. I actually wondered if I should keep Alfor's AI, but I also believe that it's not healthy to dwell in the past like that. The real Alfor is dead no matter what. The AI is only a memory. And clinging to memories too much can keep you from moving forward.
> 
> Still, I am filled with anger and sorrow over Allura every day.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](http://nihonlove.tumblr.com/)!


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